Hey guys, I’m a year and two months sober, and the last couple months I’ve been seriously doubting if I want to keep going. I was really enjoying sobriety for the first year, but now I kind of feel “over it”. Like I did my time and I want to be done now. Does anyone else feel like it got harder after a year?
I’m past a year and still don’t miss one damn thing about drinking. Making more of sobriety and life, now… that takes a little creativity and motivation.
Some days it can seem boring, but if my biggest problem is boredom life is pretty damn good!
Nooo it got a lot easier try new things sober you don’t want to break your lifestyle change there was a reason you stopped. I highly suggest you continue to explore the sober life!
I am a few days shy of a year and four months sober. Has it gotten harder? No. Has it gotten different? Yes.
My first few months were truely about nothing other than how to live an hour…then a day…without alcohol. I did not know how to cope with the stressors of daily life without it. Even when there was little stress, I had become psychologically dependent on it. As the months went on, those cravings and that horrible preoccupation with alcohol lessened. As I approached a year, there were entire days that alcohol didn’t cross my mind - and the benefits were so very clear.
This second year seems to have unfrozen a lot of the feelings and memories I numbed with alcohol. The emotional work is hard - but I know that if I don’t do it, I’ll drink again. So perhaps some of the early adrenaline and seeing almost daily improvements has slacked - but growing into the person I am supposed to be can only happen if I am sober. The alternative is to make a conscious choice to wreck my life and the lives of those I care about - and I pray that I remain grateful enough not to do that.
“If my biggest problem is boredom life is good” Well stated
First Congrats on your time. I am sure it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. I completely understand how you feel also. At a year I had some awkward feelings about sobriety but I always had my last drink which was a train wreck reminding me that I didn’t want to go back to that shit.
The second year passed and it has become easier. I enjoy sobriety now. I can be just as silly and have as much fun if not more than I did when I was drunk.
One really cool thing is I am getting to know who I am and surprisingly I like what I see.
I would kill to have a year. I say keep going.
When you say over it, and you want to be done now, what do you mean? What is it that you actually want and do you really believe that not being sober is the answer?
I am just over a year and 3 months. I am in a place where I feel like there should be something more. But like @MoCatt I know that drinking will not help me turn into the person I am supposed to be.
Sometimes life feels like a slog but I think that’s normal. Also remember that when we are feeling negative, we tend to assume that this is how we will always feel. This too shall pass
Congrats on having over a year of sobriety. That’s incredible. I definitely can relate to the “over it” feeling. I’m 10 and a half months sober and I’ve had that feeling a few times. But then I think about it as @siand says… why? What is it that I want to happen that sobriety can’t give me. And what I realize is that that “over it” feeling has nothing to do with alcohol and everything to do with motivation. Sobriety is fucking hard. It takes a lot of work and energy. Thinking that the “over it” feeling will be satisfied if I drink means that Im getting tired of putting in the hard work. Which also means I need to find that motivation within myself again to keep going. When I say “I’m over it”, I essentially say “ok. I’m done. I give up on working hard in myself because it’s too much and I just want things to be easy” unfortunately, life isn’t easy sober or not and life isn’t always magically and awe inspiring. There are days that are dull, mundane, and boring. Drinking won’t change any of that except most likely make things just mundane and more difficult.
That’s just my two cents. I hope you make the decision that is best for you! stay strong.
You wrote this a year ago. Do you think all these things won’t come back in full force?
I know a few people who made it to a year, that big ass milestone and then let the thoughts creep in, and slowly wittle down their resolve until they drink. The guys I know where back to handles within 2-3 weeks.
Like the others asked, what’s missing? Life can seem kinda dull sober, I know it, I keep finding new hobbies to work on and I’m still pretty happily sober at 19 months.
By all means, go back out. I think you’ll find out that sobriety will always be the best decision. Why intake poison at all? There is no benefit to it.
Makes you more socially amenable? That’s not the real you, you’re changing your true self to fit a mold. Want to numb painful feelings? You will suffer for it in the future. Like the taste? There are a billion other things better to drink.
No good reason to use.
At 4 years and 11 months sober, I can’t imagine ever going back to drinking. What is it you think you’re missing?
My life is far from perfect but there’s not one thing that was better when I was drinking. My apartment looked like shit and I couldn’t see it, I had no money because I used it all to drink, I embarrassed myself on the regular trying to drink my way to better relationships (disaster), I weighed 40 more pounds when I drank, never worked out, was sick all the time, hated myself in the morning, humiliated myself regularly, and I had no idea how to spend my time other than getting shitfaced.
I see people posting on social media about drinking now and I never feel envy. Instead what I see is sad. I see a lack of ideas, lack of creativity. And a failure to recognize that drinking is an escape from something, not a destination.
I see refrains like “at least I have alcohol!” which are always met with a slew of “likes” and “amens” as if it’s the height of humor and relatability. It’s so weird to read these posts now and not see them as admissions of weakness and of a lack of ideas and creativity.
I look at the faces of my friends and acquaintances when they are drinking, and see the bloat and the glassy eyes. I see them and I remember the feeling of being bloated. I remember the feeling of vomiting, the bile in my throat, the horrible hangovers, sleeping all day to try to feel normal again.
I remember the time in my life when drinking was my favorite thing, counting down hours until it was socially acceptable to get drunk.
I can’t imagine returning to a life where my idea of fun was blasting myself into unconsciousness.
I work in a restaurant and regularly see what drugs and alcohol lead to. That used to be me! Having that constant reminder helps keep this feeling you are describing away.
Can you go to a meeting and help newcomers? Can you volunteer at a place that is recovery focused? Or maybe just have a read around here about relapses? I need the constant reminder of how awful the struggle was, both in active addiction and at the beginning of recovery. Keeps me honest. Most importantly it keeps me sober. 2 years and 2 months clean and complacency is my greatest fear. With my job, that will probably never be an issue.
OMG! PREACH! This was so beautifully put together. Well said.
Tues. Will be a year sober for me and about 2 weeks ago I had the same feelings. I wanted the year sober to say I did it, but then the thoughts changed, what kind of life is it without the things I enjoy. Those thoughts were imposed upon me from inside and outside factors and I gave them their due. Then I reevaluated, took an inventory and weighed the options and positive aspects of sobriety. Among the long list is, healthier, smarter, wiser and more accessible for my family. Among the negatives were, shortened life (almost for certain) hangovers, and the possibility of a plethora of legal troubles… No thank you was my determination and sobriety wins. Take an honest inventory, if being a drunk struggling member of society wins your test, have at it. Eventually you’ll need to return reality. Good luck.
If anything, sobriety got easier after a year, for me.
I gotta ask what made you want to quit 14 months ago, and what has changed that would lead you to believe you can go back to drinking, and somehow get it “right” this time?
Damn!!! I cannot thank you enough for posting this, I swear I could read this every day and it would never get old. THANK YOU
Oh good, I’m so glad it’s helpful to you!
All your posts are so inspiring from the lessons you’ve learned from your past to the cute cats and beautiful pictures of nature. Thanks again, have a good Sunday