Love reading about your life progress and change. Today is Day 850 for me and I joined a few months after you. You mention retirement so we are probably in the same age-group. Or, you are retiring earlier than me…because, like EVERYONE is. But that’s OK. Like you, I am eyeing Florida for retirement. I have a son in Jax and one in Fort Pierce. My sister is in SW Florida. I will be looking forward to hearing about your (sober) adventures in your new location.
1 Like
Congrats @Mbwoman! That’s huge! Possibly 
Hoping to have some fun. Going to have to be a little more assertive to find friends in the area since there’s no work place to rely on. But we’ll figure it out. I find some beach cleanups and turtle rescue stuff i might try. 
1 Like
Oh wow! Congrats on moving to Florida!! We were there for 7 years out by Flagler Beach (northeast side). Was beautiful!! Great bicycling opportunities in the state, I miss that in the mountains of NC!!
Enjoy the endless summer!!
Sounds great!! Keep me/us up to date.
1 Like
Thank you! We both lived in Miami and St pete area before (about 6 years total) and loved it. Texas was nice, but we still wanted to come back- so we jumped!
1 Like
- So my plans didn’t go, well according to plan. The amount of hiccups that happened on this move are a pretty long list. Throw a new job, earlier then expected travel to Philly work trip (2 days after driving the truck to FL) on it also!
I can honestly say that I’m so glad I’m not leaning on alcohol right now. If I was, like I used to, I would probably be super irritated or depressed.
We didn’t have enough room on the truck, had to find another truck and driver (thankfully a relative was off work). We changed last night plans- I missed goodbyes and accidentally left a few things at the house.
This new place was a rental for several years, the yard (is all weeds)and pool (a lovely green color when we arrived) are a shambles. The million switches on the walls don’t make sense, many of them we can’t seem to figure out what they do. The popcorn removers (painters) left the place a mess when we showed up, ceiling paint all over the walls, floors a wreck, dust and popcorn left in all the lights etc.
While weeding the front garden yesterday I accidentally scared 3 baby birds out of a nest while trying to figure out what kind of bushes/ trees are in the yard & had to run around trying to catch and return them to the nest.
One neighbor said we have fruit trees but they tasted like poison. No curtains anywhere, the A/C quit (thankfully that was a quick repair) and of course while meeting a couple neighbors, everyone is like, “you have a lot of work ahead of you… they knew how to make money… they never did any thing to that place… etc etc…”
I think in my old life I might have lost it by now. I had no resilience left before. My body was in a try to deal, drink, rinse and repeat cycle. I would have probably cried and had a few major headaches by now. So I’m happy to say, 10 days in we finally got curtains in the bedroom up yesterday. I got a good night’s rest, I’m sitting on my patio enjoying learning what critters we have in the yard (so far, cardinals, Bluejays, lots of frogs and dragon flys). And happy that I don’t have neighbors 15’ away hearing every word on my patio. We have some peace and quiet, backed up to a forest, room for the dog, blue water and white beaches nearby. Hoping to get some contacts going soon for our business ideas.
4 Likes
I love this share! You are going to turn the place around and make it your own. ODAAT!
3 Likes
Reading all the challenges you overcame sober is very inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
I wish you the best on making your house a home. Nothing better than having blue water and a beach near by for serenity and peace.
2 Likes
Thanks Lisa! I’m trying, but the list of fix/replace is getting longer by the day. Ugh. We’ll get there. Had a mini meltdown today. Another one of the blinds busted.
Just trying to stay focused and see the brightside and know all these things are easy, even though there’s a lot.
1 Like
I recently moved so I can relate. Many mini meltdowns along the way for me. I’m still unpacking and trying to make our new place a home. It’s a very slow process but I’ll get there eventually and you will too. Sending love and light your way.
Thanks lisa! It feels like never ending boxes 
But we’ll get there!
1 Like
- Work trip with a new team… somehow, I navigated two nights of dinner with them… one being at a brewery!
It was kind of awkward, but I just own it now. I worked with some of them before retiring from the military. That dinner/ drinks culture is strong when in the road… it’s OK. This is the new me.
3 Likes
I was feeling pretty down this morning. My husband didn’t listen to me yesterday and was rude (after drinking all day at the beach) and damaged our boat and trailer… and today is my dad’s birthday. Which always makes me kinda sad. He passed away from alcoholism when i was 17. It always hurts thinking about it. So between being mad and sad i was pretty down. I’m getting through. Figured I’d post… and saw it was day 1000. So that helps me remember why I’m trying to stick to my resolve. I’m better when I’m not drinking. Even if the people around me suck sometimes. Yes, he apologized.
11 Likes
Congratulations on 1000 days! That’s huge! 
I’m glad you were able to take a moment out and acknowledge your amazing progress. 
3 Likes
Ugh! I’m sorry that your day was challenging, but you didn’t drink! Congrats on 1000!
1 Like
Thanks lady! Seeing that did help change my perspective for the day… Hope you are having a good day!
2 Likes
True! Hard couple days though! But we’ve all had worse i guess.
Thank you! Hope you are well!
2 Likes
I did some counselling in 2018. Even though I am still struggling (and starting counselling again this week) the best thing I got from those sessions was, regardless of how hard it is, to stop lying about my alcohol.
I usually drink wine, my wife too, although occasionally she likes Bacardi. I hate the stuff. Well at least when I’m sober. When I’m drunk and my wine’s all gone, anything is fair game. She’s sensible with it, having just a couple before putting the bottle back in the cupboard. I’d still be drinking wine when she decides to go to bed. When my wine is gone I’ll have a few Barcadis. Initially she’d see the greatly reduced level in the bottle the next day and be angry with me for drinking it, which I would stupidly deny. So after that I’d top it up from the tap to ensure the leve was the same. She knew of course.
This was just one of the crazy deceptions I sank to before counselling.
After that, my alcoholo habits are still pretty bad, but I have found the strength to be totally upfront about it and always come clean when I have finished off my wife’s drinks, or ordered more for delivery after she’s gone to bed.
What’s the point of this?
For me personally, the discomfort and shame of owning up has proved a good deterrent. Now, when I’m thinking of doing anything like this, I try really hard (and it is hard behind the mist of a drunken haze but most of the time I manage it) to visualise that shame and embarrassment of owning up the next day. More often than not it’s enough to persuade me to either go to bed or at least make a coffee or something to eat. Now I would come on here for some strength I think.
It’s only a small step, but I honestly believe that, despite still drinking in the last 5 years since counselling, it has proved a positive one that I can hopefully add to when I resume counselling this week.
1 Like