Hello Kevin,
thank you for your kind words. I do hope your daughters could take in the love and encouragement you have for them. I’m certain it will be a big deal for them in the long run.
I’ve been on sick leave and unemployed due to poor mental health for a few years now. As I’m recovering I’ll be going thru rehabilitation to return into working life for which I have no self confidence and I’m really scared if I have what it takes. I haven’t shared my feelings with my dad much but I told him about my fears and feelings of inadequacy a while ago. He simply said: “Yes you have what it takes.”
I’m 36, a grown woman, but that affirmation tilted my world. It has become a constant, something I can hold onto and will treasure till the end of my days.
Never underestimate your significance as a father, a man and a male figure.
Very eloquent words (nothing new from you) and a great job of explaining how we as sex/porn addicts feel. There are so many threads on here I don’t even bother to look at for fear of seeing something that will trigger me and I know that has kept me from becoming more connected with people on TS and has possibly (probably) slowed my own recovery somewhat.
Thank you for your kind words.
I get what you’re saying. I keep muting threads and people. I think I’ve even lost friends here by setting my boundaries. It is fuck-this-shit when a place you thought was safe turns out not to be. You spend extra energy and time trying to bounce back and considering if the place is worth staying. I still haven’t decided but if I do stay, I will focus solely on my DOC fellows and people whose opinion I still care about.
I sure hope you decide to stay Olivia. You’ve taught me so much and I’m forever grateful. But you have to do what’s best for you and that’s totally understandable. Thank you for being so vulnerable while educational. Much love to you sister.
Last few weeks have been a full on learning curve on relationships and myself. Here are some things I’ve picked up.
Self care is vital and allowed when helping someone in a difficult/critical life situation.
Feeling of failing in a relationship is rooted all the way back to my childhood, when I was trying to help my parents in their marriage. (How fucked up is that, a kid trying to manage adult problems, no way that could end well…)
Reminded once again of the fact that I have 2 ears but only 1 mouth, LOL.
I’ve been thinking about friendship. How can you know if someone really is a friend? We all have those people with whom we can banter and share a good laugh. However, you don’t often come across people you can cry with. When you do, you never forget them even if they walked away.
There’s an old Finnish song about knowing a true friend. Attempted translation by me.
How to know a friend If they’re what you truly need Tough times will show Who will stay by you When you’re in hardship And you need a helping hand The cost of friendship will be weighed Many will not stay
Let the sea show you… Let the fell (artic mountain) tell you… Who will stay by you
This is how you know a friend, that they’re still with you When good laughs are gone When your buddies are done
Oh how i wish i could give you a hug (yes the one who doesn’t like hugs).
My dear friend
You have been a person who has taught me how to accept an issue that i just kept denying.
You have given me a friendship that i will cherish for years to come because in moments of feeling so lonely you were there a friend who would just listen and tell me it would be okay.
I can’t describe the prayers i have sent above to say a thank you for sending you my way!
I feel the same way about you. Your insight to this addiction has helped me to understand myself soooo much more. Thank you for being there and for being a friend
He:
As a bestman at a friend’s wedding
I gave a speech about love being a mutual decision, or so I’d heard
Detached and alone was all I knew
Horrified of daily life, I’d run before we even got that far, back to sq 1
Years later, when tables were turned and I heard the same speech, I finally knew
The circle closed although it took time to find, what we all are looking for
After years of maybes we made it real
She:
Going with, meeting in half way
Holding you close when nights are getting cold
I promise to have your heart
until our final moment
Both:
I will see this till the end
till end, till the end, yeah
He:
Years into us, we grow together every day
Like a stream shaping its riverbed, it carved me into who I am
I share myself, you share yourself, even problems
Is this what I was fighting against?? Huh!
After some time it finds a way,
until we get to a point where tension becomes safety
Two lives meshing deeper together, I promised to guard the flame
It’s not easy but there’s no second guessing
I’ll go with you where ever it might take me
She:
Going with, meeting in half way
Holding you close when nights are getting cold
I promise to have your heart
until our final moment
Both:
I will see this till the end
till end, till the end, yeah
I really do not give a shit why ppl post themselves half naked here. I’m done trying to be considerate and understanding. Every fucking person who posts topless, nude in a bath tub or something like that, I will consider a hostile threat to my recovery. You will be muted and ignored, but then again, I guess you don’t give a shit about me either.
If you want to see topless pics or find a place where they will be appreciated, just google “topless pics”. If you can’t find any, I can give links for porn sites. No problem!
Yes, they are a reflection of themselves not of you. Too bad they’re so fucken disrespectful. You are an aid in my recovery and I appreciate your presence here. I pray you can find a comfortable way to stay here. If you mute or ignore someone and you’re scrolling through a thread, are their posts absent?
Thank you Michelle, I really appreciate you here too I’m learning the hard way to consider those who are invested in me and appreciate me and to not give a shit about anything else. Yeah, if you mute/ignore someone, I can’t see their posts, it just says “hidden comment” or something like that. I’ve muted all selfie threads, memes and maybe something else. I might end up with having only pets, foodies unite and a couple of private threads, LOL
I wonder what goes on in the head of people who get publicly upset when flagged. Topless is topless. Are they going to call a cop names if they get fined for speeding? Rules are rules, no more, no less.
I get you Jan. I respect rules, it’s just who I am. Not everyone thinks like that. I bet there are countless people who bitch to the cops when they get pulled over for speeding.
I really don’t understand those people. You are required to know the law. Don’t go bitching when you break the law because it’s usually your own darn fault. Same goes for TS. It’s your responsibility to know the rules and follow them
