Ugh, so sorry beachy. It got us a couple of times this year. I hope you can get some rest. Tricky with the new job. Many hugs.
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- I’m in a funk. I don’t know why. I just feel down and tired and worry my depression is coming back.
i just feel like i should be doing something else with my life. but i don’t know what. i keep thinking i need to start a business but can’t figure out what exactly i know that others would pay me for.
this new job just isn’t doing it for me. i’m not finding my niche. the people are nice, (although not helpful in learning my new position), and this is just making feel like i can’t find anything that works well for me. i’m supposed to be part of a new “team” - they are hiring 2 people to help this one guy since he’s really backed up. although i think he’s just lazy and doesn’t do much. but who am i to say that- but trying to get help from him, to figure out how to help him is like banging my head against a wall and finally hear from him 3-5 days later. so dumb.
my friends have been flakes lately. basically giving up on them at this point. i need to get some motivation back but everything just seems to be crumbling.
we want to move, but the houses are all super overpriced - for junk. they want over two to three times what our house was bought for just a few years ago. and these are places that need a lot of work. seems stupid to move because of that, but we want to get to FL. these people bought their houses for about half what ours cost at the same time and are trying to sell it for 3 times what they paid. blows my brain. and if we can’t find jobs before we move our buying power is a lot lower. ugh
we put an offer on one, and of course he wouldn’t move on his super inflated price. its like everyone forgets the interest rates have doubled in the last year, but they are still hanging on to these values. i really feel bad for the younger people starting out in life- how is anyone going to afford any thing? hell baby plants (veg/herbs) at lowes are over double what they were last year. and don’t get me started on the grocery store, or sunscreen. wtf
think i’m going to try and find a counselor again. think they can give me life coaching? i just feel like i lost my purpose after leaving the military and i can’t figure out what i’m supposed to be doing. maybe i’ll just quit and go be a traveling vagabond- people get paid for that on you tube- but they like being on camera.
life just feels like a carnival right now and i’m so over it.
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I get this, Beachy, I’ve had days like that. I just keep taking small actions that open me up to possibilities. It’s such a tough time out there. Inflation is rough.
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Thanks Lee. Yeah - honestly i think i got a little lazy and that’s part of it. going to try and keep moving- both literally and figuratively! haha
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Thank you for your post. I can relate and am happy that you find the words. Get it out, vent. I sometimes think: what if I wasn’t so stressed about life, I mean I don’t think that I am really really, like I have to fulfill a purpose, leave something meaningful behind. I sometimes think that this creates a lot of pressure which we cannot win. We will always lose against the imaginary better life existing somewhere. And then, I was thinking also today: why is the problem always me like I don’t feel good in my job. How many therapies and books do I have to do/read until I fit into the system. I hope you will find yourself out of the funk and follow your heart.
I have a whole lot of " I could be doing more with my life" feelings, and " I don’t know who I am ".
The beach community I ended up in has a lot of older people who struggle to take care of their houses and pets. I’ve been doing the dog walking since COVID, but felt that I had more to offer. So at the beginning of this year I started my “helping” business. I clean, organize, care for pets, and do some gardening.
Especially since sobriety, I’ve found that helping people has helped me. Doing something a little different each day keeps me from being burnt out, and most of my work has me outside getting the benefits of fresh air and exercise.
When considering what you would do to open a business, try to think of something that will be fulfilling for you, not just a service other people need. You should be the biggest consideration in the decisions you make.
Why Florida? Is there something you enjoy specifically about being there? How can that work into your day to day?
Waiting a bit for the market to stabilize is probably a better choice anyway, but in the meantime you can think about things that bring you joy and make sure you are doing them in your life now.
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Thank you! Yes it is a weird “pressure” almost. That whole why am i here thing…
I do always find it feels better to get that stuff out of my head, in here or where ever. Talking about that stuff to people can feel weird sometimes or like it’s too heavy.
Hopefully I’ll break out of the funk soon.
Thank you!
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Yes, lots of reflection going on for sure!
That’s great you found a way to incorporate those things without feeling stagnant. I guess these business jobs just aren’t doing it for me.
Regarding FL, We have some real long term friends over there that we’d like to get closer too and that part has the offshore stuff we like to do, in a (almost) affordable area. Just figuring out jobs, and moves and all that - is hard and frustrating. I’ve never had to do that before. My old job just took care of it.
I really like your ideas though.
I’m think I’m trying to find a way to incorporate boating and being outside more in my “job” side. Or figure out how to be a traveling you tuber! Hahaha- except i hate making videos.
Thank you!
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I definitely understand the desire to be outside!
When I moved from Iowa to Washington I specifically looked for work that would take me outside. I worked at a golf course for the first couple of years we were here and I loved it! I had never golfed before but really enjoy it now.
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I think it’s way better then being stuck inside an office with no windows, for sure!
Trouble is most of those jobs don’t pay as much… ugh
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- I looked it up… guess feeling of “blah” are actually “languishing”. kind of funny there is a (almost) diagnosis for it. Neither fully depressed (which I have been several times), but neither flourishing either…
"When you’re in this mental state, you may not see the point of things. It’s hard to look forward to new or positive directions in your life. You’re not necessarily feeling hopeless. You’re languishing. " (Languishing: Symptoms, Meaning, Causes, and More)
not sad, not happy, lack of purpose, lack of motivation, that whole BLAH feeling… thinking i need a life coach, or a new career mentor, or just some direction.
Having the strong urge to take over my new team, even though it’s not my place, but this “team lead” sucks ass. And i know i’m the new guy, but dam it’s hard not to just spin my wheels and watch this disaster. So maybe i need to find other avenues for my motivation (or lack there of) to use my skills.
Or find things outside of work. Don’t we all though? I’ve spent so many years having my career be my focus. Trying to find purpose outside of work. It’s hard. After living in so many places, knowing you are always leaving in a few year countdown- it’s been hard to get integrated, to get purpose outside of work. That belonging- usually came with drinking friends. stopping drinking has really kind of put a bit of a void there- after learning several of my “closest” friends- were really just drinking buddies.
So here I am googling - DIY life coaching. hahaha
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saw this shared on linkedin today… “you don’t need 100 self help books, you need action and discipline” & “if you are not where you want to be in life, avoid alcohol and weed at all costs”
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- Man- the house we’ve been watching finally dropped its price into our range! Then I’m researching insurance, and Holy Hell is like 5x what we pay here. WTH?! I guess fema changed their flood ratings, and X isn’t just that flat fee anymore, and the wind is rediculous because the home is older and not “gold” something. Ugh. Now, what we’ve been waiting for might still be out of our price range. We wanted to move and cut back to fun part-time jobs, not be a slave to insurance payments.
Life is just… ugh sometimes.
We want to move to a different area that’s more conducive to the boating we like to go do without taking a huge downgrade in our housing situation. I hate inflation.
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Unfortunately, I don’t think housing in Florida will get any more affordable. The more it sinks in to the ocean, and the heavier the storms get, the less likely insurance companies will even insure them in the near future. My mom works for an insurance company that is ending certain coverage in Florida and California due to climate change. It’s not worth it for them anymore. 
Then there’s banks that are starting to refuse to lend for houses in certain areas as well.
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It’s crazy, it sucks. And that new knowledge really changed our budget 
You know can’t have those corporations have then then a 1000% profit and actually pay out the money they promise from their business model. Let’s raise rates 1000% again. I was reading in reddit about a bunch of people who, in the last 3 years, same place, no claims ever having their rates raised from 500- to over 10k even in flood zone X. Ugh. America’s profit driven companies suck sometimes. Can you imaging that happening to someone retired with fixed income! Wow.
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So far our beach community is not going through any of that, but I’m sure it’s coming. My realtor friend said she showed some houses to a guy and after a couple he told her he thinks they are going to look somewhere else that isn’t at sea level. We’ve also been looking a little bit in land. We love it here, but we have to be practical.
Add to the insurance costs, FL is one of the states gaining population. Essentially the entire sunbelt is growing and the snowbelt is shrinking.
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That’s definitely a trend that people are still moving to the coasts even with the costs and weather. I obviously moved away from the snow to a coast also.
Yeah. Maybe driving 20+ minutes to the beach after all! They do say sea level is rising… ugh
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And teleworking (instead of just retirement) is making that very true!
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