Congrats on 53 days!
Triggers are everywhere, the difference is how they’re handled and for the last 53 days you’ve handled them in healthy ways.
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Yeah, triggers are conditioned cues that ellicit a response.The more I change my response, the more I recondition my behavior. I am gaining more and more confidence in my sobriety each day.
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I’ve been addicted to masturbation since I was 10 ish. I didn’t know what it was or that anybody would know what it was if I told them. I called them “seizures” for years. I even told some friends that I had seizures. Nobody corrected me, though I think one of my more savvy friends might have had a better idea of what was happening to me when I was about 12. I didn’t know the word masturbate till I heard it said in the first Shia Labeouf Transformers movie XD and I STILL didn’t know that’s what I was doing.
I remember the first time I ever noticed anything was in a school library with other students around during a class reading group. In the 4th grade I think? I crossed my legs under the table and “something” happened. I wasn’t being attracted to anything, though I remember my teacher was reading Hatchet by Gary Paulsen lol. I kept crossing and uncrossing my legs for the rest of class. Probably freaking people out tbh.
I don’t totally understand it to this day what set me off so early. Because I didn’t even equate porn to my little habit until the eighth grade. And even then it was “anime” porn. And very very softcore. I only started watching actual people have sex halfway through highschool.
I got away with actual orgasms in school several times a day due to the fact that I did it by crossing my legs. Under the desk, doing back twists in gym class, sitting on the sink in the bathroom while talking to my friends?! I would trigger it with thoughts of people in pain or tied up sometimes which I found mildly worrying at the time but now that I’m older it shocks me the things I was doing/thinking about.
I’ve been steadily dragging this addiction around for 14 years since. I took a break sometime around 16 because I told my mom and she was helpful, till I decided I’m just not gonna tell her when I do it and I relapsed again because I started getting rediculous period cramps and found out that masturbation will do better than a Tylenol any day!
A couple years ago I started my first sexual relationship and found out that I can’t get an orgasm through anything other than my traditional crossed legs solo masturbation tactic, and it bothered me and my partner a lot. I’m pretty worried about it ruining any future sexual relationships. Plus I’m trying to be a good Christian and stop being a hentai watching weeb.
Soooooo my current deal is that last year I was averaging 3 cheat days a month and I’m gonna(try to) cut it down to one bad day a month, probably around period time, and see how it goes.
Cuz of the new year I went looking for addiction support apps and just started this morning, so thank you for letting me put this story out there, I’ve been very much alone with this my whole life.
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Well, you’re not alone here. Sounds like a story that many here are familiar with already. You may consider counseling as a good recovery tool.
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I’m a sex , love and porn addict. Sober 7 days today from PMO. Making it past day 4 or 6 is huge for me.
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You feel like telling us your story?
Welcome to the forums and congratulations on taking the huge step in looking for help. You’ll find there are several of us here with porn/masturbation/sex addiction. Talking to a counselor would probably be a good idea in helping with being able to orgasm without your method of masturbation.
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Congrats on the benchmark!
You’re not alone. I also started at a very young age and had no idea what I was doing. Thank you for your share.
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Reached 30 days again!
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Im one of them.
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Stick around. Theres a lot of advice for you to heed here. Tell us your story.
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Welcome!!!
Im one. Im 10 hours into my first day. I had some temptation this afternoon, but was too lazy to act on it. Its almost bedtime though and thats where the real problems lie: Night time and early morning. Praying for a complete day. #onedayatatime
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I’m not judging, but how is it actually possible that a 10 year old boy is even allowed to watch porn and then get addicted?
It’s really easy. You go to school right? Kids talk crazy stuff. Everybody has a phone nowadays, it’s easy to go watch porn. He says he is only 18 so 8 years ago there were phones around.
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I have so many addictions and porn is one of them. More specifically, gay porn. My wife knows about it and understands how it is a way for me to cope with my abusive past. She is too good for me.
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Not really what I was asking. Where are the parents?
I answered the question from my experience, I don’t know how people raise their kids and to be honest I don’t care. Not every parent can watch their kid 24/7, some people struggle with everyday problems, work etc. Hope that answers your questions.
Hello,
I’m in recovery from porn and sex addiction. Been addicted since age 13. Mom brought home a Hustler mag from cleaning hotels. Left it in the junk drawer in the kitchen and I found it. That’s where the addiction started. I think that I was born an addict though as the obsession for different things have manifested throughout my life. I’m in recovery from alcohol since September of 2012. Since being in recovery from alcohol, life has gotten substantially better and I have achieved much success. 37 years old w/ a 3 year old daughter. I’ve got a good career, home, and family. Been married for sixteen years. She has known I have an "issue"with porn, but does not know the depth of my addiction. I have tried to discuss this with her before, but it destroys her and before we get into any history it turns into knock out fighting.
I keep referring back to step nine from AA: “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.” I don’t want to live in secrecy anymore, but I can’t keep hurting her either. I’m thankful to be a part of this group where I can discuss my shit.
Hit day seven yesterday of sobriety from porn. Working the steps of SAA.
Anyone out there working the program willing to sponsor?
J.
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