Yea and it’s finding the good food you like isn’t it… So easy to fall into the habit of eating junk! Have you got any favourite recipes or anything?
How did church go - is that the one where you weren’t sure how they’d deal with gender/sexuality identity, or another one? Or am I completely making that up?! 
And how’s your back?
@anon84416494
Help! I always overbake cookies. They are always dunkers. They just don’t look done in the oven to me, so I cook them way too long. Your advice would be appreciated.
Hi Phoebe 
There’s only a couple of reasons why that can be
Thankfully, with cookie dough its not too much of a problem if you open your oven as youre not looking for it to rise; just dont keep opening it time and time again because theyll never get up to temp and theyll either crumble from air drying them out or theyll just never cook.
Also when you cook anything, you’re aiming for about 85-90% in the oven. The temperature will continue to rise once youre out of the oven so when your cookies have got to temp and are firm to touch (you can also pierce it with the tip of a knife and if there is residue, keep cooking)let them finish themselves in dry air.
Temperature differs depending on where you are in the oven; a great way to see this is with a souffle. If youve ever cooked one by itself and its not central, the hotter side will be higher. The same applys to cookies - keep them evenly spaced and regulate your temperature.
Its rectifiable before baking but if your half way through and you see moisture on the outside or its a strange colour or its not taking a solid form…youve got too much butter!
Hold it on your spoon, turn it upside down. If it sticks and hangs, your dough is perfect.
These will really be the main causes but if its none of these, go back to your recipe and tweak around with it.
Let me know how you get on
I mostly use whole wheat flour and like Earthbutter instead of butter and stuff like that. Little things.
Hey cool! Fun place to work?
Yeah. Church was good. I went to a local university’s church and it was great. They were really smart and had great sermons.
My back still stinks lol😆 ah well.
You should seriously go do a pastry course - I really think you’d rock it!
Yeah, its a great place to work. Is it an avenue you’re considering?
Oh no bad news about your back but glad you enjoyed church! Are you planning on going regularly?
@anon84416494 I don’t think my oven starts up to temp. Ok, ok, yes, I open it. Thx for the professional advice. Sharing what you’re good at is awesome.
What do you mean; doesnt start up to temp?
Yeah try to keep it closed as long as possible Have you ever tried to make chewie cookies? Guarantee you, you’ll never go back!
@anon84416494. I mean stay at the temperature. I turned the oven off in the middle of the bake and immediately set the temp back to 375. It displayed that it was only 355. I didn’t open it to do that.
These r more chewie than my normal bake.
Hey @Kakimime1 I just read this thread in one go just now. Wanna know something cool I noticed? From my perspective, it seems like over time, since the beginning of this thread, even though you still have really tough stuff to deal with all the time, you seem like you’re getting through it better and better each time! It really seems like your inner strength is coming out more and more. It’s inspiring to me.
I’m so so glad that it has been helpful to come here and vent, and that people have been here to support you throughout this part of your life.
Nope, lol. It’s just for fun and I don’t really want to change that lol.
If I’m able to, yeah. But I’m gonna visit a few other churches just to see.
Wow, thank you. I mean I don’t feel that at all. I mean sometimes I do, but mostly I just feel like crap. And my whole self hating thing is back. Idk what triggered it, but it’s back and I feel worthless and awful. But who cares? No one. Cause I’m worthless and no one should care about worthless stuff.
But yes, everyone’s been awesome and helpful.
I don’t go to church but know a couple of people who do and I think something that is really great about it is the community, building up connections with people. Obviously it takes time to really get to know people on an individual level but just being part of a group with positive stuff going on sounds really nice!
And you know the stuff about feeling worthless… I think the fact you said ‘its back’ means that you don’t always feel worthless. And the fact that you don’t always feel worthless means you won’t always feel worthless. I’m not saying that to devalue how you’re feeling right now - it’s really shitty to feel like that hugs - but just as a reminder that this too shall pass 
️
Something that I keep hearing in addict recovery journeys is the struggle to love yourself and how it feels impossible to feel good when you can’t experience love. For some people they have some sort of awakening that happens quickly, but in general I keep hearing that it’s a process that takes time and intent and effort. And in the meantime, let other people love you when you feel incapable of loving yourself <3
I know it’ll pass. But it keeps coming back. Every week when I don’t talk in group. Whatever. Doesn’t matter.
Today, I got a huge call-out from someone in group who was talking about how he appreciated me and how I’ve gotten better at talking and stuff and it was so sweet and amazing. But I don’t talk more. I just talk more about small things. I need to talk about big things, but I can’t. I want to, and I get ready, and then I chicken out or think other people should go first then there isn’t time, which I guess is also chickening out.
But I’ve been thinking about leaving group. I keep not talking and then leaving feeling worse and I feel bad for like a few days and then the rest of the week is me trying to get myself ready so I can talk the next week and it’s all too much and I hate this and it’s really stressing me out cause I need to talk so bad.
Sorry so much for the word vomit but I have no one else to tell this too.
Sounds like it’s really appreciated whenever you share, whether it’s small or not. And people are noticing that you’re getting better at sharing, so I would encourage you to stick it out with the group, because following your current trend, you’ll continue to get better at sharing if you give it a chance and you can just naturally become ready to share the big things eventually. In the meantime, others seem to get value from hearing you, regardless of how much you get from hearing them.
I know a bit of how you feel I think - countless times where I wanted to share something in person but it was too easy to just let other things happen instead, then I really regret not saying something.
Here’s a baby step you can do: you can share “I’ve been wanting to talk about X and it’s important to me but I’m not sure if I’m ready today.” Then people are aware you have something to talk about which might make it easier next time. Or, “I want to share about X but I need a second to see if I can find the words.” Then pause, breathe, and then either share or say “I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it today.” Many others might be struggling to share their big things too, and you might unknowingly encourage someone else with your courage.
And once you share one big thing, you’ve broken a barrier and the rest can fall like dominoes if you choose to keep sharing.
Yeah, I guess it is. Idk. I just wish after a year, I could share. But when I try, nothing comes out. Maybe it’ll just take longer? But I can really only stay in the group for another year cause of age limits.
Exactly! Then I feel so crappy for not sharing and not using the resources I have.
Huh. Interesting. Idk how I’d phrase the ‘x’ but it seems helpful. Yeah. That seems simple but it might be big and idk. I think I’ll try it. I hope it helps someone else too.
Thank you😊 I’m going to try that and I’ll also try to not be so hard on myself about sharing and let myself take the time I need. Well, I’ll try at least😆