7 AF, 7 weed free
One week down, more to come. I slept pretty poorly, saw some disturbing dreams. Nothing much to say, I’m just listening to music with my headphones. The fabulous reality of the psych ward. Thank you @DanielaJ and @ICanAndWill for your lovely messages!
I wish you all a great and sober 24!
Still at the psych ward. They let me go outside for a little walk. It’s sunny and -18 Celsius, basic Nordic weather. I’m still really depressed, full of unknown fear, guilt, shame and regret. My kids blocked me, they don’t wanna associate with me anymore. It’s killing me because I love them so much. Another example how using substances can ruin relationships. I’m just hoping that they will reach out to me in some point and I can prove to them that I’m sober. The worst thing is that I don’t even remember what I said or did to piss them off. It’s a horrible feeling. Now I’m completely alone, no friends, no kids, but I’ll survive. I’m so motivated to stay sober, no matter what. Fuck me, what a crazy ride…
And what am I, chopped liver? 
Haha, my friend!
Sorry to hear about the kids. I hope you can make amends with them down the road. And I believe you will. Staying sober over a long period of time is key. So focus on that it is key to opening the door again. Much love @MrMoustache
Thank you so much for the encouraging words. Yes, I’m sure that when I’ll stay sober, my kids are starting to trust me again. Indeed, patience is the key, also in sobriety. Much love!
Sending light and love along your way, friend 
Thank you, my friend! Light and love, always needed! Same to you!
9 AF, 9 weed free
I slept well and I don’t have any cravings. My sobriety is strong although I’m (again) just starting. I’m using Antabuse and my counselors give it to me twice a week, so I can’t cheat. I just drank my morning coffee, two cups and now I’m just chilling in my psych ward’s room listening to roots reggae. I’m still anxious, depressed and full of unknown fear but I’m trying to stay positive. I wish you all a great sober 24!
Fuck me, I’m drowning in guilt, shame and regret. Why, oh why do I have to suffer from these diseases… being an alcoholic and addict have totally destroyed my life. This is my rock bottom and final wake up call. I know I’m gonna feel better when time flies, but right now I’m a mess. Luckily I’m safe at the psych ward but that doesn’t wash away my wrecked mental state. I’m so thankful for this community because it makes me feel that others are also suffering from guilt, shame and regret. Oh well, I’m gonna continue to listen to roots reggae, it gives me a little positive hope. Thanks guys for being there.
We know the struggle. You are definetly not alone in this. So glad you are showing up here again!
Thank you, my dear friend. Your words means a lot to me. This community is my cornerstone and this time I’m gonna be here daily. Thanks again. Peace and love.
I love to hear that you plan to check in here regularly. I truly missed you.
I missed you too.
This is good positive step [quote=“MrMoustache, post:821, topic:195147”]
I’m using Antabuse and my counselors give it to me twice a week, so I can’t cheat.
[/quote]
Things will get better overtime. As long as we stay sober!
Thank you! Yeah, I feel good about the Antabuse. At least it prevents me from drinking.
10 AF, 10 weed free
I slept well. Just ate a breakfast and now I’m listening to roots reggae in my room. I’m meeting a doctor today and I’m trying to convince him to let me stay until Wednesday because on Thursday I have my own psych nurse’s and doctor’s appointment. I’m still anxious and full of fear about the future but every sober day makes me feel slightly better. ODAAT as always. Peace and Love!
I hope they do let you stay longer. It really is just one day at a time. We just need to take care of the now. Inspire to the future and live for now.
Things will get better the further away we get from that last drink.
Have you try online AA? If not try it out. There is a lot of value in it and support we need.
I’m ready to go home on Wednesday if a doctor says so. Thank you for the comforting words, I appreciate them a lot. I try my best to live now, not in the past nor in the future. I regret the past and fear the future. But like you said, things will get better. I have tried online AA but it wasn’t for me. I know there are others like SMART and Dharma Recovery etc. but I find my counselors and psych nurse’s support more than enough. I’m probably starting DBT again this year because last time I dropped out because of using substances. But let’s see what my doctor suggests. Thanks again, my friend!
Keep pushing forward my friend
Thank you @Von100, I will!
11 AF, 11 weed free
I met a doctor today and he decided I’m ready to go home tomorrow on Wednesday. Well, I’m not, but there’s nothing I can say or do. Gotta just survive. But on the other hand I’m happy to go home and do my little things like taking walks, reading books, listening to music and so on. I’m depressed and anxious as fuck, but I’ll survive. Right now I’m listening roots reggae on my headphones and trying to stay positive. Have a great 24 everyone!