We’ve lived all over most of the country by the coast for work and love it best below I-10 
So trying to find the "where we want to move & live, instead of work telling us where to live"spot.
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- Got up early today to do a mini day trip to see the “famous” bluebonnets… fun back country drives! And lots to look at, long horns, horses, home of bluebell ice cream, lots of ranches and crazy estate houses!
Doubtful this would have all happened if still drinking on the weekends…
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Which is just another reason why we bought the top of a mountain.
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I’m jealous!
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I’m really happy to have found your journal! You’re giving me hope and inspiration, all of you on here! Tomorrow will be day 4 for me! Woohoo.
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Welcome! Congrats on 4 days! That first 2 weeks is the hardest. Plenty of tools to help you in your journey though! Just stick with it- it is better on the other side 
Glad you find it interesting. Just my random musings of the mind… i find it helpful to keep it all in one spot- so it’s easy to look back and remind myself why I’m doing this.
In the NY Daily News this morning, “Why I finally had to sever my ties with alcohol: Alcohol Awareness Month is the time to break addictions and try to get sober” a woman explains why she decided to start her sober journey and why this is the perfect time to do it (
Why I finally had to sever my ties with alcohol: Alcohol Awareness Month is the time to break addictions and try to get sober – New York Daily News)
I’m glad articles like this are getting on the main pages. I am reminded of this relatively often due to my neighbors, they travel quite a bit, so I don’t see them as often. We met up for dinner the other night, but they had already been out all day- and were a bit tipsy. It really gets old having to answer the same questions and have the same conversations each time we see them. I know part of it is being tipsy, part of it is alcohol memory.
I know I was never really paying attention when I was drinking. I was just out having a good time. Did I care about my people? Yes, I thought so. But looking back on it, do I remember many of the conversations, or their significant life events, milestones etc? Not really. I have lots of cloudy events, and drinking friends. Not many real friends. There are a few that have stuck around through the moves, and the life changes. But not as many as I thought when we were going out all the time.
Now, looking back- it seems as though drinking (or using other substances) is really selfish. It’s only about you- you trying to escape some pain, deal with an issue, vent about your problem, numb, hide, run away. You aren’t involved with your life, you are a passerby. You don’t even have the time or energy to achieve your own goals. Well- scratch that- maybe you do, you could be a high-performer (I think I was), but I bet you would attain those goals a lot faster, and have clearer direction, if you didn’t cloud your brain on the regular.
I see that couple, my friends, through a different lens now. I see their drinking days, restaurant hopping, as repetitive. They are stuck in a cycle, they aren’t experiencing life, they aren’t growing, they aren’t doing anything to make themselves better. Just rinse and repeat. Which is fine, I guess. It just looks boring.
Removing myself away from alcohol has opened up a whole new awareness. If people need the trigger to open that door to walk away because of the name of the month, do it. Do whatever you need to do to get moving away. Your life, your family, your (real) friends will thank you. You will get that drive, get that courage to grow, and get that knowledge to make yourself better. You will thank yourself.
880 days/ 2.5 years/ 29 months
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I’m out of likes, but thank you for this post. It rings so true.
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Love your post. So much resonates for me. Stuck in that cycle for such a long time.
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I stumbled across this happiness calendar and thought I might be good to keep handy. So many times we get focused on the disgruntling things (or maybe that is just me- hahaha) that it can be hard to see the simple pleasures, enjoy your people, appreciate your time and just be happy.
The stress of work, family, bills, random drama can overtake a day. And I think that is why many of us turned to the bottle. The bottle (or vice of choice) numbed that drama for us; but it didn’t fix the perspective of our brain in the long term. So we kept turning to that addictive release.
I have to remind myself of that sometimes. The booze is gone now, but I still have to make sure I keep my head clear otherwise that angst, anger, irritation etc can get overwhelming. The toils of life don’t stop; but building out tools to deal with them is the learning lesson.
So- introduce the happiness calendar. One reminder for the day to take care of yourself and realize the toils are not insurmountable. You can deal with them yourself with your tools and let your vices stay far away.
“Be patient and tough, someday this pain will be useful” (from my app today)
910.5 // 2.5 yrs
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Hey there, sober sis! Good to “see” you!
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You too!
Hope you are doing well!
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921.34 “the past cannot be changed the future is in our power”, app this morning.
I think we’re moving! Scary. Our job aren’t looking like they will transfer, but that’s OK. We’re looking at doing different stuff anyway. I’ve been messing around with some different ideas to make money. Who knows if any will work… there’s so many options! Focusing can be hard! I did go down a rabbit hole of making a mocktail book. But then it looks like the take home is relatively poor… so not sure I’ll go through with it- although i think i will to test the process. We’ll see!
I need to sign up for some other courses for other fields. All i know is being stuck at a computer for 8 hrs a day for someone else goals is soul sucking and I’m over it!
As opposed to a couple years ago when i drank myself into depression over a bad work situation. This time, I’m trying other ideas. So glad I’m not boozing away my life.
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Do you work at a small company and afraid HR might find out that you used counseling services?
Or is it that you would have to take off work?
Hi there. I’ve used counseling on and off over the years as trauma pops up it’s nasty teeth. holding steady right now though 
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“You can never cross the ocean unless you have courage to lose sight of the shore”
This quote on my tracker today really hits. We are doing it, we are moving to FL. In the last month or so we found and closed on a house. It’s scary- this is the first move we’re doing without jobs on the other side, or having the military move us in over 22 years.
There lots of downgrades on the house from where we are at (older, not on the water). But I’m hoping the upgrades of the area will even it out (cleaner water, cleaner beaches, smaller city, no refineries). We’re trying to balance on just our retirements, and looking for “fun” jobs. Not jobs where I’m tied to a computer screen 8 -9 hours a day. Stuff like working on the water, driving boats, maybe realtor or insurance adjusting. These past couple years of real world management jobs have really sucked the life out of me. I had so much more freedom in the military (which sounds odd- I know), I really miss it. I’m not really sure how it will all pan out- and I’m scared “shipless”.
So part of the courage to take this on, started back in 2020, when my life really came to an edge, a horrible break-down that had been building for years. The cycle of stress, drinking, stress, drinking and it never getting better. Courage to face the mirage of having a good time, only to feel absolutely horrible for days afterwards. The mirage of having good friends, only to find out you were shallow drinking buddies. Finding the courage to post in this group to share my struggles, finding the courage to be different from my crowd and drink seltzer water, the be the DD and actually not drink, finding the courage to go to the doctor and admit I needed help, finding the courage to tell my boss that I couldn’t deal with the anxiety of search and rescue failures anymore, finding the courage to put in my retirement letter and walk away from what I loved for a long, long time. Finding the courage to stay sober in just THIS moment (even the ones where I swear I had white knuckles).
Now, my autopilot is vastly different. For some reason I wake up early ready to take on the day (and way earlier then I ever thought possible without being grumpy)! I want to eat better and cook good food, I want to go to sleep and get good rest. I want to workout and walk the dog. I want to do different things (not the same rinse, repeat cycle of our drinking friends). I have way fewer lost days to migraines and worshiping the porcelain god. I take on those daunting projects I put off for years like organizing, painting, refreshing furniture, building shelving etc.
Yes- being tied to the computer for work sucks the life out of me, but I have the clear head to come up with new solutions and find ways to make positive change. I’m not tied to the hamster wheel. I have the courage and power to make the changes.
So I may not post as often as I should, or used to. But I try to at least do a monthly check-in to help me remember my past and keep my focus so that Damon (my drinking demon) doesn’t slip back in and drag me back into that dark hole of depression, anxiety and hopelessness.
I hope you have the courage to join me on another Happy Sober Day!
(https://www.my12stepstore.com/media/CogratsODATcard.jpg)
Check in on my apps for the day… 942 days, 51% to 5 years, $6730 saved, 37 days life regained, 2692 average drinks skipped, 50% less risk of stoke, 25% less risk of cancer.
(These numbers were based on the averages that I estimate for every week at the time I (re)started (again) trying to step away from booze).
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Awesome! That sounds great and a lot of it hits home. Good luck!
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Thank you! We’re hoping🤞
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- At our “having people over for the last weekend” at the house, one of the women wasn’t drinking (i only met them once a long time ago - came with other regular friends). I asked her if she wanted something, and she said no, she doesn’t drink… I was like, no, I mean, I have lots on NA stuff. She lit up!
Guess she stopped drinking recently because it makes her really sick afterwards - sometimes, for a few days. It sounded similar to the reaction I was having (but kept ignoring for too many years…) she said it’s really uncomfortable being the only one not drinking. I shared some stuff with her and showed her some of the NA options. She seemed appreciative and asked how long ago i stopped.
Kinda wish I knew this earlier - it would have been nice to have a sober person in the neighborhood. Now I’m leaving. But at least she knows it’s possible to have a party and stay sober for a few years if she wants to.
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I really love your check in posts, Beachy. I too am no longer willing to live the life I once lived. You seem to be on a very good path and taking things one day at a time.
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