Hit some serious temptation today brothers. I was on edge a bit and went on YouTube looking for something - some funny loop I’d seen when I was a teenager, but what pulled up was a whole lot of fanfare. It was hard, bit I turned it down. I stopped searching for the loop - never found it, and started listening to music.
Glad to have you guys by the fire 
you’re a strength to me.
I also had some strong temptation today and I think your strength sent me some vibes (or however that stuff works) because it was to a level where I normally cave and this time I was more resistant!
Strength in numbers my friend. You guys support me more than you know. If I can be a strength for you too, I’ll do it.
Strength in numbers we are all fighting the same war. Win the moment, win the day. Keep sober and happy. Thats the endgame.
We’re all in the same battle. I’m working the wknd so know already Monday morning will be my weak point - keep me in your thoughts and prayers! Glad you are all keeping it together. I’m day 9 now…wonderful feeling of a burden lifted!
Keep up the good work bro. Day 79 for me. Whenever I come across something sketchy… like the other day before I do anything else I reflexively say whatever day I’m on. I just can’t go back to zero. Forward. Thats the only direction I will accept in 2022.
Thanks Bomdhil. I pray for St. Sharbel’s intercession a lot too. Appreciate the comment on my avatar.
I have to remind myself that it’s ok do be bored, to feel down it’s not something that is wrong with me. I don’t have to flee from the moment. Often it takes a while for me to accept it and to be in the moment. I find my self flipping through my phone only to putt it down and pick up my other work phone and to go through the same sites like news sites, fb etc all over again searching for that dopamine fix. I stopped using instagram some moths ago same for all the dating apps don’t think I can use them ever again they trigger me really hard. But I’m so used to try to “fix” the moment do something interesting find something interesting. P used to be the big prices, for hard work or some other excuses. I have probably used it for some 21+ years even putting it before being intimate with a real gf. I can feel really stupid about the last part, and ashamed. But seeing it from the view of the brain it’s simple. Big reward for no effort. Nothing is on the line you have zero risk for a huge kick. So in the boredom I feel like it’s being in recharge mode I can’t be on a high all the time it’s good for me and even if it feels like it’s unbearable and it will kill me it wont.
Do you feel different from day to day? I usually have periods of feeling better and then lower. I’m only 22 days in and had have headaches in a way I usually don’t have.
Also gave the link to easypeasy to a friend today he was very interested looking forward to talk to him about it. Trying to get my brother to read/listen to it but he his very against it I feel I get irritated and almost angry at him I know to little/can’t remember all the facts and he is saying a lot of old stuff about science etc. I really think he would benefit.
Hope you all are bored! 
Being bored stinks. It is when I am at my weakest. I know I have to learn on embracing my boredom rather than acting out. Glad to hear that I am not the only one that struggles when boredom strikes.
What is everyone’s thoughts on pursuing relationships in the early stages of sobriety? I was told that pursuing my exgirlfriend is a bad idea since I am in the early stages of sobriety (5 days). I was told that I should have a year of sobriety before pursuing any relationships. What does everyone think of this bit of advice?
I’ve never heard any kind of limitation on relationships, that being said I respect the fact that everyone is different. Above all, you should choose what’s right for you.
That being said, I worry about any notion of returning to an ex girlfriend. There are numerous reasons why relationships end, and I wonder if those reasons are important enough to keep you two apart. Was it an unhealthy relationship? Did she do something? Did you do something? We’re neither of you compatible?
I encourage you brother, think long and hard before you go back to this woman. The loneliness is real, but being in a toxic relationship is much worse.
This is so interesting to read thanks for sharing from a longer perspective. So want to be there myself looking back. 
I really appreciate all of you who is sharing.
@Stilly I totally get we’re you are coming from. I get thoughts like, I feel so sorry for myself, I’m worth it, it’s my sexlife for now etc. A lot of pity thoughts. It’s the little monster convincing me and the more I doesn’t respond the less these thoughts are in control I feel.
Don’t know if I will make a year, at the moment I’m starting to get inspired to go out and meet someone. Or should I at least do 90 days of no orgasm? How ever this might not mean I have to sleep with the first best I might just want to be close to someone. 
Got a week in today. Don’t know how to paste my badge here to show my victory. However it’s legit. Hoping to continue with small victories and progress along on the Sobriety Train. Choo Choo!
Had an 11 day run but on Monday morning acted out by surfing porn on the Internet. Really frustrating and just reinforced the truth that PMO offers no relief of stress and is the cause of so many problems. It fulfills nothing but creates insecurity, stress and leads to brokenness! Got straight back in the fight so guess I’m 2 days now after resetting the counter. Even now I feel such relief to be away from that rubbish. Need to push past 11 days and totally abstain from porn for good. Self talk and dealing with triggers, withdrawal and so on.
Hope you’re all pushing ahead!
Day 84
Way to get back up and keep fighting. You can be done bro, as you’ve said, everytime you watch, you just put yourself back in the cycle. I’m a 20+ year addict and i know i’m done forever, thrown in the trash, never to be watched again. 2 things in life i’ve been wanting to do: stop porn and learn to cook. Last night, 83 days into my freedom, i made dinner for my family. Something is definitely happening to me at age 40 i’m been waiting on forever: i’m actually growing as an individual. Gaining confidence, you see this addiction destroyed my self esteem from age 12 to 40. But i’m free, doesn’t mean i dont deal with temptation, i just react differently these days. I’ve talked about combing the easypeazymethod with bible principles. That combo is my gamechanger.
Proverbs 22:3
The shrewd one sees the danger and conceals himself,
But the inexperienced keep right on going and suffer the consequences.
Think about that. The principle is simple: Being Shrewd, we know our triggers, we know when the danger happens (boredom, surfing the internet), but if we have safeguards in place (eazypeazymethod, internet blockers, talkingsober) when that trouble happens we can protect ourselves. Or we can just keep on going and you know what happens next.
Sorry this is so long winded!
Excellent points and thank you for that encouragement. You are doing great in your journey and I can see the freedom you are reaping from such a commitment. I’m longing for that!! Right now I feel highly motivated to not re enter the cycle. I too, see the lies of PMO and it is so worthless. Just need to deconstruct the fallacies that creep in, spot the triggers and tear them down. I’ve rarely made it past 10-14 days but this time no matter what I’m not going to dabble or let even a hint of this behaviour remain. I’m finished with this poison.
Here’s another great verse:
’ I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live’ Deut 30v19
Your family are already being blessed by your new life!
That is a great verse! Choose Life, love it.
You seem to have a great mindset, don’t judge yourself and beat yourself up. It is human to make mistakes. Meet yourself with compassion, calmness and curiosity. When you feel the urge, sit in the moment let the feelings and thoughts come and just be present see them change and let them go when they do. I used to have a lot of anxiety and this has helped a lot. You will not always feel like that. For me I used to have a feeling that I needed to do it pmo or mo if I didn’t something bad would happen. However it didn’t. Easypeasy really shifted my perspective.
Wish you all the best we are all in this together.
Thanks. You are right. Mindfulness. Self talk. No fear as its powerless if we don’t pick it up. The paper tiger analogy.
Wish you strength and mastery over this poison.