Talk to @Lionfish Kellie, please.
Think about what could happen here. You’ve already relapsed because of him.
Do you want to do that again. How can you help him when you can’t even help yourself.
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And now his mom is calling me. This just keeps getting worse.
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You poor girl; let her know you are also at the very beginning of recovery and are not equipped to be doing interventions or babysitting. Maybe say it nicer but let her know it’s not something you can do rn.
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I agree with Donna. You have to let her know how it is for you.
If you are honest with her she may be able to nudge him a but more just by saying that you can’t deal with him.
Might knock some sense into him.
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You don’t have to answer your phone or respond to texts. Why the hell did he leave detox?
Block, block, block. It is the most loving thing you can do. Boundaries are what help people find their healthy life - and boundaries are something you can and should set here (for yourself as much as for them).
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I’m done. I’ve blocked him. One last slew of nasty name calling and demands and I have even finally had enough. He can keep bouncing from jail to jail. I am 40 years old and have had this addiction issue for 4. Spent most of 2020 in rehab. Im done circling the drain. I should be celebrating 110 days sober and instead I’m at 10. And I’m not blaming him,…I own my relapse fully. However, I can’t do this. My mental and emotional health are shit. I don’t want him to die but i don’t want to either. And he is pushing me right now and if that makes me weak -then oh freaking well i am weak. But he isn’t worth relapsing again. Sorry if that sounds seriously selfish.
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Don’t apologize for how you feel, Kellie, especially when you’re fighting for your life and sanity.
We’re here for you, girl. 
and I’m proud of you, it was hard but your self preservation is strong!
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You did the right thing Kelly. You’re a good person who deserves a safe, sober life where she can be her full self.
As you start walking your path of healthy independence it will feel unfamiliar. Your “addict brain” will chime in, romanticizing your addiction - it’ll feel familiar and that will be tempting. But find a supportive sober group & trust the process of sobriety. You will find a new sober self, and she’s interesting and reflective and self aware. She’s great.
Do you have some meetings you attend? What’s your plan for keeping yourself sober? Not trying to be nosy but it’s worth thinking it over - and honestly, it’s nice to think “ok! I’m done with this drama so now I’m looking forward to _____” 
Thank you 
I just wish I FELT better. I still feel so guilty.
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You don’t have to save him. That’s not reasonable and it’s not fair. Would anyone blame a passenger for a car accident? No. Driving the car is the responsibility of the driver. It’s simple. It doesn’t make it easy to watch - it’s hard to see people struggle - but there’s only one driver seat and only one person can drive - and it has to be him.
The really important question now is what do you need for your health and safety? What do you need, now, to be your best self?
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This gal has no plan. And its no ones fault but me. Meetings are everywhere but i just dont/wont/cant get the balls to go to one alone. I have no local support. No sponsor. This guy was the only recovery based friend i had. I went to treatment away from my hometown so i didnt meet anyone local. I go to chemical dependency therapy once a week and individual therapy once a week. And this app. My ex bf runs a sober house and helps me as much as he can without compromising his boundaries with me.
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You’re a good person, that’s why. I’d say if you were a year or 2 into your sobriety it’d be a different scenario, but you have to cone first. Matt said some great things too. It’s ok to be selfish rn.
It does seem daunting to go into a meeting by yourself but you’ll feel very welcomed.
I did it fir a first time, I literally said out loud in the car “let’s do this”, lol.
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Just ordered that book on Amazon 
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It’s nervous to attend meetings. It’s tough because of all the shame associated with using and addiction. It’s hard to say, I don’t know what to do and I feel weak and I need help.
There are a lot of meetings options to choose from. There’s a good selection here:
Resources for our recovery
Many of them have online options (look around at the sites). You can usually attend these meetings and just listen - that’s nice on those first visits. It feels so good when you realize you’re not alone. It’s like a huge weight, off your shoulders.
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And you can keep your camera and microphone off too if you just want to listen on the virtual meetings.
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Its weird how I was able to participate in group and our “meeting” and when i would go with my ex to his home group meeting i was ok. But i have to be able to do it on my own. My ex is great, dont get me wrong …but he is busy enough
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But to go to a meeting all alone here at home is straight up terrifying. I tried to go to a NA meeting and they lost me at the hugs lol.
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Physical touch is hard. Especially in a space like a recovery meeting where you’re feeling exposed / vulnerable.
Every meeting is different, they’ve all got different participants and a different feel. It will probably help to “shop around” a bit with different meetings until you find one you’re more comfortable in. Ultimately what matters is that you own your health and balance - nobody else. That’s a very empowering thing & frees you from dependence (on addictions or people). But it also means you have to take some determined steps outside your comfort zone.
Trust yourself. You’re a good person and you can do this. Stick with it and never give up 
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