I really love this and appreciate you sharing itā¦and so eloquently and thoughtfully!! I have the same tendenciesā¦so this will give me more to meditate on coming into the new year.
2 Likes
This whole equanimity thing is giving me much to rethinkā¦
Sounds great! My attempts at these, though, have felt so much like Iām in a fitting room, trying them on as if they are clothes I could buy. Reaching for something external (sound familiar?) to compensate for my deficits. They havenāt stuck.
So, Iāve been turning to the pros for help unpacking this. A few gems:
āLetting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all.ā
Thereās a lot to sit with here.
I do know this: I could not be here, where I am today - walking away from the fitting room - without embracing my truth, that I need recovery on the daily.
Grateful. 
10 Likes
Great post. Love the Pocket Pema! Filled with gems. 
3 Likes
Sitting in this tonight.
from āThe Pocket Pema Chodron (Shambhala Pocket Classics)ā by Pema Chƶdrƶn -
āMeditation practice isnāt about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. Itās about befriending who we are already.ā
8 Likes
Hey @Bobbyw, I saw your question on another thread. 
Hereās some info for you and anyone else who is interested.
If you click on your time zone, youāll find a list of online meetings. Thereās also a tab for in-person meetings.
And hereās more info about Recovery Dharma, including links to the book (pdf or audio).
5 Likes
I am watching a coworker struggle, life just isnt āgoing her wayā. She asked how I always seem so content (she has obviously never read my venting hereā¦lol)ā¦and I pulled this out
from āThe Pocket Pema Chodron (Shambhala Pocket Classics)ā by Pema Chƶdrƶn -
āWE can learn to rejoice in even the smallest blessings our life holds. It is easy to miss our own good fortune; often happiness comes in ways we donāt even notice.ā
And I needed to hear it again myself.
9 Likes
One of those days that every time I turned around, I didnt feel like I was measuring upā¦
This is what I turned tooā¦and with this, I will sit
from āThe Pocket Pema Chodron (Shambhala Pocket Classics)ā by Pema Chƶdrƶn -
āREMIND yourself, in whatever way is personally meaningful, that it is not in your best interest to reinforce thoughts and feelings of unworthiness.ā
8 Likes
I needed to read this today. Day 2 back at my desk after 10 days away from it. I realized during the break just how much free-rein I give my inner critic (a first class asshole) when Iām working. No censoring whatsoever. Some days I feel like thereās a loudspeaker narrating my inadequacy, my every insufficient move.
Your quote reminded me of this:
āMost of us have been conditioned to be our own harshest critic from early on, especially during our fixations on substances and behaviours. We carry the shadow of that judge with us, even as we seek recovery, giving ourselves negative feedback and scrutinizing every effort we make, holding ourselves to impossible standards of perfection. Letting go of that inner critic allows us to be mindful in the present of the efforts we are making, mindful of the compassion and lovingkindness weāre learning to make a part of our practice and our lives.ā (p.45)
If it gets bad, I can even beat myself up for beating myself up. But this is a choice, and I need to remind myself I can choose otherwise. Thank you for this.
5 Likes
(On keeping with the theme of gentleness for oneself):
āIn meditation we discover our inherent restlessness. Sometimes we get up and leave. Sometimes we sit there but our bodies wiggle and squirm and our minds go far away. This can be so uncomfortable that we feel itās impossible to stay. Yet this feeling can teach us not just about ourselves but also about what it is to be human. All of us derive security and comfort from the imaginary world of memories and fantasies and plans. We really donāt want to stay with the nakedness of our present experience. It goes against the grain to stay present. These are the times when only gentleness and a sense of humor can give us the strength to settle down.ā
~Pema Chƶdrƶn
(From her book The Places That Scare Us)
5 Likes
Sigh. I was just having a look on the meetings available. I am happy I can easily see them in outlook when I select it. Yet, the first and last time I was asked to speak. I cannot. I just want to listen. But the groups seem to be too small to be overseen. Sigh. Ahhh.
4 Likes
Hey friend! I joined a few different meetings online before I found one that I would call āhome groupā (in my old hometown - 8hrs away). We have 3 meetings a week - all online, and one is hybrid - in-person for those who live in town and online for those of us afar - spread out around North America. Especially at the hybrid mtg - there can 15 in person and 15 online, or 8 people total. No rhyme or reason. No matter which meeting I joined, you can always keep your camera off, put ājust listeningā beside your name, or write in the chat that you prefer not to speak.
Itās always a balance - some people are hesitant to speak up unless they are invited to, like I was at first. The invitation to speak I think is only meant to make you feel comfortable to do so. At the same time, if youāre not, it should be just fine to type that into the chat and leave your camera off.
Of course - in saying all that, I donāt mean to minimize if your experience was not a positive one! It might be a bit like TS, in that it takes us all a little while to find our threads/grooves, how much we share/donāt, etc. In the end, we each get to find what works best for our recovery and leave the rest, hey?
3 Likes
Thank you Emm. Itās a good idea to put it behind my name. Iāll try it next time. 
4 Likes
I discovered something very poignant this evening about craving, this time from a scientific perspective. You may know it already but I thought Iād shareā¦.
When we ācraveā it is our mind desiring a dopamine hit. Whatever our addiction might be, just the thought of taking that drink or hit or whatever, creates dopamine in the brain and floods our physiology. Dopamine makes us happy and is similar to endorphins.
With this knowledge and when I next crave, Iāll remind myself of this and be present with the dopamine elevation, sit with it and then instead choose to pursue increasing my endorphins in that moment - by eating, exercising, connecting, being creative or doing something new. These also increase dopamine / endorphin levels.
It was a bit of an āaha momentā discovering thatā¦
10 Likes
Its a great aha moment!!
6 Likes
Yes!!! This is such a huge realizationā¦and I remember thinking, why didnāt I ever get it before. It seems so simple, but it was knowledge definitely out of reach for me, until it wasnāt.
5 Likes
āIt seems so simple, but it was knowledge definitely out of reach for me, until it wasnāt.ā Youāve summed it up perfectly! Every step of the journey has brought me to this point, and it feels as though Iām finally connecting absolutely everything - the trauma, the healing, the reasons why, the solutions - and being grateful for it all 
4 Likes
Yes to thisā¦that moment when it makes sense, the fog lifts and you can finally see the path. 
2 Likes
So beautifully said and always good to see you.
2 Likes
This thread might intresr youā¦i havent kept up with it as I had planned tooā¦butā¦here it is
2 Likes