Congratulations on your days! 
Getting beyond those first few weeks is awesome.
The first video I watched at the beginning of sobriety was of William Porter, explaining the physiological effects of alcohol. That video led me to several books about quitting, and here I am, 8 months sober tomorrow. It’s helping me tremendously to learn the behind-the-scenes affects of alcoholism on my brain, my thoughts, and my behaviors… and how to grow now that I’m alcohol-free.
Call congrats as well; statistics show relapse usually happens between 45-90 days. I will not meet that statistic and beyond; my Life fe depends on it!
Since becoming sober, I am learning to respect myself in new ways. I’m choosing to surround myself with positive and supportive people, here and in my daily life. I’m working on honoring my emotions and learning my strengths and weaknesses. And even though I long to have a relationship with my mom like the one my sister has with her, I’ve never had an issue with comparing myself to others. That’s one less thing I have to work on… thankfully. 
Addiction and Personal Responsibility: A Fundamental Conflict
“… there are two fundamental questions:
• Who is responsible for creating a problem?
• Moreover, who is responsible for solving it?”
https://www.mentalhelp.net/addiction/and-personal-responsibility/
“… one day I read in him, and he said, ‘There is a place in the soul that neither time nor space nor no created thing can touch.’ And I really thought that was amazing. And if you cash it out, what it means is that your identity is not equivalent to your biography, and that there is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there is still a sureness in you, where there’s a seamlessness in you, and where there is a confidence and tranquility in you. And I think the intention of prayer and spirituality and love is, now and again, to visit that inner kind of sanctuary."
~ John O’Donohue (speaking of Meister
Eckhart, the 14th century mystic)
I wanted to share this excerpt from an interview with John O’Donohue, author of Anam Cara. It’s a beautiful and inspiring thing to know that we have this place within us, a place that’s pure, untainted, virgin… a place untouched by pain. I strive daily, through meditation and prayer, to seek this original and authentic part of my soul. I believe staying in touch with that inner purity gives us the ability to revive, renew, and heal our lives.
I was listening to meditations for my son, who’s attempting sobriety, and came across this one. We’ve heard the saying you are not your thoughts, but I find it healing to know that we are not our addictions, our unhealthy habits, nor our negative patterns, either. They are not an integral part of us. Our addictions are separate and as so, we can release them without losing any piece of our true and authentic selves. That knowledge is inspiring to me, and I hope it will be for my son and for you. 
There is always a better way than turning to alcohol. 
FOREVER SHOULDN’T BE THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE MEASURE OF SUCCESS
I had a conversation yesterday about how we, as a society, have decided that “forever" is the only acceptable measure of achievement.
For example, a couple marries and it works out
for a while, but then, for whatever reasons, it stops working. The marriage ends in divorce and is considered a “failed” marriage. The same applies to failed businesses, failed friendships, failed ventures, and failed careers.
We rate and judge these experiences by whether
or not they last forever. But it’s ok to learn and
grow and change. It’s ok to realize that a situation or experience isn’t working for us anymore. That’s life. And it doesn’t mean the marriage or friendship or job wasn’t good while it lasted. It could have been, and we should acknowledge that. But if it doesn’t serve our greater good, if it hinders us from growing, we need to let it go. Moving on doesn’t mean we’ve failed, it shows strength, it shows we are in control of our lives. Our successes in life should never be defined by the idea that something has to last forever.
“After an extreme emotional break down, I had my first experience of a spiritual awakening. It felt like the world was crashing down around me. I was depressed. I was questioning who I was. At one point, I was planning to leave everything behind + move to Uruguay.
Escapism felt like the answer. And I was (very) ready to escape life as I knew it. That was the beginning of a journey of my own self discovery. I started my posts on Instagram right after this experience. As a previous analytical academic I became open to the mystical. And even though this was a serious threat to my ego identity - I slowly unlearned so much of the beliefs I had been taught as a clinical psychologist. I started to see people + life differently. I started to see myself differently. There’s always a period of healing where we have an identity crisis.
I believe that many people are going through these awakenings around the world. It’s not some ‘woo woo’ thing. We are learning we aren’t who we think we are. We are learning that we each have unique gifts. We are learning that we co-create life through our conscious choices.
May we all awaken to the truth of who we are. And may we create new systems that allow everyone to be in full self expression, together.”
Dr. Nicole LePera
HOW I’M ACHIEVING SOBRIETY RIGHT NOW
I’m learning that my sobriety journey is more about focusing on my commitment than struggling to find motivation. Inspiration tends to come and go, but when I remind myself of the “whys” I quit drinking, commitment to sobriety kicks in. If we can go back to that first day and remember all the reasons we said enough is enough, that can be a great source of motivation. I hold on to my whys.
Reading books and the shares of others here, watching videos, listening to podcasts… essentially gaining any knowledge I can about addiction and recovery helps me stay focused. This trip won’t end until I’ve passed from this life, so I’m not interested in my sobriety journey as a way of reaching a certain destination, milestone, or place in life. The excitement of learning new things about how my brain works, about emotions and ways to express them productively, and simply knowing myself better keeps me going. I’m in this for the long haul.
Meditation is helping tremendously. When thoughts become stagnant and I’m stuck in a mindset that doesn’t support my forward progress, I do whatever I can to quickly get rid of them. Focusing on my mental health, thinking about the positive in my life, speaking my gratitude, even using my imagination helps to get the negative thoughts out. For example, when I become upset and anxious about a situation, I stop everything and take several deep breaths; I meditate if I’m able; I name or rename the thoughts as random “things”, and I let them go. I always come back to the fact that we are not our thoughts, and we do have control over them.
Ultimately my goal is a healthy mind, body, and lifestyle. Like I said, I’m in this for the long haul. Now the alcohol is gone, I sometimes have a lot of time on my hands. I’m using that time to learn, to improve my mental hygiene and health, and to replace old habits with true self-care… practicing gratitude, moving and stretching my body, replacing toxic people with people who inspire me, replacing overthinking with action, paying better attention to the foods I eat, and getting enough rest and sleep. I’m listening to my body and my soul, something I never did while in addiction. And it’s making a positive difference in my life.
THE COCOON STAGE OF HEALING
by Dr. Nicole LePera
The cocoon stage of healing is when you feel drawn to spend time alone, to truly connect to yourself. You want to avoid small talk, you question long held beliefs, and no longer do things out of guilt or obligation. Your relationships might no longer feel like they’re fulfilling or like you no longer share the same values and interests.
This stage can feel very isolating and confusing because you’ll be questioning everything: your career, everything you’ve been taught, your family dynamics, etc.
Self Care During the Cocoon Stage:
After the cocoon stage, you will re-enter the world as a new version of yourself.
@ShesGotMoxie really great thread. Thanks so much for sharing all of this wonderful information 
I agree! @ShesGotMoxie It’s taken me awhile to get caught up reading here but I finally did today and I love this thread Carolyn!
Thanks a bunch, ladies! 
It makes me happy for someone besides me to get something out of it. 
@Alycia @anon9289869
Very Informative Read!
Cruising through your thread on a sleepless night (after saying I wasn’t going to scroll if I had insomnia 
) but I just wanted to say that writing my gratitude at the end of each daily journal entry, pen to paper, has been an impactful activity for me. I have reduced my screen time quite a bit in the last few months or so, so I don’t get on the gratitude thread or other areas of TS every day, but if I am keeping up with my journal and ending on that note of what I am grateful for it really boosts my mood. This is especially true for processing what else I have written about, if it’s tough feelings/thoughts. I hope you’ve tried it out! And thank you for all the great info here!
Thanks for sharing! I know people who believe they don’t have a drinking problem because they’re only drinking on the weekend. I’m glad some focus is being put on binge drinking, because it’s just as destructive as drinking daily.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with insomnia again. I hope this phase passes you by quickly. 
I agree about physically writing down our gratitude and feelings! I’m not here everyday either for that very reason. I’ve learned that putting pen to paper is an act of love towards myself. Sometimes I get on a roll and those are the times I realize afterwards that I really needed to process my feelings. I’m happy you’re doing that for you! I’m grateful you’re here, Rosa. 
