I suspect we’ve all known “that” person
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This. I don’t know why this is so hard for people to do. You don’t have to fix anything. Just, like, be there.
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It is difficult. I find my husband can’t not suggest things when I’m upset, and honestly I find I do the same with my daughter. I practiced this tonight- just being there. She was upset and I sat with her. I rubbed her arm and I didn’t speak. I wanted to say a lot, but I just thought about this image and kept quiet.It worked much better then if I tried to fix things♥️
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My best friend asks “are you looking for solutions or commiseration?” When she starts to get the urge to fix me. Lol. It’s actually been really incredible cause it’s taught me to think about what I actually want and need. Sometimes I say can I tell you the thing first? And she says yeah and stays neutral. And sometimes I’m like ok now be mad with me! And we will rant and rage against whatever and then I’m like ok now I’m ready for solutions. Sometimes I just want to cry in her lap and sometimes I know I’m looking for problem solving or just a sounding board right from the start. I’ve started using this with my husband and he’s really taken to it as well. And it’s so nice to have some clarity on if what I’m offering is really helpful instead of trying to mind read which I am notoriously bad at. Lol
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Yes I think that’s a great way to do it. It’s been in the back of my mind to add that actual question like “are you looking for just support or solutions”. I’m going to start verbalizing that as well. I’m thankful that I’m handling things better than I used to. What a difference it made for my daughter tonight. I go to sleep feeling a little more peaceful.
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Double heck yeah to this!!! Agreed and completely understood.
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Whoops I forgot today. I fixed it. Friendly reminder for anyone else that might need it. Don’t forget to take your meds. And while I have your attention drink a glass of water. You’re probably shriveling up like I was.
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Depression wave is kicking my ass. Went for a hike after work that normally I really enjoy but felt like crying the whole time. It always passes and I know this but I’m really fucking sad right now and needed to let it out. I love you guys 
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