My way from day one to present ❤️

Good for you. I love love loved narcissistic men. What I discovered was that the answer to why lies within, specifically our incredibly false believe that we aren’t worthy. Lots of shadow and inner child “work” helped me, but it took a bit of effort and time.

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Not to get too grand but I think this is a universal truth. I think realizing that everyone has worth and that we are all struggling is the first step to compassion for ourselves and for others. You have worth and you are worthy. :heart:

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This crossed my mind some days ago, it’s a very interesting question:
Are you able to listen to someone?

I wasn’t, but I’m now aware of that and I’m getting better :blush:

I used to listen first, for example a problem someone has, but then telling the person about me and that I know this problem and how I solved it.
Not good.
Listening to someone means only listening.
They don’t want your experience and how you solved it. If they wanna know they’ll ask.
Sometimes others only want us to listen to them.
:heart:

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I 100% get this, ive been working on this lately too and im finding people gravitating toward me more which is great xx

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This is a tough one but I want to get it out.
For almost my whole life I struggled with one thing, a feeling of not belonging here.
Not here on the Forum, or a town, a feeling of not belonging here on this planet.
It was like I’m an Alien, I felt homesick for a place far away. I never wanted to fit in, I liked it to point out that this here is not my place and that there is no benefit in me being here.
I didn’t even like other people because, well look at the world and what we do.
Yes, there are people who behave awful. Who don’t give a damn.
But there are also people who care, for the environment and for other people.
I tried to focus on them instead of the awful ones. And this really flipped a switch.
I worked on the way how I see my surroundings.
I still have bad days when everyone overwhelms me and when I really don’t like people, but most of the time I like them.
I like being here and I know I belong here, this is my place.
It’s not as dark and evil as I thought in the past.
I really like this change of mindset and I’m curious what will happen next.
:heart::smiling_face:

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A good read, when you scroll down there is alcohol addiction specified, alcohol related liver disease and more.
How an Addicted Brain Works > News > Yale Medicine.

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I’m taking Escitaloprame since some months now and since increasing my dosage I can feel a difference.
I like to socialize more now. I enjoyed the fire safety training we had last Friday and Wednesday next week I’ll join a meeting where we talk about health, diet, how to create healthy freetime. And there will be food :yum:
Today I was able to stand on a chair to fix a calendar hanging above me. Usually I wouldn’t do that because I always was afraid to fall.
It’s even easier to talk to patients on the phone.
I don’t over-analyze everything and everyone and the depressed state I used to have after ovulation until my bleeding starts, is gone.
Not everything is going perfect, there are set backs, there still is struggling. But way less!
There is more life now :heart:

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Another update :blush:
Today I remembered how afraid I was to take an antidepressant.
I was afraid of possible side effects like being completely numb, gaining weight, etc. Nothing happened! I’m still me.
The main thing that changed was my thinking. I used to see many things very negatively, that’s gone. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns lol, but I’m a much more optimistic person now.
But the most important thing I realized is: I had no panic attack since the meds started working.
If you’re afraid to go to your Dr. and ask for medical help: go and ask! Sure, it could be that you need more time to find your medication, the one that works for you. But still, you made another step.
Keep on fighting friends!
:heart:

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How lovely to read this love. So grateful for all the benefits and growth you are expecting in sobriety :people_hugging:

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Another day, another check in :blush:
I learned some things, or better re-learned them.
Healing isn’t linear. There are ups and downs. We all have them. My main goal always was to wait for that time when all is good, when I’m satisfied with everything surrounding me. Guess what? That day will never come. Because Life. Ups and downs. We tend to hunt that imaginary day that’s somewhere in the future and forget that the present is the most important time we have.
So don’t punish yourself too hard if you didn’t achieve your goal today. Maybe the goal is too big for you? Maybe separate it into tiny pieces? Those are easier to achive :kissing_heart:

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I’m starting to learn to enjoy the journey.

I read that the other day somewhere in the myriad of quit lit and al-anon books I read.
:pray:t2::heart:

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That’s great advice and a lovely lesson learned.

I needed this reminder as i tend to think that if I get caught up then I’ll have time to rest but work never ceases and tiredness pipes on. So have to find that balance.

Always so lovely to see you pop up on TS :people_hugging::heart:

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This is very true. Thank you for the reminder :star:

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