I struggle with porn when my period is close but after it starts, I regain my senses and stop. When the next cycle is close, it starts all over again! It’s like a roller coaster and I am tired. I really want to quit! Advice please
2 Likes
I think it started when u was little and our help always forced me to watch porn with her friends and herself. It didn’t resurface until I was close to my 20’s. I am still in my early 20’s but it’s a huge problem and creates setbacks for me. I need help
2 Likes
Done - thx Andre!
1 Like
Welcome Lory. You are not alone in struggling with porn. Many people, men and women and all sexualities, struggle with it.
I can speak to my personal experience, which I’m happy to share, and if some is useful to you I’m glad. I realized as I started working my sobriety that porn was just a way for me to run from my life. It was a way to avoid thinking and feeling, to shut them off for a time. I didn’t accept myself; I didn’t see or acknowledge myself. I didn’t love myself.
Acceptance is something I am working on. Allowing my thoughts and feelings to be - accepting that they are part of me; they’re not good or bad, I don’t need to rush to judgment: I just need to acknowledge them, and sit with them for a time, not running or silencing - allowing myself the space to be my full self: that is what I am working on. It is one day at a time; it is gradual, but it is having a positive effect.
It is unfortunate that you were exposed to porn at such a young age, and by someone who was entrusted with your care. It is unfortunate that trust was betrayed - it was wrong.
But it is possible for you to grow past this - and that is what you need to do. It’s good that you’re reaching out for help. You’re taking the first step to building a new relationship with yourself - and you’ll be glad you did.
Take care and remember: you’re a good person who deserves a safe, sober life where you can be your full self. 
1 Like
Thank you so much. I really appreciate this and I hope I get better. Been counting the days I have been abstinent and it feels really good
Any addicts still lurking about and wanting to restart this thing?
So hard to get into a good porn vis when i use to watch , i use to be very perticular , would take for ever 2 find what i liked , so glad it was so off putting made it east to give up ,
What intrest u about it , everything ? All subjects ? Are are u perticular as well, also do u watch with ur partner or has it messed up relationship’s 4 u
I can relate. I would scroll or go from page to page unamused until I found what I craved but during that time I could spend countless hours binging. I’d sacrifice family time, procrastinate from doing tasks, sacrifice sleep or even use sick days from work just to act out. I was in a bad spot, forreal. I’d even go as to have multiple virtual texting/sexting partners all throughout the work day to lust with so that when I got home and off of work I would act out with them live via video or just pmo.
1 Like
Crazy , how long has it been since you’ve done this or is it still apart of ur life
41 days as of today, thank God. I don’t ever want to be that version of myself again.
2 Likes
Since that chaos, I attend SA meetings in-person, when feasible, or via Zoom. I make calls to my sponsor and other fellows daily. I have deleted all of my social media minus this new community and whatsapp to keep in contact with friends/fam and a couple of SA groups on whatsapp. I attend church and I am now seeking a therapist for one on one sessions as well. It’s all about progression and doing the next best right thing. I’m learning to surrender it ALL to my HP and that I can only control myself in situations.
If you have anymore questions or convo pieces, I’m down to share
2 Likes
I love it i will keep u in my prayers and pray for ur journey, stay strong
Do u have a partner or family / kids that help u stay busy
Thank you.
1 Like
A wife, soon to be ex ( we’re seperated), and 2 girls that are pretty active
Did the porn addiction result in the separation
1 Like
It was definitely a contributing factor. Lusting, fantasy, and being a lustaholic is the root cause for me and pornography was just an element of that. I lusted and also wanted to be lusted after, seeking validation from others outside of my relationship for that feeling. I would act out in various ways, to include pornography. But yes, I think overtime that aided in her ultimately saying enough is enough.
Months ago she was willing to try working on us. She was open to couples therapy for us to try to heal, whether that meant reuniting or calling it quits. She stated that she needed more intimacy, communication, attention… so I did exactly that and stepped my game up. But the more I did the things she suggested to me, she drew away and detached. So, since about May, the whole thing has been so confusing on my end. But as I said I’m doing and focusing on me now and being intentional about doing the next best right thing each moment.
I always wanted sobriety but I wasnt sure what that looked like or how to acquite it. I had stopped for short periods 1000 times before but it always crept back in. I had no system or anything to go off of to attain it. I went through severe phases of guilt, shame and self hatred for who I was and for putting her through my mess but I didnt know of any way to quit. I thought I would always be that person and it was infuriating and depresssing all at the same time.
It’s definitely a blessing for me to be where I am now. It still baffles me daily. So, I will keep on walking the path and doing what is needed to cling to this sober life, a life free of lusting, self hate, and acting out. I will continue to build healthy, meaningful relationships with my wife and woman in general and seek real connections rather than the fantasies and faux attachments that I developed and felt I needed.
2 Likes
Were you an addict to porn as well or were you in a relationship with one?
No ,never addicted , my addiction was with drugs , but being open to conversation and hearing what u went through. , sounds like all addiction is the same, the time we waste , the people we hurt, how we are seeking God , trying to love and value our selves ,
What was ur breaking point
That made u stop , what are triggers 4 u ? ,