Just keep posting here. Respond to some other recent threads. Get on the daily check in thread. That helps me. you’ll get through this Kaki. You always do. Just keep reaching out here on TS and venting.
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Yeah. When I have energy again, I’ll talk more on other threads.
Unfortunately I did partially relapse. Idk if it counts. Idk. I scratched myself and used rubber bands so I wouldn’t cut. So idk. Idk.
That’s definitely crossing a boundary. I don’t know if I would consider that a reset.
What helps me is to have my boundaries clearly written down. Some of my boundaries are middle circle. They are not acting out but are still bad and lead to loss of sobriety. If I have a question about a certain behavior counting as a relapse, I should be able to refer to my inner circle boundary sheet to get more clarification.
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I know this is easier said than done, but try not to worry about explaining it to your mum at the moment. She doesn’t get it and that sucks. It doesn’t change how you’re feeling or make it any less important.
The fact that she doesn’t understand how you’re feeling also means that she doesn’t understand how to respond in a way that is helpful to you. Try and use that perspective to not take her reaction to heart.
I know you have some healthier coping strategies than the band and scratching. You can do it 
I relate a lot to this post. I’m under a significant amount of stress in my environment, and small things are unsettling me. They look like insignificant things to other people (and sometimes they are and sometimes they aren’t), but what they can’t see is that it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back. And when we’re close to what we think our limits are, we react more intensely to threats to protect what breathing space we have left.
Also the psychiatrist thing. I need to talk to mine and it’s been about a week since I last hoped to speak with him.
I’m thinking about those song lyrics “hey, it’s an ordinary day, and it’s all your state of mind”… not to cheapen your state of mind, but the earth IS still spinning and sun still shining (somewhere at least) and furry animal kidlets being cute. Just keep breathing through today and tomorrow will get here and be a bit different from today.
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Yeah. It sucks lol. I don’t think it’s a reset, but idk.
Interesting. Yeah, that makes sense. I hadn’t thought about it like that. Thanks😊
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Yeah. You’re right. It’s just hard.
Yeah. That’s true. It’s just that she’s usually great. Shell hug me and listen and talk. And it’s awful to have this opposite reaction because it’s at an inconvenient time for her.
Yeah. I do. In the moment, it’s just hard to think of them.
Thank you.
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Omg, right?! Things seem stupid to everyone else but to me are really hard. Or it’s like you said, just the last straw. Yeah. That’s a really good way to explain it.
Oof. I saw my therapists last week, but it’s been about a month since I saw my psychiatrist for meds.
I’ve never heard that song. But I like those lyrics😊.
Omg thank you. Literally cried reading that. Just gotta push through today. Take it one day at a time.
We can do this!
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Oh, also, my mom apologized just now. But she still doesn’t understand how much it hurt me. But she will be calling my psychiatrist tomorrow, so hopefully that will pan out.
Sorry I’m so much today y’all. It’s been a rough month or two and it just all spiralled this week.
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Havw yiu tried to find other ways to vent?
Yeah. It’s just hard.
It will be hard, but remember we are here for you.
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Thank you 
So my dad’s cheating on my mom. I was looking at his phone to see if I could figure out where he was cause I couldn’t find him. I’d thought maybe my mom needed a ride or something.
I found all these messages between my 55 year old dad and various random girls, and I do mean GIRLS. Like 30 years younger than him.
And idk. Idk what to do. I could wait and look at my mom’s phone cause maybe it’s mutual and an open relationship. Or idk. Maybe she’s cheating on him too. Or I could ignore it and act like I never saw it. Or I could anonymously email my mom or tell her myself. Or I could make profiles and catch him in the act. Idk. Idk. I’m confused and my brain is coming up with the craziest, most psychotic ideas rn.
I have no idea what to do or what this means. I’m confused and sad and freaked out.
And when I see him I just get so mad. Idk.
Sorry this is long and badly written. I’m just freaked out and crying and anxious and using all my energy not to hurt myself. Plus I’m like dissociating. Idk if that’s technically what it is, but my brain basically shuts down and I feel like I’m floating above my own body and I’m not really here.
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Wow, Kaki,
This is awful.
It goes to show how our actions affect our children and those close to us.
My experience is that most wives would want to know if their husbands are up to no good. You should bring this up to your mother alone in a face to face conversation. If nothing is done, his behavior WILL continue and things will get worse.
I’m sorrry. You should never have to be put in the middle like this. But if you don’t tell her, I fear that your mother will later resent you for it.
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Hey @Kakimime1, dang tough situation for sure. Sorry you’re dealing with this right now.
My personal thoughts for you are that you may want to speak with your dad first to confirm with him what you saw. Not doubting at all, just a part of my personal “always give the benefit of the doubt first” ethic I stick to so strictly in my life. It may be good to confirm what’s going on, and give him an opportunity to tell your mom if it is as it appears.
Wishing you best strength! It’s a tough situation, but you’ve got this.
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Oof mate that’s fucking horrible.
When is your next appointment with a counsellor/therapist? This feels like the kind of thing to talk through with them to help work out what your next steps could be.
Take your time and for now, just focus on staying safe
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Yeah. I’m still just confused lol.
I think that’s true. But idk if maybe she knows, or it’s some weird kink thing between them. Idk. I just really want there to be some explanation. I’m just trying to think of every possible explanation. Idk. (Plus I don’t want to get in trouble for looking in his phone lol)
Idk. I don’t talk to him about anything and I hate when he’s mad. He gets scary. Idk. You’re probably right. I might just need some time to like let myself process before I decide. Idk. I’mma talk to my therapists and psychiatrist.
I see my psychiatrist tomorrow and my therapists on Wednesday and Friday. Yeah. I just feel dumb for looking in his phone. Like who does that? But my anxiety got the better of me. Ughhhh.
Thank you:blush:. I’ve been safe so far and I’m going to try to continue to be safe. 
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