Olivia all over the place

So happy for you @Olivia
Congratulations again on your engagement!


2y 5m 13d

My days in my current hometown are coming to an end. My Man will pick me up and I will finally move on 26th March. Most of my stuff is gone already.

Come April and I’ll be living in a new apartment, starting a new job and getting things ready for the wedding. So much to do, eh… I’ll try to enjoy it rather than stress about it LOL.

Sobrietywise… I’m nervous and excited. I’ve been abstinent for A VERY LONG TIME so it’s natural, I know. But still. Letting someone that close is a bit scary.


Since it’s my thread I’ll go ahead and tell you something weird :astonished:

I had a dream last night that I was in NYC. I was mainly travelling and stopped in a shopping centre. For a reason idk, I met up with @Englishd for ice cream. It was my treat since he had no money on him :smile: It was a short and friendly encounter. Soon my dream changed to a zombie survival scene. That escalated quickly LOL. Dream life surely is interesting :laughing:


Excuse my ignorance please, but could you tell me what “pmo” is?

What a journey!!! So excited and happy for you!! :heart::people_hugging:

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An acronym for porn, masturbation, orgasm

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Such an interesting time of transition, I imagine it’s full of lots of emotion. I am so happy for you :face_holding_back_tears: I remember when I started to feel like my fella was going to be my forever guy and the moving in together, the commitments we made, and the ceremonies around that making things really special. I’m grateful we got through our tough times and are better for it. Living with your partner can be beautiful and it can also be a big life change with difficulties along the way - take care of you through this and reach out when you need. Congratulations again and again, amiga!

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I never say no to ice cream


So many exciting things happening in your world Olivia. I’m happy for you and your new life. Try to keep the stress to a minimum and enjoy each moment the best you can. I know it’s easier said than done.

I’m offended that you didn’t think to invite me for ice cream. NYC is less than an hour away. I expect to be apart of your next dream visit. :joy:


My most sincere apologies! :speak_no_evil: I promise to summon you next time I’m around :smile:


2 Years 5 months 13 days free of PMO. I would die to have that streak, having this problem out of my life. I dont even know what 9 months free feels like. What finally did it for you?


Me neither…especially when someone else is buying!

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I gave this a good thought. It’s a combination of things:

I spent about 6 years in therapy, of which the last 2 we focused on my sexual issues. But it’s still all connected LOL. It was vital to understand why I run to pmo and what I think it gives to me. Whatever it is, I need to find healthier ways to cope with boredom and loneliness, for example.

I started coming to this forum and befriended ppl, to whom I’m accountable. I tried to find in-person meetings but unfortunately, they don’t exist in this country. It would still be nice to find peer support that I could really connect with. Female PMO addicts are scarce on TS but I come here daily to remind myself.

The counter helped me a lot in the first year. It was so disappointing to reset! That happened a few times. I also didn’t like when I needed to come clean about my relapses. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to, but it was embarrassing. So many times when I’ve been just a nudge away from pmo’ing, I thought dang, I don’t wanna start stacking days from 0 again.

There needs to be a reason to stay clean. What am I aiming for? Initially, I wanted to break free from an addiction that brought me shame and isolation. Now that I’m getting married, I don’t want to hurt my Man. We have similar values and views especially about porn, which we consider adultery. I’m aware that not everyone sees it like that, but that’s how we roll. It was so difficult to tell him about my dark past and addiction when our relationship got serious. I promised him that if any of it ever caused problems in our intimacy, I would seek help again. Obviously, I don’t want things to escalate that far.

Finally, I take refuge in my faith. I believe in God who restores things that have been marred and destroyed. I’ve wept bitterly about what has been done to me and what I’ve done to myself. There are things in life and recovery that are beyond my reach. I do what I can, and yield the rest to Jesus, trusting that he has my best interest in mind.


I want to be like you when I grow up

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