Nice observation, I feel less needy and agreeable, it’s like it’s easier to tell people to their face what I think and feel. How ever I’m meeting some friends to for dinner and to go clubbing post corona. I haven’t had any alcohol since New Years I’m a little afraid I might pmo if I do. And I’m feeling like a party pooper if I tell them I won’t drink. I know this goes against what I said before but it’s just habits we always drink and often more then needed.
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100%. I’m on Day 86. Have you read the easypeasymethod.org? It talks about that brainwashing convincing you that one more look is ok, which of course is the worst thing you can do. After 20 years, i used this method to break free, and i’m 100% done with the trash. I have experienced that sensation before reading the book, allowing my ‘little monster’ to dictate that i needed that garbage, which of course is just not true. Watching porn is drinking bleach, destroying you from the inside. Your brain is crying out for dopamine, PMO being the worst form on planet earth. Once you expose the lies, get good at self talking, it will pass. Win the moment, win the day. If you look up in this thread, we have alot of great tools that can help you on your journey. i’ll be glad to help you, and we will in turn help each other.
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Every time I have told myself “one time is okay” it turns into more than once. Not for me. Easypeasy does have a very good chapter about turning away for good, just as our friend said
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Welcome to the fire, Marci!
Yes, I think this is a very common theme among those who struggle with PMO. It’s the mentality of, “Since I’ve gone this long without it, I’m safe right? I’ll never fail again?”
I want to make it very clear that we shouldn’t be afraid of PMO. The simple fact is, this is a very prevalent part of the world in which we all live. Pmo is always going to be there and if we’re always afraid of it, how can any of us truly heal? I did not condone fear or supporting the idea that we always have to be afraid of pmo. There’s no true healing in being afraid.
However, we sometimes can fall into that trap of feeling invincible where we feel we can engage in normal behaviors and be free from triggering situations. And this is simply not the case. Any one of us can fall on the road of recovery. I’m four and a half months into my recovery and I still have situations come up where I’m very tempted to engage or I’m faced with material on the internet and I could easily indulge. Happened just the other day in fact. But that doesn’t mean I have to be afraid of it. If I’m following the steps of recovery, and I’m being open and honest with myself and with my spouse, and with all my brothers and sisters in recovery; that’s when true healing takes place.
Again, welcome 
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Yeah, whenever I’ve told myself just one more time in the past, it has been an immediate end to my recovery and I end up being in a whirlwind of relapse and heartbreak. Just one more time doesn’t work for me, it never has.
One more time … such a lie, isn’t it. I’ve been there so so so many times. Even just doing a kind of dress rehearsal for one more time is deadly. For example toying with the idea of surfing an old site or flicking through social media sites which are dangerous to us or whatever it is for you. Each of us have trigger points and I’m so guilty of re visiting past triggers. It’s the bleach analogy all over. PMO is drinking bleach and mentally we know that but then we look at the glasses in our kitchen cupboard. We maybe see the bleach bottle. We smell the bleach. We pour the glass of bleach. Toying with the thought. We haven’t drank it yet but it’s all part of the process. I need to break this all down. I’m off next week so looking forward to clearing my head of pmo even more! I hate it’s lies and illusions - robs us of our joy in life!! Stay strong my friends!!
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Starts in the mind brother
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How is everyone doing?
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Have had a good stretch thanks. Its a real high when you are done with pmo and can see that clearly! Not saying I’m letting my guard down though as it’s easy to fall for some illusion a day later and fall flat on your face. Just embracing this freedom and thankful for it - so thankful!
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Yeah buddy! That’s what I like to see🔥
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I’m thinking about becoming a sponsor. After a zoom meeting with they other brothers in my SA group, I got in touch with the moderators and they thought I’d do really well. I do want to help people find recovery, but I also know it’s a big responsibility. They also asked me to get my own sponsor. I think that’s a great idea, but I wouldn’t know who to ask.
Lots of thoughts today.
As far as how I’m doing, I’m at about 138 days. I talked to my wife the other day and said with confidence that I had not lusted after another woman in 4 months. It was a really tender experience, and I’ve been attracted to other women, even sexually drawn towards others, but I haven’t once fantasized about engaging in sexual relations with them. Just my wife.
It was the first time I’ve seen her cry while talking about porn, when NOT confessing relapse. I tell ya brothers, the level of confidence that came with it… The level of pride and graduate was indescribable.
Stay strong out there
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That’s fantastic!!
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Nice one… a real encouragement to me!
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I think you’d make a good sponsor - lots of experience and advice. Glad to hear!!
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Thank you for that inspiring post. It’s just what I needed. My story is similar to yours, after 30 years of darkness and 4 years of struggling to quit I feel like I’m ready, I’ve gradually made progress, learned lessons and it’s time to put it all together.
I’m forging ahead, just like a bull! One day at a time.
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That’s bro… how’s it going?
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How are you my friend? I’m day 9. I’m on alert as I struggle a lot at this stage and getting past day 20. I can literally feel the little monster and brainwashing ganging up to try to draw me back!! Little thoughts, sexual references in the news, some fantasies on waking up. Even watching a TV programme there…pretty tame and OK but then some mild nudity. Wouldn’t bother a lot of people but have to avert my eyes and immediately catch myself on from going there!! Feel I’m running a commentary in my mind deconstructing all these lies and recognising the triggers. I’m more and more aware that there literally is a war going on with us on one side trying to seek purity and authentic life while on the other side the world’s pmo machine keeps churning out fallacies about what a man-woman interaction should look like. Great putting these observations down here as it gets things straight and clear in my head. Hope you’re all staying in the fight and near this fire!
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