Okay, so next Tuesday is my one year birthday (19th). A woman I work with decided that we should do dinner with everyone. Basically I chose the place (Longhorn… STEAK!) But she has been dictating the entire thing. Has to be on Tuesday, invited everyone from work (and they all drink regularly), has to be at 5pm. Here’s the thing… She is a selfish bitch who doesn’t listen to a word I say EVER about how things are going or what difficulties I go through. If SHE isn’t talking about HER there is NO conversation. I kinda dispise her. She used to be my best friend, then she dropped me because she couldn’t deal with my girlfriend (Who was also her best friend before we started dating), then decided she missed drinking Crown with me and talking about books so she forgave me… yeah, this doesn’t get any better. I wouldn’t have a damn thing to do with her if we didn’t work together. But she is DEMANDING that we do this dinner with all the alcoholics at work. I love my job, I love the people I work with, but once I walk out those doors I am done with them all. I have to be, otherwise I would still be drinking!
Tuesday is my Saturday, I’m off work. I don’t want to cater to this selfish woman and her stupid ideas of “what should happen,” especially on my day off. I need that space, it helps sustain my sobriety and mental health. I especially don’t want to spend ANY celebration of anything to do with MY sobriety with a bunch of people who would rather be drinking than being uncomfortable and not buzzed up. I don’t actually know how many people at work said they would go. Probably only 3 others. I do know that if I do want a dinner it would be on the Sunday after, lighter traffic and not a day off. Said woman doesn’t want to do it Sunday, mostly because it’s HER day off.
So I don’t even know why I’m stressing about this. I don’t want to do it and I’ve said so. Guess I just need some validation that this is a healthy sober selfishness and not an addict selfishness.