This day has been pretty okay despite of the familiar anxiety, depression, guilt, shame and regret. I took a 40 min power walk, washed my hair, chilled with listening to reggae and now I’ve been reading plans in the Bible app (thanks to @waywardwanderer). I’m listening to Anima Christi on a repeat because I love this song and it clears my dark thoughts a little bit. After having my faith back and receiving the love of Jesus Christ again in my heart, I feel I have hope and I can find a way out of this hell hole, to heal and experience joy and happiness again. After all it’s a little bit over a month after using substances, so my brain chemistry is pretty fucked up for a while. But I love these quiet nights before going to bed. I hope you all are okay in this addiction battle. We can do this together. Love you guys, God bless you all.
Thank you, so lovely, inspiring and soothing! I absolutely love Gregorian chants, they make me remember what is important - God’s love and mercy towards us.
A new day, new opportunities! I slept well, but saw some disturbing using dreams where I drank beer. And when I woke up, my first thought was that oh my, it would be so nice to have a cold beer. But the thought went away in a second. Besides I’m on Antabuse so drinking is not an option. Today I have to do some social security applications with my counselor which I hate but luckily those are quickly done. Other than that I don’t have any plans. Have a great sober 24, guys!
What a day. Now my counselors and everyone are worried about my weight because I have lost 20 kg in 5 months because I eat so little, I don’t need food almost at all. I’ve been always skinny, but due to my beer drinking and eating shitty food I gained weight about 30 kg and now 20 kg is lost. I’m gonna drop weight 10 kg to be in normal weight and that’s it. They are worried that I have eating disorder and they don’t care that my normal weight is 70 kg (now it’s 78 kg) and so on. I understand they are worried about everything in my life but I just want one day without questioning me. Just one fucking day. Geez
Yay! I’m so happy to hear you have found faith again and are finding the bible plans comforting, as they have done for me. 
I’m deeply sorry for the struggles you have been going through. I also have been through similar darkness. It’s easy to lose hope and feel as though you are trapped in it all.
What helps me is to remember that those are all lies. You are not alone, you are loved beyond measure, and you’re also trying every day to do better. You are learning and growing one day at a time.
Prayer is also essential and in my prayer I thank God and show gratitude for the things that are going right and also for the things I learned in my challenges. I just talk to him about everything and surrender all of my worries. It really helps to reorient my mind to what is the truth.
A book that really helped me with prayer is:
If you are interested 
Also the Psalms is one of my favorite books when I’m having a tough time 
I am truly praying for peace and comfort for you. You are so worthy of it! 
Thank you so much for your comforting words, my sister in Christ. Sorry to hear you’ve also been in the darkness, but I’m so happy you’ve found the way out. God works indeed so mysterious ways. Thank you for sharing your struggles, it really helps me to know I’m not alone in this hell hole.
I’m also really glad you pray a lot. I also try to pray a lot and try my best to surrender to God. Have you read Timothy Keller’s book Pray - My Rock, My Refuge? I’m currently reading it and I have found it to really help in my praying. Thank you for sharing that YT link, I’m gonna definitely check that book out. I also like the Psalms, I’m reading them often to ease my pain.
Thanks again, your post really made me feel better. God bless you!
Wow. I can understand that. Jeez, just one time you’d like to hear what you’re doing right. Period. End of story.
I’m sorry to hear about this.
So, allow me to supplement that experience with my review:
You have consistently showed up to a proven and beneficial aid to your sobriety. In doing so, you have practiced healthy vulnerability, fact checking your emotions and thoughts, and have shown compassion and empathy to your peers in spite of your own difficulties. That shows you possess a beautiful heart and a unique spirit. 
Well done!
I haven’t but have come across many Timothy Keller quotes and love them all! Putting on my reading list 
God bless you too friend!!
Thank you, my dear brother. We all are trying our best and by the enormous love of God and Jesus Christ, we can achieve the impossible. Thank you for being such an inspiration. Your kindness and humbleness are really helping me to stay on the right path.
Just came from the doctor’S appointment. They are not letting me go to the therapy until they are sure that I’m not drinking or using anything. They start to monitor me with tests, so it takes at least a month. But that’s ok. It’s a rainy day, but I’m going for a power walk today. Other than that I’m just gonna listen to music and read the Bible. Feeling depressed and pretty hopeless, but it is what it is. Gonna try to make a good day. I wish you all have a great 24!
I can understand why that’s disappointing, but it’s not hopeless. You’re already proving to yourself that you can and will remain sober. It’s one day at a time. Before you know it, the month will be done and they’ll approve you in no time!
I suggest you read and meditate on some of the Psalms. Psalm 13, 22, and 42/43 are perfect examples of deep laments that end with hope and joy in the Lord.
It’s okay to feel depressed and discouraged. Those are very human emotions. What’s beautiful about these Psalms are they remind us that God is in control, and in Him we have our hope and strength.
Isaiah 40: 28-31
What a beautiful day to let go, and let God!
Thanks, man! I’m not actually disappointed that my therapy won’t start yet. I think it’s actually a good thing because the therapy is so demanding. So waiting over a month is nice because then I’d been sober for a longer time and my brain chemistry is in a better place.
Thank you for the psalms, I will definitely check them out today and meditate on them.
I napped in my bed for 4 hrs and then I got up and did a 45 min power walk, took a hot shower, washed my hair, took protein supplement, ate a banana and now I’m starting to read those psalms.
I feel depressed and hopeless because everything is so dark, I’m so disappointed how I have screwed up my relationships to my kids and how messed I am. But like my counselor said, I’m too harsh on myself and I know she’s right. But I just can’t get out from this dark abyss. Time will heal, I’m sure of it. Now I just gotta grind through and keep myself active, not let the demons get a grip of me.
Thanks again. Hugs!
Amen! Don’t let the devil get a foothold on your day!
NOT TODAY SATAN
I’m so proud of you.
Thank you! Indeed, not today, Satan. And I’m so proud of you, you are doing so well and your example in walking the path of faith is truly inspiring!
Don’t be disillusioned, I may walk occasionally; but I trip, stumble, fall, and crawl most of the time! 
My goal is to have Hind’s feet and bounce effortlessly up to the High Places…but until then, I’m doing my best to heal from the last bump in the path. 
Haha, that’s awesome! But oh my, I love your humbleness so much!
35 AF, 40 without weed
Nice round number without weed. Feeling good about my sobriety.
I slept well well, but like always, I woke up feeling depressed. But today I won’t let the depression drag me down, I’m gonna make this a good day, no matter what. Power walk, listening to music and reading the Bible, that’s the plan for today. I hope you all have a great 24, my sober tribe!