Today marks three weeks free of alcohol and cigarettes. I am sleeping a lot better (although still not without disturbance) and while I still struggle with anxiety, it is not nearly as bad as it was when I was blacking out and chain-smoking every weekend. I have been hitting it hard in the gym, too, which has been a huge revelation for me. I have always been active, but I’ve never been active while not drinking. I have seen more progress in the last three weeks than I remember seeing in months of working out and then drinking. It is so encouraging it makes me never want to touch the stuff again. And I don’t get winded as easily or as often now that I’m not smoking. I have always loved running, and now I enjoy it so much more.
I have a big birthday party coming up this Friday and I have to admit I am a little nervous about it. It is for one of my oldest friends and she and I have known each other since we were 15 (so 15 years) and we have done a lot of serious partying together, drugs and drinking and all kinds of shit. We almost always blacked out when we would go to bars together and there are plenty of nights we spent together about which we remember very little. I don’t think she will ever outgrow it, and I can already see how my sobriety has affected our relationship. She has mostly been supportive of my newfound sobriety, but I worry she will try to pressure me into drinking once she gets drunk. I am taking my own nonalcoholic champagne with me so that I will have something to drink. And I am taking my best friend with me for support. She has gone through her own sober journey and is doing well and stays within her limits.
How do you all manage to stay sober in an environment within which you used to get totally hammered?
I haven’t faced this situation yet, but I will soon in the future. I suppose just accept it will be different for now. It will take practice to be in such situations again as we will need to find new ways to enjoy them. I plan on just thinking about how proud I will be getting into bed thst night and waking the next morning feeling amazing…and I’m going to make sure I have ingredients for a super fancy breakfast that I will really enjoy rather than food just to ease a hangover. Good luck!
I can really relate to this - I had very similar worries when I went to my first social with my old partying crowd.
First, am gonna link to some threads with some helpful advice on how to handle boozy situations sober, would recommend spending some time reading through them!
For me, going with a non-alcoholic friend, planning my drinks, having a plan to leave early and a reason to get up early the next morning were all key. Something I found interesting was how many people left before me and how many people actually drank a lot less than I used to. There were a few people there really getting on it but that started later, and I was getting tired by then. It was weird not be part of the last one standing crew but I had such a good evening. I was able to connect with people I hadn’t seen for ages and I could remember it all when I woke up fresh and hangover free!
I imagine there will be others who will carry on partying into the night. Honestly if your friend is a blackout drinker they probably won’t remember when you leave! When you were getting wasted did you notice all the people that weren’t there? Or were you more interested in keeping your buzz going? If you’re worried about it you could always give them a heads up that you’ll probably get going early, but offer to celebrate with them another time another way e.g. brunch, cinema, something active, something pampering… Whatever your vibe is.
Great idea taking someone with you and your own champagne ! Just stay strong , plan an early morning exercise the next day to focus your mind . The benefits are too good to lose
