Yes, one day at a time, we can’t predict the future!
What’s happening with your back?
Oh I pulled it like 6 weeks ago and it’s not fixed yet. Went to the orthopedist who misheard six as two apparently cause he kept saying it’s only been a few weeks. So he said wait a few weeks and if it’s not better, come back. But if it’s still not ok in like two weeks, I’m gonna go to my primary care cause like this guy just doesn’t get it.
I remember you saying about it a while ago. Hmmph that’s annoying. Good idea to try someone else if you don’t get anywhere!
Yeah. My GP has been really good. She was the first one I saw and she said like wait two weeks then we’ll see if it’s getting worse, cause it seems like a pull or a strain.
I liked the second guy I had, who works in the same practice. He said he had no reason to think it was anything other than a pull but he’d refer me to an orthopedist. And he Said duh, you have to stop rowing or it won’t get better lol.
The orthopedist was ughhh. I’m going to see my doctor again, who will probs just prescribe pt or order an x-ray, but still…
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I had really bad memories in group therapy today. It’s like a flashback, but I still know where I am, it’s just that the memories come up and I can’t stop them. I hate this. So much. And I couldn’t say anything about it. I’m gonna try to actually tell them at least what triggered it, which was a girl talking about a guy she met with the same name as the guy who abused me. I wanna tell them that and I wanna tell them that I get bad memories. I kinda wanna write out what to say and read it if I need to.
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Great idea to write down what you want to say. Help order your thoughts a bit. When’s the next group therapy session?
Next week. On Wednesday.
Oh good, not too long to wait then. Have you shared anything with them before?
I couldn’t talk. And yeah, I have shared some. But it’s super hard and it’s only like once every few months that I can actually make myself talk.
You’ve got to do things in the way that works for you and just keep plugging away at the things you want to work on. For now though talking every few months is probably better than not talking at all…?
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Yeah. I’m working on it. Yeah, it’s definitely better than no talking😆
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Welp. The starving myself is back. I can tell it’s starting. But its better than the alternatives.
Had started building any healthy patterns of eating?
Working on it. I always either eat way too much junk or not enough food at all. I need to try and eat a healthy amount of good food.
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My friend called me. By accident
But I texted and we said hey and checked in a tiny bit. Then he stopped responding. Ah well. Whatever.
We haven’t talked in a while, but ah well.
Hey there 
I hope youre doing well. You said you like baking…? I’m a chef and would happily talk with you no end about baking and cooking Helps me with my sobriety every day. Atb
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I’m doing okish.
I love to bake. I’m trying to find some healthier cake recipes rn, cause I’m supposed to be eating better😆 oh yeah. Definitely a great stress reliever. So what kind of restaurant do you work in?
Im going to a church tomorrow. we’ll see if I like it. I’m still deciding what to wear lol. I’m excited and nervous and like ahhh
There are a lot of ways to make it healther but in what sense? Less fat, less sugar etc? One of the best cakes I’ve ever baked was a Japanese cheesecake which essentially super superlight cake which combines the ingredients of a spongecake and a cheese cake. Also, vegan friendly cakes are incredibly healthy - its all in the technique you use I currently work in a traditional British Pub Restaurant - my favourite kind as its real homely comforting food with the hustle bustle of a pro kitchen but ive tried my hand at quite a few styles. ‘Pastry’ is one of the hardest to master but if you enjoy it, its a pleasure to learn
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I am trying to go sugar free and am determined to find a good sweet treat. No free sugars so no honey etc. I like oats with peanut butter/coconut oil/nuts/dates/sultanas but it’s more like an energy bar than a cake.
Saw this which I thought looks good. Not sure what rice syrup is though, might try using blended dates in the filling and maybe sultanas in the base.