Olivia all over the place

Since it’s my thread I’ll go ahead and tell you something weird :astonished:

I had a dream last night that I was in NYC. I was mainly travelling and stopped in a shopping centre. For a reason idk, I met up with @Englishd for ice cream. It was my treat since he had no money on him :smile: It was a short and friendly encounter. Soon my dream changed to a zombie survival scene. That escalated quickly LOL. Dream life surely is interesting :laughing:


Excuse my ignorance please, but could you tell me what “pmo” is?

What a journey!!! So excited and happy for you!! :heart::people_hugging:


An acronym for porn, masturbation, orgasm

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Such an interesting time of transition, I imagine it’s full of lots of emotion. I am so happy for you :face_holding_back_tears: I remember when I started to feel like my fella was going to be my forever guy and the moving in together, the commitments we made, and the ceremonies around that making things really special. I’m grateful we got through our tough times and are better for it. Living with your partner can be beautiful and it can also be a big life change with difficulties along the way - take care of you through this and reach out when you need. Congratulations again and again, amiga!


I never say no to ice cream


So many exciting things happening in your world Olivia. I’m happy for you and your new life. Try to keep the stress to a minimum and enjoy each moment the best you can. I know it’s easier said than done.

I’m offended that you didn’t think to invite me for ice cream. NYC is less than an hour away. I expect to be apart of your next dream visit. :joy:


My most sincere apologies! :speak_no_evil: I promise to summon you next time I’m around :smile:


2 Years 5 months 13 days free of PMO. I would die to have that streak, having this problem out of my life. I dont even know what 9 months free feels like. What finally did it for you?


Me neither…especially when someone else is buying!


I gave this a good thought. It’s a combination of things:

I spent about 6 years in therapy, of which the last 2 we focused on my sexual issues. But it’s still all connected LOL. It was vital to understand why I run to pmo and what I think it gives to me. Whatever it is, I need to find healthier ways to cope with boredom and loneliness, for example.

I started coming to this forum and befriended ppl, to whom I’m accountable. I tried to find in-person meetings but unfortunately, they don’t exist in this country. It would still be nice to find peer support that I could really connect with. Female PMO addicts are scarce on TS but I come here daily to remind myself.

The counter helped me a lot in the first year. It was so disappointing to reset! That happened a few times. I also didn’t like when I needed to come clean about my relapses. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to, but it was embarrassing. So many times when I’ve been just a nudge away from pmo’ing, I thought dang, I don’t wanna start stacking days from 0 again.

There needs to be a reason to stay clean. What am I aiming for? Initially, I wanted to break free from an addiction that brought me shame and isolation. Now that I’m getting married, I don’t want to hurt my Man. We have similar values and views especially about porn, which we consider adultery. I’m aware that not everyone sees it like that, but that’s how we roll. It was so difficult to tell him about my dark past and addiction when our relationship got serious. I promised him that if any of it ever caused problems in our intimacy, I would seek help again. Obviously, I don’t want things to escalate that far.

Finally, I take refuge in my faith. I believe in God who restores things that have been marred and destroyed. I’ve wept bitterly about what has been done to me and what I’ve done to myself. There are things in life and recovery that are beyond my reach. I do what I can, and yield the rest to Jesus, trusting that he has my best interest in mind.


I want to be like you when I grow up

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2y 6m 3d
I was trying to be mindful of 2,5 years mark but missed it. Life is busy in a good way atm. I’m spending the first night in our new apartment tonight. I’m not settled yet, there’s a moving box chaos everywhere but I have heat, water, a bed, food and some basic appliances running.

I’m noticing once again how much I need Jesus, my HP. Seeking Him through the word and prayer realigns my whole being. Without it, I seek deep sense of purpose and strength to cope from other places that don’t seem “bad” but don’t really give me life in the end.

When I came down here I had a discussion with my Man about boundaries. I was concerned and uneasy about certain things we’d been doing so I wanted to take one step back in our intimacy. Luckily, he was being very understanding and not angry at all. I’m glad I had the courage to raise the issue. Adulting, ODAAT :smile:


I’m so happy for you!!! I’ve been wanting to bug you but I knew you were busy…in a good way lol I’m so happy you’re happy. You deserve every bit of it :heart::heart::heart:


Bug me, always, anytime :kissing_heart:


23 days till my wedding day :heartpulse::rose:

Dang, this is much work! I would need an extra head or to two just manage to think about everything I need to plan and sort out :smile: I do try to enjoy myself but phew! I have amazing bridesmaids who are irreplaceable in preparations :pray:t3:

No, I have not been able to organise our apartment yet. Baby steps. I’m tired after work and busy with the wedding. My Man is wonderful and helpful. He keeps asking where to find place for this and that, and I just say I dunno, ask me again in July :joy: I can’t be bothered at this point LOL.

Yes, I’ve started in my new job. It’s ok. It’s a job. I have a lot to learn.


Finally getting it together huh, good for you guys your gentleman for the few words we spoke in English, seems like a genuine dude

And I still only know Sauna and No Niin, so there’s that I missed your birthday btw cause I’m a shitty friend


My dear, I’ve lowered my expectations regarding your communication LOL I guess you have more interesting company than your Finnish fling nowadays :smirk::smile:

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The soccer mom mafia of juice boxes and fruit snacks is real lol.

Apparently my coworkers think I’m Cassanova or something this one lady came to our shop and recognized me from a show, got to chatting real nice lady.

The next day she bought the whole place lunch, they are like I don’t know what you did, but do it again lol

Nah I’m just busy AF I work 12 hours most days, and then grinding on recording sessions, new band auditions 2 upcoming huge rock festivals im gonna be playing in, growing my following, growing my YouTube. And prepping my son for college

Oh and dying my hair


Started reading your thread and I’m so happy to know you’re also getting married as well! I have about 16 weeks until my day but it’s really uncanny and wonderful to know people like us can actually get it together and find the one despite the battles we fight on the side. Congratulations!