Kind of random, but doesn anyone else narrate their life out loud? Like when I’m doing something hard (like taking pills) I narrate what I’m doing and why it’s helpful. I also narrate to remember what I’m doing. Like I’ll say “I need to go throw out my garbage” so I don’t forget.
Anyone else experience this?
I talk a lot with myself. I live alone. At least there is someone intelligent to answer 
no, honestly, it’s not a problem. 
Somewhere I read : it’s perfectly normal to talk with yourself or objects, no need to call someone. Only when these objects answer you…
Hi guys.
I just wanted to get some advice from you regarding my current situation.
I’m six weeks sober and 1 week off my anti psych medication. It took me 4 months to get off the medication due to withdrawal symptoms, so it was a long tough process. Because I drank A LOT of wine previously, going on 17 years, and because of the anti psychs, I put on A LOT of weight.
The first few weeks I was sober, I ate what I liked. I was feeling pretty awful so I thought Who cares.
And I even noticed some weight loss.
This last 2 weeks, I’ve been really forcing myself to eat less and less calories. Tracking them on an app. It’s like now that I’m sober, I’m ready to improve the rest of my self and I need it to happen asap. I feel incredibly impatient. And agitated that I’m not losing weight fast enough.
Does anyone know how I feel?
I’m not sure if explained it well.
Haha I love that! Makes me feel sane. Definitely happens more, now that I live alone lol, so that makes sense.
I feel that. When I stopped self harming, I felt out of control, and started having disordered eating to try to regain it. Not saying your eating or image is at all disordered, just keep an eye out for that.
Also, I get the impatience. It’s frustrating to make healthy changes and not see results to show you you’re going the right way. What I try to focus on is how I feel. That’s a more immediate indicator. When I eat healthier food, my body feels less weighed down. And after a healthy meal, I don’t want a nap, but instead feel more energized. My advice is to try and focus on the more immediate positive effects to keep you going until you can see the effects on the scale.
Also, keep in mind that losing a lot of weight too fast can make your body crash into starvation mode, causing a plateau or regain. Slow and steady wins the race! Keep reminding yourself that slow, maintainable progress is better than noneandis better than losing a ton and gaining it back.
Sorry if that was rambling. I’m tired and writing from the top of my head. I’ll try and come back to edit later if I can.
I love the complexities of diagnosis. The closes thing to what I have is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). But part of the requirements to be diagnosed are that it has to be debilitating. Which is frustrating. Because now, I’m kind of able to do things, but it’s destroying my mental health. But if I wasn’t on my medications or didn’t know how to manage it, I wouldn’t be able to function whatsoever. I had to sleep every other class in school because I couldn’t stay awake. But now a medication keeps me awake. Idk. It’s just frustrating that if you’re managing an ilness, you no longer have it.
Sorry, just frustrated and needed to vent. Cause I fell asleep a bunch recently.
I love being told I’ll never feel better. My parents basically just said that because I’m not in constant pain and my joint pain is sporadic that it can’t be treated and will never get better.
So I’m just feeling crappy. Because even my parents minimize my pain and just don’t think it can be fixed.
I’m not doing great. I keep thinking about hurting myself, but I don’t know why. Like I’m not really depressed, so I don’t really know what to do. I only hurt myself when I was depressed. And when I stopped, I learned different coping mechanisms. But now, idk what I’m supposed to do other than just hope the urge goes away soon. It’s just frustrating and I needed to vent. I know I’m safe, but it’s just hard.
Doing better than last time. But I’ve slowly been giving up. It’s just hard. I’m tired 90% of the time. I fall asleep so often and can’t do half the stuff I could do before this all started. I’m in pain most days and its just hard. I’m scared I’ll never feel better and I’ll be stuck feeling like this forever. Not doing awesome, but I’m thankfully doing better than in that last post.
I couldnt imagine being in pain😕
Having trouble with urges to hurt myself again. I think I should tell my therapist this time because it’s no longer a one time thing. It’s like a craving, you know? Like my body is saying “do this, do this!” And I can make myself not do it or distract myself or do things that aren’t as bad like a cold shower or ice. And I know I won’t do it and I definitely don’t want to do it, but it’s just really frustrating to feel this.
Good idea to talk to your therapist!
When I get cravings I find that reminding myself of the reasons why I want to be (in my case) substance free can help. And also thinking about the ways that life and my new coping mechanisms are better without it.
Not suggesting doing that instead of talking to your therapist though!
How are things in general, what are you up to these days?
Yeah, I’m trying to like actually tell her stuff lol.
Yeah, I kept just thinking about how it wouldn’t help, there’s no point, it would make me feel worse, etc.
Mostly just studying, classes, working. I’m looking to get a dog, which is awesome!
I also told my therapist about how I’ve been struggling for a super long time but I have trouble talking about it, so now we’re basically talking about my childhood lol. Apparently being told for 18 years that you don’t matter can make you feel like you don’t matter😆 Who knew?
But yeah, overall I’m doing okay. Health stuff still sucks, but most days aren’t too bad. Some are even good!
Sorry you are feeling bad. I agree talking about it would be good. Childhood stuff is good, but sometimes we hide stuff going on now behind stuff that happened ages ago.
Thanks. Yeah, it can definitely be hard to balance talking about the past with the present. For me, it’s hard because so much of my childhood is ingrained in me. My school used a some cult-like tactics, so I still often think how they wanted us to. And it’s been a process of relearning and figuring out for myself what success is, what friendship is, and what happiness is.
Struggling tonight. I’m slowly realizing that what my mother offers isn’t love. She cares about me when it’s convenient but never for too long or if I talk about myself too much or complain too much.
And I don’t know how to make new friends. How to adults/college students make friends? How do we build our own chosen families? And how do we stay safe even while desperately needing connection?
It’s really hard to know your parents will probably never be what you need. It’s like a bad romantic relationship. I know talking to them hurts, but I feel so alone that I need to talk to someone. And every time I think talking to them will help, but everytime I end up crying. Ah well. It is what it is.
Oof. My depression is starting to come back. But this time it’s for a specific reason. It’s because I’m realizing that I can’t rely on my parents.
I’ve realized it’s not that they were intending to hurt me all my life. It’s just that they cared more about themselves than they cared about me. They still do. Which sucks to realize, but at least I’m finally recognizing it. It’s hard because they didn’t try to hurt me and they aren’t narcissists or anything, so I can’t hate them. But at the same time, I need to protect myself and anger is my go to. So now, I’m just getting depressed. Because I can’t be angry and I’m so hurt and I have no idea what I’m going to do. I have no idea how to heal from this shit. Sorry that’s so long. Stuff just sucks right now.
Struggling with identity. Yesterday I realized I never really “came out”. I said it when I was admitting to my mom about my mental illnesses. Then she told my dad without asking me. So I never really got to come out.
And I also have no idea who I am. Growing up being told what to do, who to be, how to think, I never really figured out who I was. But I always knew I was bi.
I’m trying to figure out how to celebrate a part of myself I was always secretly ashamed of. I was always scared to tell people. You never know how they’ll respond. And that weighs on you and you just end up feeling like you always have to hide yourself. And now I’m trying to figure out who I am, how to accept and love myself, and how to celebrate and participate in things I care about. How do I explore my sexuality? I never went through the clothing phases or the dating or the culture because the time I came out was during the worst period of my life.
And right now I just want to make up for lost time. I want to revel in my sexuality and explore the community that I know exists. I don’t understand gender and don’t really identify with any of them. I want to explore my gender expression. You know how people just intrinsically know what gender they are? I only know my gender because everyone else looks at me and says girl. There’s no part of me that says “I’m a girl!” or “I’m a boy” or anything. So idk. I think playing with my expression would at least let me figure out how I like to dress, act, and enjoy myself.
Sorry this was long. Can’t edit rn. But yeah. Trying to explore myself and trying to start celebrating and accepting myself.
I dont really know what this is like, but I do know what it was like for my daughter. School was tough and friendships came and went. The confusion about what she wanted, what she was… well, it was overwhelming. And this was happening in middle school and just got more intense through high-school. I always support her. Because I had no experience with this I sought out council for her. But that only went so far. I mean she asked me if she could get her breasts removed at age 15. It was tough. Im not gonna lie, but I never judged her or made her feel unaccepted. It was hard watching her not accept herself. After my drinking started she moved in with her Dad when I went to treatment. And other people in her family were not receptive. She had to hide who she was so long she really didn’t know who she was either. Things are better now. She’s 24 and knows herself well, for the most part but really doesn’t put much stock in other people. Never really believing people care. If you don’t mind me asking, could you tell me your age?
Wow, that’s really hard. It definitely takes some getting used to when someone tells you they aren’t the person you thought they were. I’m glad you were so supportive despite it being overwhelming to you. I’m so glad she’s doing okay and knows who she is. And I’m 19.