A lucky accident then Thank you.
I really hear you. I think being needy of attention comes from not liking yourself, and needing other people to like u to make up for it. Slowly we have to learn to love ourselves, then we don’t need constant demonstrations of love from others.
I think for many of us, we grapple with what it means to get healthy attention, either from ourselves, or from others. Neglecting our own healthy needs - often because we don’t even know what they are - is a driver for escape into addiction. As we get sober we learn about our needs; learning how to meet them in healthy, sustainable ways is (I think) important to make it work.
One year ago …
(Edit: this day is 1 year on the forum but not sober)
I was coming to terms with the fact that I have an addiction. It was nervewracking to tell my loved ones about my shady, filthy secret. (That was my choice and decision, and definitely the right call to make.) I got a transferral to a therapist who had training in sexual issues. There were many things going on at the same time.
I also joined TS exactly a year ago, on 2nd Aug 2020. I was really shy and reserved. I didn’t show my face, tell my real name (still haven’t) nor my DOC. A few weeks in, I created this thread and posted my story. I had never told it in public so it was a big deal.
Looking back my time on the forum… I’ve changed as a person. I’ve matured. I know I’m accountable to myself and to this community, by my choice. I’ve had laughs and epiphanies. I’ve totally lost my shit, been mad as hell and hurt. I’m sure I’ve pissed ppl off too. I’ve made friends. Some of them have become so close that losing them would break my heart and I would miss them for a lifetime.
To have all this support finally, after years of pain… I’m grateful and privileged. It still astounds me that someone would reach out their hand to help me. Like, who am I?
A wonderful unicorn
I’m happy I met you here Olivia. You bring light and courage and commitment to the world; you ask questions and explore. I’m grateful to have you here
MUCH love to you girl. I have been blessed to be in your presence for a year+ and am so thankful you came & stayed here.
Whatta lovely nugget
D 326
Not much to report but checking in anyway. My therapy is going well and yet I’m a bit antsy about it. It’s easy to talk - I don’t have a problem with that. Facing my feelings, stemming from early childhood, isn’t that easy. It’s so fucking scary and so fucking necessary. I don’t want to be ruled by them anymore.
Yup, I know that feeling all too well
D 328
Almost relapsed.
I was able to pull myself out in the last minute. I was in a bored slump for most of the day. That was my gateway into it. Should have gone for a walk in the afternoon instead of staying in.
Ashamed and annoyed.
Definitely gotta be careful with boredom. I get the shame and annoyance but I’d say it’s a milestone. You resisted that evil son of a bitch. You did a great job because resisting that fucker is hard, really hard.
Good on ya for resisting that gremlin!!! You got this. And I know you know this, but I’ll just put this out here, you know you can call me anytime my beautiful friend. Hugs xx
I don’t know about ur doc, but my “dodged bullets” make me feel stronger, in the end.
Didn’t know where to post this so imma stick it here, LOL
@OldDogNewTricks Hey Kai, I was watching this and thought of you
Brooklyn nine-nine is awesome.
It’s not playing! But my curiosity is way up!