Hello I’m new to this group and I’m an alcoholic. I’m 56 days sober going cold turkey since Jan. 2nd. I’m 39 years old and I have a family. I’m from what I read, a “high functional alcoholic”. I was binge drinking twice a week (Friday and Saturday nights). I never drink the days before I go to work or if I had to get up early to do something important. I would never get drunk in public for Fear of getting arrested for something stupid. I only drink in the privacy of my own home. I’d even hide vodka mixed with sparkling water in a water bottle so my son wouldn’t see me drinking. My husband probably suspects I have a problem because I can’t remember conversations we’ve had and also I’d fall asleep on the couch. I pretty much hide my problem from everyone else. I would drink 1/5th of vodka between those two days Every weekend. It was destroying my health and I’ve decided to just stop cold turkey before I end up being hospitalized for something. I was doing everything I knew to help treat alcoholism. Taking B50, magnesium, folic acid, potassium and electrolytes and a bunch of other things which caused me to never really get too dehydrated, or have withdrawals. When I would go out before I could just drink just one or two and stop. My problem drinking only happens at home. I haven’t obviously tried drinking anything while being out since being sober.
My question is has anyone tried to just drink socially one or two without relapsing into unhealthy drinking habits? Is this not possible?
A bunch of people here have tried. To my knowledge none have succeeded. However, this is an abstinence forum so you probably aren’t going to find anyone who has successfully moderated. Also, I know plenty of high functioning people who drink. They don’t have to hide their drinking from their children. I used to think I was a high functioning addict too. But once I got sober I have finally realized my true potential, both personally and professionally. I am 100% present for my children, something that I wouldn’t be able to do if I was drinking on the weekends. Booze was holding me back big time. So if you do well now, I can only imagine how great things will be if you remain completely sober.
The last time i tried moderation it lead into a 2 year relapse, i was like 170ish days sober. I have 123 days now and i certainly won’t fall for that trick again. Just my experience.
That’s only manageable, when You’re NOT an alcoholic.
For example me, I usually don’t even like the taste of alcohol drinks.
If I could decide, if I would ever decide to drink, then I would drink flavoured beers, though my favourite drink is not an alcohol, since it’s an orange juice
Thank you all for your advice. I really needed to read your experiences and it is truly appreciated. There is underlying issues as to why I was drinking so much at home. I don’t deal with stress well. The best option is for me to abstain, from reading that it’s likely not successful.
I wonder what started the whole drinking process for You?
There must’ve been some strong motive there.
If You know it, then You can start finding way to get an alternative method of coping with the situation that started the drinking process.
Is there a reason you want to have one or two drinks? Sounds like you were drinking much more than just one or two. It seems like being secretive and lying to yourself and family about your drinking is not a positive thing. I would imagine that made you feel shitty and you probably would prefer an honest relationship with your family and your self. And being healthy.
As for me and moderation… I tried moderation for years…a lot of years. I would only drink on weekends. Only red wine. Only white wine. Drink water in between alcohol drinks. Only drink top end vodka ( easier hangover haha). Only drink 2 or 3 drinks (haha). Only drink 3 days a week. The list was endless of what I would try to keep drinking.
It wasn’t until I was so desperately sick of myself and my hangovers and bad decisions…until I was in a very dark suicidal mind set that I finally FINALLY internalized that all the moderating and bargaining in the world was not going to miraculously cure my horrendous relationship with alcohol.
I am incredibly grateful to have put all that anxiety and trying to rest. I no longer worry about how to manage the unmanageable and I am at peace with my self. Very thankful for sobriety.
Stop drinking 100%…figure out what you were drinking at…what drinking helped you hide from or avoid thinking of…what drinking was allowing you to mask. Work on your self and your mental and physical health. Get honest with yourself and your husband. And enjoy the big beautiful world out there and inside of you…sober.
From what I read you never drink either socially or in moderation @Coldturkey. To me it seems the wish to be able to do so now is only a trick the addicted part of your brain is playing on you. You’re not a social drinker as you drink alone in secret. And you don’t drink in moderation because you drink to forget your problems. The time you could drink one or two going out is over because your drinking has progressed to problematic drinking. There’s no going back in my opinion. Just my opinion. I know I can’t. Congrats on 59 days of sobriety. and welcome here! It’s a great place for support.
Agree with everyone who posted in this topic. Moderate use is not an option for me. Also be aware of a cross addiction! Every time I had cocaine cravings I started smoking weed… I thought it was moderate… and I was saying proud, I didn’t use cocaine for x weeks! but I was only lying to myself… I was under the influence every day. It was a cross addiction. Complete abstinence is the only option for me to recover.
Yes, I have tried. Sooooooo many times
I personally can’t do it. After so long sober, usually in excess of six months I start feeling like I can. Then I start off ok. But then I realize the exorbitant amount of work that goes into moderation. It consumes my thoughts and I’m not present. Not sure if that makes sense. It doesn’t take long for me to fall back into old habits. My drinking is also progressive. So I get worse each time I return. But there I go, skipping off into moderation attempts convincing myself I can do it this time. I’m my own worst enemy. I think if someone is truly addicted to alcohol, it’s probably not possible. But I can only speak fir myself. Hope this is a little helpful. Thanks for sharing your story
I probably typed my post a little weird. Whenever I would drink, socially it was always in moderation. For example, on a Monday if my co-workers and I went out for happy hour I can drink two and come home and drink nothing else. This has always been the case up until I stoped drinking all together in Jan. I formed this habit/ addictive behavior of secretively binge drinking alone on Fridays and Saturday nights. I didn’t deter from that. I feel like if I start trying to drink in moderation socially again it will trigger me buying a bottle on the weekends. More than likely that would be the case from everyone’s responses
I tried, and it worked, for a short time. You get comfortable, you loosen up on the rules/guidelines you’d set for yourself, and next thing you know, you’re right back where you were or worse.
I used to think I could ‘moderate’ for years and years. Some days I successfully drank only 1-3 and could stop but I’d always end up with that occasional bad night where I’d end up drinking 10+, blackout, and make a horrible mess of everything. The longer I drank, the harder it became to abstain for even a couple days, and towards the end I was blacking out almost nightly. Moderation cannot work for me. If you label yourself an alcoholic, then I would just stop. The disease keeps progressing and things will only get worse with time. You’ve already got a great amount of time so why ruin that. I’m sure you’ve already felt the benefits since quitting and it only gets better and better the further away you get from it. Good for you to reach out and ask questions. Just read on here a lot. Theres a lot of great stories, advice, and wonderful people to support you 24/7. All the best
I agree with your assessment. If you start drinking again, you will be drinking again and will go back to hiding your drinking. Are you feeling good in sobriety? If so, maybe keep going with that and see how it goes. Maybe start working with a therapist on why you want to keep drinking, can’t hurt.
so why ruin that. I’m sure you’ve already felt the benefits since quitting and it only gets better and better the further away you get from it. Good for you to reach out and ask questions. Just read on here a lot. Theres a lot of great stories, advice, and wonderful people to support you 24/7. All the best 