How are you doing today? Hope your sobriety journey is going well.
If you get a chance - check out the Checking in daily to maintain focus #58 – daily check ins with this community have really helped me stay grounded.
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Back to day 1.
I had buddies invite me out to a concert last night, and made the wrong menu decisions.
My progress is slow and steady. I’m moving in the right direction, but I’m not there yet.
Now I’ve got to clean the house, be a present parent, and get ready for dinner guests this afternoon after a crappy short sleep.
Reminders the hard way.
Have a good day, and thanks for reading.
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Hate to say it but in early sobriety you’re best off not going too concerts, parties, having old buddies over, ect. You have way too many triggers around you. Im a recovering opiate addict, i will always be an addict no matter how much clean time i have. There is no such thing as weekend using, once in a while, just one with me. I take one pill and ill probably be off to the races again. You should notify friends and family that you are quitting alcohol and to respect that. True friends wont be saying " 1 wont hurt" or all the stupid peer pressure one liners. The only thing that eventually got me clean was hitting up meetings and being around fellow addicts in recovery. I used to be the guy who thought NA was a cult and addicts who were way worse than me. I didnt need that, thats for weak losers. Then eventually when i went most the stories i heard was my story, my roots of addiction. Alcohol really isnt your problem, just like opiates werent really my problem. The problem is the root of my addiction, my inner obsessions, my resentments & pain burried way down deep and working on realeasing them. Good luck
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Thanks @lorelai and @Mike_Gee for the solid advice. I’ve been honest with friends and family about not drinking, but I think I need to be a bit more direct and up front early at social occasions and make it clear that there’s no grey area when I decline the first drink round.
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I remember when I first started to question if I could quit on my own or not, I wanted to try moderation or tapering down on my drinks. I attempted to drink less during the day, refusing to drink before I went to sleep… it’s tough and did not work out as I’ve planned. Became really agitated and the need to drink intensified big time. It’s either you quit or you don’t. Social drinking once you become sober should be out of the question too. Stay as far away that you can…
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Are you trying to do your sobriety on your own, the way you did your moderation? Check out these suggestions so that you don’t do this alone.
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Other folks have offered great advice and it sounds like you are ready to be free of alcohol for good, but old habits, patterns, and mindsets are getting in the way. That was true for me as well. It wasn’t until I read (and reread) the book This Naked Mind, which someone had recommended, that I was able to see alcohol for what it really was.
If you click through the link above, it should take you to a website that explains the book and offers a free 30 day “alcohol experiment.” It’s good to see you here! Keep posting and interacting with us! 
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Hello! This post will be a current inventory, reflection, and expression of gratitude on the people and things in my life that are supportive on my sober journey, and some challenges/obstacles I have to keep strategies for. It will be a long post. Trigger warning on brief backstory sentences on past alcohol consumption.
I’ll start with the good, in no particular order.
-My very close friend G. He is probably the guy friend I hang out with the most the past three years. While he is still a social occasional drinker, he also mixes in full dry months a couple of times a year, and like some other of my friends, has a good array of non-alcoholic options and activities at his house if we end up there. We are both coffee enjoyers, and I offer him a tea or coffee when he’s over.
-My friend K. K is a guy friend I hang out with about once a month. He quit alcohol cold turkey back in March. He had a “diaper party” back at his house with a group of us guys who were all expecting fathers as a ‘last hurrah’. I had enough and ubered home by midnight, but the rest of them ended up on an all night pub and house party crawl. He had a 3 day hangover - including sleeping the full day after - and that was his last straw. Not a drop since then. We just had him over for Thanksgiving, and he carried his own ice water bottle. He also, like me, keeps his fridge stocked with good quality non-alcoholic non-pop options. Because we’ve had so many overlapping stages of life, he is great for my support system.
-Every person in my life who was an alcoholic or heavy drinker in the past has either quit (My Dad, who I am very close with, is in this boat), or I don’t see them anymore (those were only the sports buddies). My life evolved this way the past 3 years without me putting any effort into that. I’m extremely grateful for that; it is a nice feature of my life.
-Let’s talk about organized sports. From 2002-2022, I played in somewhere around 45 total summer and winter sports leagues. Pretty much all of them involved having drinks afterwards, going home to a crappy sleep, and waking up the next morning exhausted. I can’t think of any exceptions to that. Having a baby this past spring cut organized sports out of my life this year, which has been a real eye-opener.
I won’t spend any more hours with people I wouldn’t hang out with outside of those sports drinking activities.
Next time I join a league, it will not be anything resembling a “beer” league. There are many good options in my city for people who enjoy the sport itself and camaraderie, and don’t need alcohol included, which is what I will stick with.
On the other side - Situations I have to maintain my strategies for
-Music festivals and concerts. Relatively self-explanatory. There is a music festival in my city that I go to every summer with a core group of friends. The festival is behind the times with beverage options, and non-alcoholic options are limited to coffee/fountain pop/water/overly sugared expensive lemonade with a big lineup. The key here is to just stick with water, and throw some electrolytes in the bottle if I need something to keep energy up. Coffee between shows. Nice. That strategy has worked very well in the past for me in long festivals where I had to work the next day and couldn’t be exhausted.
-Wineries. Breweries and winery tours/dinners are a thing that happens a few times a year with my close friends. I’m grateful every single brewery I’ve been to has good quality non alcoholic options. So far I’ve only been to one winery dinner where I had to stick to coffee and fountain ginger ale - most of them are much better for non-drinkers these days. I’m comfortable at this point with my strategy.
-I also always keep good quality nonalcoholic champagne in my fridge,in case there is a toast, or we are at my house on New Years. I have done this since about 2013, as I don’t think it is right to assume guests need to lower their standards if they are avoiding alcohol.
For the people on here that insist on avoiding events with alcohol early in sobriety: I respect your decision, and I hope that works for you, but it is not for me, and not compatible with my social life.
If you’ve read this far, thank you, and I hope you enjoy your day. Either way, I think it is healthy for me to put my thoughts in writing out in the world somewhere, and read them myself afterward.
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November 2-6 2023
This will be the biggest test so far of my commitment to sobriety and avoiding the cheap fast fun of abusing alcohol.
My wife is going away on a work trip with colleagues for 5 days, and I have to stick around home for work. I’ve got a daunting, mile-long to-do list of household tasks and projects (as so many of us do!).
I’m going to stay sober and present, having a productive but restful and restorative few days.
When I need a break from the to-do list, rather than head to the vices, I promise to myself to do one of the following instead:
-get back into the home gym, even if I’ve already been there
-get back into menu planning and food prep, even if I think it’s done already
-get on the yoga mat with no excuses. Repeat: no excuses.
-do a meditation, even if I’ve done one recently
-pick up a book and read a full chapter
This will all pay off when I pick my wife up at the airport, and no doubt when I’m still paying interest on consumer debt in spring/summer 2024 — at least it won’t be from stocking up on cheap fun in November 2023.
Peace and well-being to anyone reading this. 
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A few quick notes on my thread!:
I’m about to hit day 32 on my current streak. This is now my longest streak since I started a 22-year period of heavy alcohol use at age 17 in high school.
I am turning 40 this week! It will be my first sober birthday as an adult. Honestly, the best things I could ask for for my birthday with my little family would be a decent sleep and a bit of a productivity break.
I am taking some time away from my office, and going travelling for 6 weeks with my wife and daughter! I will be using my phone sparingly, so likely won’t be checking in here until the week of Christmas.
Take care of yourself. Best wishes to you on your journey.
See you on here soon
-PT
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Back to day 1, unfortunately.
Guys night out at the hockey game last night got the upper hand on me.
I thought I was past drinking to the point of F-ing up my sleep and next day, but I’m not there yet.
Back to ODAAT, and hopefully getting a decent streak back going.
On the plus side, I got my daughter ready early this morning, and put together a beef stew in the slow cooker, and have hustled with work so far. Hopefully I can still be useful and helpful at home tonight.
Sorry to hear. I found it really helpful to avoid situations where I would be tempted until I felt a little more solid in my ability to say no. I also found it helpful to remember why I was no longer drinking.
I kept a long list of why on my phone and when I felt like ‘just a drink or two’ I read that list and it reminded me of the reality of drinking versus the fantasy. Might be helpful for you as well.
Glad you are still here. Don’t give up. It takes what it takes.
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It sounds like a slip for you and not a full blown relapse. You got this man. Stay grateful and positive
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Day 95.
For the first time in years as of yesterday, i’ve gotten to a great place at my office work where I’m able to keep up, and i don’t have any major looming deadlines stressing me out.
I now don’t have any excuses to keep putting off my housework projects, neglecting my weight training, and avoiding a distance ed course I’ve been postponing since October.
I’m getting a hard reminder this week of how dependent I’ve been on external sources of dopamine and stimulation to ‘medicate’ and get through my days for pretty much my entire adult life. You know them. Internet addiction, after-work drinks, lounging around, etc.
It’s just me versus life now. Fighting through the distraction temptations every waking minute of the day.
Bring it on.
I’ve got this.
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Back to zero.
I’m ashamed and angry at myself.
I had a friend over to watch the hockey game, he showed up with beer, and I had one pouring for myself even knowing it was a terrible idea. Then one after another. I ate like crap, skipped the gym, and didn’t get a bunch of stuff I wanted done last night.
Today I am about to get out of bed on 3 hours of crappy sleep, and have to pack my family for a huge long Europe trip (leaving this afternoon). It’s my biggest day of the year so far, and I blew it. I f*cked up.
I put alcohol above my daughter, my wife, my health, my house, and everything else that matters most to me.
I need to re-read this post next time I’m thinking I’ve ‘beat’ alcohol, because I haven’t right now.
I’m ready to admit I can’t do it alone anymore, and I will be seeking external help.
Thank you for reading.
All the best on your journey.
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Sorry about the relapse. That’s rough. You’re right, you can’t do it alone. I relapsed countless times before I finally realized the one tool I was missing in my sober toolbox was community. This community has made all the difference for me. I check in every day on the check in thread to help me set my intention. I get inspiration to keep going from reading here. Sometimes I vent. Sometimes I offer some encouragement or thoughts. It’s all good. Whether you find your community here or in real life, use it!
Hugs and strength and love to you! 
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Recovery can be very challenging.
I have learned that nothing changes if nothing changes.
Reading from the inception of this thread seems to support that.
For me, it was a program (AA) in my case that provided me the tools for change.
I would suggest getting a program and working it.
For me, keep it simple. “Don’t drink and go to meetings.”
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