New title: Checking in here when I need to vent or need advice

This is super random and specifically for people who have uteruses. Feel free to scroll past this if you don’t want to hear about birth control.

Have any of y’all ever used nuvaring? If so, did you have any trouble with it coming out? Mine keeps coming out several times a day, is painful to put in, and it’s really triggering me. I’ve gotten super overwhelmed and depressed, which isn’t helpful during finals prep. It is almost always painful and has been causing cramps too, that are sometimes as bad as the period cramps they’re supposed to be getting rid of. Any advice would be hugely appreciated. I’ve tried all sorts of things and nothing is helping.

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Also, I have some questions. I’ll obviously be discussing them with my therapist and doctors, but I figured I’d ask y’all too.

Have any of you been able to use substances that aren’t the one you’ve struggled with? Does that tend to end badly? Is it more of an individual decision? How do you approach it in your own life?

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Nuvaring is the same hormon birth control as the pill. You might change the hormon intake from vaginal to oral or use hormon implants, they last long and are secure. Sorry you suffer, I feel with you :pray::heartpulse:

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Yeah. The pill is really hard for me to remember to take and none have helped me in the past. My gyn said the implant, IUD, and shot weren’t good options because they could cause mood swings and they are more permanent and harder to take out. I’ll definitely be calling them on Monday.

Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate at least knowing someone can relate.

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Well, may I question why all the other methods are qualified as not good in detail? And what kind of problems the hormon intake should help with? Nuvaring contains estrogen and gestagen as nearly every pill. If your body doesn’t tolerate estrogen, there are pure gestagen products as the - I hope also in English - called “Mini-Pill” and hormon implants. If you don’t want to answer in the forum, please private message me. I would like to help you as good as I can.

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I need to vent. Read or don’t, I get it.

So I just moved back to my parents house for the summer. And now I’m remembering why I had depression in the first place. The snarkiness, the pettiness, the passive agression. And I’m going to be stuck here for like 4 months.

I keep realizing things about why I am how I am now that I’ve been living here like 12 hours. For example, my mother will often say, “Hey, are you doing schoolwork, or can you help me with something?” As if those are the only two options. As if doing something for my mental health or researching a topic that I’m interested in is less important than school and so are fine to interrupt. I realized that is a part of why I struggle to prioritize my mental health and why I struggle to do schoolwork. It’s not the only reason, but when you’re told every day that your mental health is less important than your schoolwork and less important than cleaning the dishes, you start to internalize that.

And at some point, you feel like you’re less than human. And it’s really hard. Because I can feel myself spiralling. And it’s only been like 12 hours. And I feel out of control. I know it’s my job to control my reactions. I know I can’t make them be good parents. But I don’t know how to change my reactions when they’re literally triggering my anxiety, depression, and trauma.

And I can’t just do what they say like I did when I was little. With the chronic fatigue, that would make it nearly impossible for me to do anything else. And quite possibly, doing all they say would cause me to go back to sleeping 14 hours a day. Which isn’t fun. I’m really stressed. Thanks for listening to my rant.

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Living abroad, I used to stay with my mother when I went to visit, which sometimes was for 6 weeks when the kids were little. It certainly was a trial, and I wasn’t in a bad head space then. You have my sympathies.
I can also relate to people not appreciating your mental health work. I have a day off once a week when I talk to my sponsor and do an AA meeting, but my husband always acts like I have all this time to do various chores. He really doesn’t appreciate that it is important.

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A post was merged into an existing topic: Derailment void / Off topic 2021

Well, she can think you’re doing school work while you’re doing other things :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

My relationship with my mum has changed a lot over the years. Over time I have tried to have conversations about healthy boundaries - but I mean over the course of a few years, and not until my late 20s. The thing that has helped me the most is trying to take a step back, realising that her intentions probably aren’t as bad as I sometimes feel, and letting go of some of the resistance. It’s OK if she does things that piss me off. She’s my mother after all, that’s kind of inevitable :rofl: I’m sure I do plenty to upset her. We are all just perfectly imperfect humans trying our best, doing what we can with the hand life deals us. I have got to this point by doing exactly what you are doing, working on my mental health and gaining a better understanding of myself.

I am sure 4 months seems like an eternity right now but there is an end in sight. And hopefully lots of fluffy cuddles will help get you through :hugs:

Hope you can find a way to carve out the time you need, to do what you have to do for you! Just because she doesn’t understand, doesn’t mean it’s not important :sparkling_heart:

Exactly, parents are rough.

That’s accurate. So many people don’t understand the importance of protecting mental health. Which is really frustrating.

Haha true. I just hate lying, so then I’m trying to take a break while feeling annoyed I have to lie. But it’s definitely better than saying the truth😆

Yeah, I’ve been trying to work on that with my therapist. Just trying to understand that the pain she causes isn’t intended and managing my expectations of her. Well good, I’m glad that I’m on the right path at least.

You’re right. It feels like a long time, but at least I know when it’s over. And yes, I love getting to be with our dog again!! And I’m actually working with a local shelter to find a dog that can live with me at school, which should be really nice!

Yeah, I’m going to try my best. And thank you, I needed to hear that💜

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Content Warning: Discussion of sexuality and masturbation.

So I’m having an issue. I don’t think it’s an addiction. I think it’s a side effect of a medication that is causing similar issues. So basically, I use birth control to prevent periods. But it has been making me stupid horny. So I’ve been masturbating a lot more than normal. I’ve always been what’s called grey asexual. Basically I almost never am interested in sex or masturbating. So it’s really frustrating dealing with this new feeling.

It’s also been interfering with my life. I’ve missed appointments, been late for things, been unable to pay attention, etc. It’s really frustrating and I’ve never experienced this before, so I’m not sure what to do. I feel out of control and I just feel gross. I’m stopping the medication, so I’m hoping that can help. But as of now, I am just really annoyed at my lack of self control.

Yeah, I’m starting to remember why I was depressed in suicidal a couple years back. And why it got slightly better when mine not at home life got better. And why it got 100% better when I wasn’t at home anymore.

So I’m not good with loud noises or lots of lights and sounds and stuff. And my little bitchy sibling decided to play like rock music and metal in the car on the way to the grocery store. So I had my earbuds in and everything to lower the noise. I tried to wait for a minute after they left the car to let myself cool down, but neither of them would fucking walk away. When we got in there, my sibling decided that she needed to walk with the cart, and then disappeared when I was trying to put stuff in the cart. So I got my own cart. Similar thing happened in the car on the way back.

Broke into two parts because parent came in and I wanted to make sure I could post it in case they tried to steal my phone or hit me or something. Also, I’m just venting. I know this isn’t the biggest deal in the world, but it’s what’s bugging me right now.

The little sibling was asking if I could help put stuff in the car and I said no cause I wanted to take my mask off first. And then she started ranting about how I’m not helpful and (not in front of my dad) saying how she hated that I lived here and how she was upset I was going to live here for 4 months and not three.

And then basically the rest of the car ride was them playing really loud music, and when I asked them to turn it down they turn it down like one volume level out of 37. So I played my relaxing audio really loud in my headphones. And apparently my dad was like pissed about that or something. Because he just made a comment about how the car ride was bad and it was “warfare” or something.

Anyways, when we got home, I was helping unpack the groceries. And I was labeling things that I need for recipes or just what I need. For example, part of my morning routine is to have some yogurt with a particular type of granola, and so I labeled those. But apparently because “we can get more " I shouldn’t worry about it getting eaten. Because what I’m going to do first thing in the morning is definitely drive to the store to buy what I need. In a couple minutes later, I labeled one more thing. And that was something that I needed for a recipe. And he got mad that I was labeling the chocolate chips that I had bought for the recipe I’m making. He was mad because " I already have tons of bags of those.” Except I just moved home. I don’t know that. I also don’t know what types he has, because the recipe needs a certain type. And then he got pissed and kicked everyone out.

And when I was about halfway up the stairs to get to my room, I kind of just shouted that I didn’t want to live here. And then he chased after me shouting, and got in my face. Then I screamed at the top of my lungs two or three times while he was yelling at me but they still wouldn’t go away. And I miss being the city. If I screamed there, like five people would be there in seconds to make sure I was okay. But here, your parents are allowed to traumatize you because no one sees it.

I know that my actions weren’t perfect. But I also know that I’ve explained to both of them so many times why I need certain foods and why sometimes I’m just so tired that I can’t deal with things. And I know that they just don’t care enough to try to use any of what I say to understand me or to God forbid maybe try to help their child feel better.

And I’m applying to jobs, but I haven’t gotten any period and I’m not 21, so I can’t rent places to stay in most situations anyways. So we’ll see. I seriously thought about suicide earlier. I’m not going to do it, I never will, but it’s really scary that my mind actually went there for the first time in so long. And I was just really wanting to hurt myself. But I didn’t, but still.

As of now, I am planning on cleaning out my room as much as possible, bringing my fridge from school in here, buy my own food, and keeping it all there. I am also planning on reaching out to my old boss to see if I can work for him over this summer. I am also planning on keeping an emergency go bag around and finding places where I can go if it gets too bad here. So those are my plans for now. we’ll see what happens.

My parents tried to tell me I needed to be getting up earlier. Their explanation was that I should be on the same schedule as them. I’m really proud of how I handled it though.

I patiently asked questions to try to understand why they found it important. It turned out that my mom, who started the conversation, didn’t have an actual reason. She basically then said we’ll talk about this later cause I don’t have a clear reason I want this.

I was really proud of myself for not getting angry immediately. I was a little frustrated because they were treating me like a kid as though I needed to be exactly what they wanted. But I’m glad that I didn’t let that show. And I’m glad that instead of accusing, I just asked why. I think if I can continue to keep my cool, I might at least cause them to pause before telling me to do things. Which is something.

I was talking with my therapist today, and we were talking about whether it’s worth trying to talk with them and change things, or whether I should just accept it. And I kind of came to the conclusion that I’m never going to change what they think of me or my disabilities. I may be able to talk to them and encourage them to change their actions, but they will never actually care about what I’m going through. And I need to accept that.

We were also talking about how my parents yell at me or constantly tell me to do things even when I am super fatigued. She was great. She reminded me that my experiences are valid and that I deserve to be listened to and respected. And we talked about how when they’re mad at me or not listening, I should try not to let it get to me. Which sounds great, but is a lot easier said than done. So I’m going to work on that.