Hi i’m new here, and english is not my language so forgive my spelling and grammer…
I quited nicotin 5 years ago (was smoking more then 10 cigarets a day for 25 years since i was 15) , quited canabis 4 years ago (after 20 years of smoking in the evenings every evning).
Quitting nicotin was hard for many years. Never had emothions towards my cigarets, but cigarets become ike food and water, you just can’t quit. Had lots of tries and failures. but one day i stoped smoking. I tried and suddenly after 2-3 weeks i understood it’s not like food and water, i don’t need it. It’s not relaxing it’s not fun, and everything is just the same without it. today i can’t remember the feeling of the crave for a cigare. Can’t understand the action of smoking a cigaret.
Quitting Canabis was hard for a long time. I like being stoned i like being careless and free, and everybody smoke, so it’s who you are and what you do. But it was also hurting my every day - work, studying, and marriage. one day i had an anxity attack after smoking weed. In the beginning i denyed it was because of the canabis, but after another 2 anxity attacks the following days i just didn’t want to smoke weed ever again in my life. And still feel like this 4 years later. I’m all done with that. this is not fun for me anymore. The expiriencs was so frightning so it made it all easy to quit. And hey i still got vodka to keep me carlesd and free… so alcohol came along to make me happy in the evenings.
Now i’m trying to quit alcohol. with no success for the last 2 years. I consider myself an alcoholic since quitting canabis for the last 4 years. I Paid heavy price for my drinking and i know the price will go up and up with time.
Now i’m 3 days sober feel good proud and motivated, but fo me, unlike quitting nicotin and canabis i feel i’m giving up on a relationship with a “bad boy”. i know he’s not good for me, and i know i just need to cut it out, but in my mind i can’t stop being romantic and remember the good times the laughs, and the good feelings it made me feel. and i still hope my alcohol and i can find our way to get along and have a nice quiet relationship. I know it’s imposible cause alcohol can’t change. So what is it than? Will i always think and feel of it like a first love with a bad boy who got my head spinnig.
I still hope maybe i can control it and have the fun without the bad.
Is there someone who felt like me in the beginning of the proccess and later on got a new set of believes and understandings which made this relationship with alcohol, i don’t know seem childish, or from another lifetime? Or another planet?
I feel I Need to hear that it can also become like a phase in the past, not intersting and not related to me anymore
Thanks for reading, sorry it’s so long…
This is an illusion. You’re doing so much bad to youself drinking, I’m not even talking hangovers and money wasted. For me the highest price was that it kept me stuck in my pain and barred the way to understanding myself and actually working on my issues and knowing myself, feeling my feelings. So much time wasted where I was stuck in agony, unable to move forward. The same is true for you. You’ve moved from one drug to the next it sounds. You got to remove all of these toxic refuges in order to face yourself i.e. the reasons you’re addicted in the first place.
It will always be related to you. But if you work on recovery, you will 100% discover that you are so much more than what you know of yourself and how you know yourself in active addiction. You’ll be less lonely, because you’ll have a relationship with yourself that makes you feel good, that is not just shame and embarrassment and pain.
You’ll remember the old times. But you’ll move on. You’ll stop yearning for that because what you will have in recovery will be so much better. That’s a promise. If you work it, it’ll work out that way.
Now. Get going.
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Checking in daily to maintain focus #56
Your #1 tip for sobriety (over 2 years sober)
Welcome. It can be done, but only by you.
Welcome, Diddu! You’re very wise to recognize you need to quit alcohol . Admire your courage to quit the other stuff. Alcohol is so pervasive in society, it does require changing your mindset around it. There are many books that can help you with that. You will get lots of support here, so you’re off to a great start!
Welcome to the forum 
and congrats on 3 days 
with time and effort, the romantising should lessen, when you start to see alcohol for what is it, poison. Coming here, reading lots, will be very helpful. You’ll find lots of support, advice, and distraction.
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Thank you everybody all your words are very encouraging