I’ve recently decided to get sober after 33 years.
I’m only 4 days in which isn’t impressive at all.
I’ve been up at 4am and going to the gym eating healthier and training harder.
My struggle is the mental flogging I give myself constantly no matter how much I dont drink or how much I train all I can think of is how much of an impossible task this is as I would love nothing more than to never drink again.
I feel like I’ve lied to myself a thousand times saying I would stop and I went 3 months but then felt like I deserved a drink and boom back to square one.
I really want to make this the last time but I’ve got a bloody stag do booked in 2 months and the thought of the holiday terrifies me.
Any advice would be great hope you all have a great day.
Congratulations 4 days is quite the accomplishment I have 70 days after a 30 year run if you are already dreading the stag cancel it dont let anything effect your sobriety and if they are really your friends they will understand and if they dont well then you have your answer allready
All I keep think thinking is if Steve O can do it I can.
My personality type is if I have one drink then thats it the flood gates have been opened until I get so low I start the cycle of wanting to stop again.
This has to be the last time because constantly breaking promises to myself makes you feel worthless.
Plus you can’t escape your mind so you beat yourself up about failing again.
Hi @Sp33dy16 you tried to get sober in the past and always failed. What did you do then? Because whatever it was, it was not enough. If it was simply not drink, you’re in luck, because there are so many other things you can and need to do to aid and make your sobriety permanent. Just putting it down will not suffice. Check out these resources here.
Regarding that stag do, I would cancel. Go to the wedding itself, but leave the stag do out if you’re serious about your recovery. That would be paradoxical for me to take part in that in early recovery.
That’s not a personality type, that’s alcoholism!
I know the lowness and self loathing that you describe. Many of us here know. Set yourself up better and make a real attempt at it. Put as much work into your recovery as you did into your drinking. Just hoping and shaming yourself will not do, buddy. You can do it!
What!!! The first week is such a hard week. I (and everyone on here) have been where you are my friend and I think you actually sell yourself short here. It IS impressive it IS monumental! Without day one there can be no day 2 and so on. Try to go easy on yourself, PLEASE! My DOC was booze and it’s a massive thing to take this first step and decide enough is enough. I never thought I could stop drinking but I’m 900 days +!! I welcome you to this amazing, safe, supportive forum. This is my only support tool and it’s invaluable. Lean on us! In the early days someone on here said to me that I was to treat myself like I had flu for the first week or so. Plenty of fluids, plenty of rest, warm baths steady walks. We have put our bodies through so much by ramming shit down our necks to numb ourselves. Take it one step at a time. My advice on the stag do is don’t go. You have to put your recovery first! You have to want to be sober with every fibre of your being. It’s a battle and you have to be prepared to put that above everything else. NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES. I hope you don’t mind me adding my opinion, I am rooting for you and I wish you strength and serenity. Look forward to seeing you around. Come here as often as you can, use this platform in times when you would of been drinking…. It really works!!! Welcome to the family!!
Stay in the moment. Just don’t drink today, no matter what. Then tomorrow rinse and repeat. Thinking about a sober forever scares the shit out of me. Just deal with today my friend. YOU ARE NOT ALONE NOW! Together we are stronger
Hey man. I’m at day 3 (again). I struggle with a terrible memory. I go periods not drinking, and then fall down into the moderate drinking path, and end up back where I started drinking everyday and feeling lousy, guilty and depressed as shit. But I keep trying, I get a little better at quitting each time. Quit lit helps me. Alan Carr’s easy way to control drinking has really been a helper for me. Reading it a second time around because my brain doesn’t like to remember the reasons that drive me to quit, just the nice drinking memories haha.
It’s ok to be proud of yourself. 4 days is huge. The number means less and less with time. no matter how long it’s been it’s always about two days, the first day you relinquished control and the next 24 hours. I like to think we, all of us, are on day 1, and it’s because there is so much in the present. It’s called the present because it’s a gift. You got this, keep it up.
You have to put your recovery first! You have to want to be sober with every fibre of your being. It’s a battle and you have to be prepared to put that above everything else. NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES. I hope you don’t mind me adding my opinion, I am rooting for you and I wish you strength and serenity. Look forward to seeing you around. Come here as often as you can, use this platform in times when you would of been drinking…. It really works!!! Welcome to the family!! 
