Well I was never into these kind of things; social groups, guidance counselors, therapists, etc. but recently i just got into an argument with my wife on how she feels like I’m hiding things and i lie to her. I have a history of fucking up and that has always happened while I was drinking or when I was blacked out drunk. Addiction to a lot of bad habits runs in my family and i guess it just carried on to me. Right now I’m deployed and I’m tired of hearing the pain in my wife’s voice or the thought of her taking my daughter and leaving me. A situation came up to where (i assume) she was told I was giving ppl attention out here. Even though I don’t remember some of my off days due to blacking out, i just know I didn’t physically cheat on her. She’s not believing me and maybe someone can help me out with what to tell her or help her understand or just anything in general. I told her before I will quit drinking and I lied to her, I told her again this time and that I mean it but of course she thinks I’m crying wolf but I am serious this time.I’m really looking forward to staying sober and creating a better life for me and my family. I hope being on this app can help me. Congrats to everyone making a better change in their life and keep it up 
Maybe try ameeting might help plenty of like minded people there who have been were you are dont suffer alone wish you well
Hey Chris, Welcome to the forum. Take some time to get to know the space. There is a lot of helpful information here.
As far as your wife, just stop telling her you’ll quit and do it. You are making promises you’ve already broken and she has no reason to believe you. Rather than spend time doing that, let her know, “I just joined this forum where people all over the World support each other to quit.” “I started listening to a really great audio book about how drinking affects the mind. Here’s what I learned. It is really keeping me committed.”
I’d say over 90% of the people on this forum have made such promises and weren’t able to and most of those would tell you the same. Show her, that’s what she’ll need to see it in action.
You’ll definitely need to come up with a solid plan. I know deployment culture and you’ll be up against a lot of internal and external arguments about why it’ll be OK, just this one night, etc.
Glad you’re here!
Thank you and yes I am going to be about the action of quitting. I do have a great group of solid friends here deployed with me and i spoke to them and asked them too for support. I have lost a lot of relationships due to be believing I can do whatever i want for myself, that is not the way. Once again thank you 
Yes ma’am. I know many posts seem the same but i much rather read about someone who is very excited about having another sober day instead of hearing ppl saying let’s take a shot. Positivity in this world is blessing, so I’m happy to be around it
Hey, welcome!
I’ve been in a similar situation and here’s what I’ve learned.
If you walk 100 miles into a forest, it takes 100 miles to get out. For every year of lies, abuse and dishonesty, it’s going to take that much time of sobriety, truth and love before I earn my wife’s trust.
Emotional cheating is a thing. You don’t have to have sexual relations to cheat. Giving attention to other people is just as bad; imagine how you’d feel if your wife gave other guys attention. Again, it’ll take time to earn that trust.
Do what you say! If you say you’ll quit, do it. Easier said than done I know, but if you want your word to have value you must follow it with action.
Be honest with yourself. After a deep dive, I found I wasn’t as bad as I thought, but I was worse than I believed.
Be patient, be kind, love yourself and forgive yourself. In order for you to grow and mature, you need to allow yourself to be loved and be forgiven by you.
So buckle up and enjoy the ride! It’ll be bumpy at times but it truly is a beautiful thing.
Just wanted to say welcome aboard! I second everything these wise individuals have said so I won’t repeat. But I would like to suggest some threads here that many, including myself, have found helpful.
Many people hold themselves accountable and get support and connection by checking in daily here:
https://talkingsober.com/t/checking-in-daily-to-maintain-focus-57/168965
Here is a thread for “newbies,” as it were:
https://talkingsober.com/t/advice-for-the-newcomer-and-constant-relapser/11064
Here’s one with tips from members with 1 year or more of sobriety:
https://talkingsober.com/t/topic/155853/56
Also, if you have specific topics you’re interested in, you can always do a search by clicking on the magnifying glass on the top menu bar. I know there have been threads specific to military members in recovery if that’s of interest of you.
Hope to see you around!
It takes time to rebuild that trust she lost in you. Many of us want things to be better right off, but in my experience it takes time to change our selves and for our partners to adjust to those changes. Focusing on today, being sober today, sitting with whatever feelings we have (disappointment in our selves for instance), often helps me in the long run. Glad you are here.
I hope everyone is having a good morning/afternoon and if there are struggles today in your life. Just know there’s love out there, have faith As a human being, I got love for you. Stay safe