Yes! Congratulations!
Congratulations!
JUST A QUICK NOTE FROM EASY PEEZY I WANTED TO SHARE:
PMO INVOLVES SELF SABOTAGING THE HAPPINESS RECEPTORS AND THUS DESTROYS YOUR CHANCES TO COPE AND FEEL HAPPY.
- IT’S LIKE THE VERY THING YOU WANT TO ‘RELIEVE YOU’ IS PLUNGING YOU INTO MISERY.
THE ONLY REASON YOU FIRE UP THAT BROWSER IS TRYING TO END THE EMPTY FEELINGS THE PREVIOUS SESSION CREATED.
JUST REMEMBER: PNOG DESTROYS YOUR NERVES RATHER THAN RELAXING THEM.
TO BE CLEAR: PNOG DOESN’T FILL A VOID, IT CREATES ONE!
I thought on my 4 month day, i wanted to review my points to make it to 5 months. Just wanted to share with the group. Have a great day everyone!
It does take a few days of getting used to, to feel more natural about it. At first it feels artificial. But it will have an impact, for sure. In my case it had an impact within two weeks. I remember one day turning to my wife and saying, “Yes! Exactly. Yes.” It was a sense of me being seen that I hadn’t felt in a very long time. (Maybe ever - we never learned these communication techniques in the early days of our marriage.)
I get that - absolutely. Take it one moment at a time and remember, no one needs you to be everything and everyone. You need to be one thing at a time, and you need to be humble and remember you’re not gonna remember everything and you’re not going to know or be everything. You’re just you, and that’s good enough. 
Freed also in the panic of leaving my phone somewhere or always needing with me, loaded with my porn apps. I freely hand it over anytime my partner wants to look at it. Nothing there.
I’m on day 4 of sobriety from this. I had 16 days clean after 19 years of pornography and sex and love addiction. I had just got out of treatment, I discovered I had some pictures of an affair partner I was with before I went for treatment still in my trash folder on my phone. Before I deleted them, I used them to act out. Not a proud moment. But I didn’t let it suck me back into the cycle of addiction.
I made some phone calls, hit an online SA meeting and got back on the wagon. Today has been the hardest day. My “entitlement” is crouching at the door. Combined with my ego and my pride, it tries to convince me I deserve more. I do not. And escaping to pornography will not fill the void. I know this, and I know how it makes me feel afterwards… more empty than when I arrived. Then the shame and guilt drives me further into the darkness.
Glad I found this thread. I have been struggling with preoccupational thinking today and it feels good to get my feelings off my chest. It was encouraging reading some of these posts.
Thanks guys. Here’s to keeping it clean one day at a time.
Long time no speak! Glad to see you’re doing so well @BeardedSandMan.
I’m coming up to my 90 days but I’m trying not to pay too much attention to the day count so I can focus on working on the aspects of my life I was using PMO to escape from in the first place. With sobriety comes a bit more clarity, confidence and competence to tackle it all. Still a long way to go but starting to turn a corner.
Stay on the path everybody…you can change things, it’s never too late 
Hello group,
I’m in a really bad place today feeling tons of shame and frustration and my life feels like it’s falling apart (though I know I am dramatizing this) and I’m sitting here craving so bad it hurts - because I want to drink the bleach, I want to escape, even if I know it’s all a fallacy. It won’t help and it won’t change anything. But I still am just sitting here seemingly unable to say no. I know I can do it - nobody is forcing me to do this and I don’t need it to survive but it seems to have so much power.
I’ve been asking myself recently - what do you want? Do I want to live a clean life? Do I want the lasting satisfaction of knowing I have put this drug behind me? Or do I truly want a fleeting pleasure sought out with temerity regarding my true well-being?
This answer (though it should be so clear) is so fuzzy when the craving hits. Every ounce of my body tells me yes, but the one piece that knows the truth says no. I have to listen to that one piece. I have to.
Love you guys, thanks for your support - I couldn’t make the right choice without you.
lil nate
I know what you mean. I’ve been there a few times after knowing better. Why am I craving something that has no value?
But I still see that you’re understanding that this bleach won’t give you anything. That’s a good start. You know that you’re not missing out by quitting.
But I hear you. There have been times when my instincts tell me that I just need that rush of dopamine. That’s what the drug does. It sucks me in and makes me want more. But the pleasure is simply an illusion. Porn promises pleasure and fulfillment but never delivers. Instead, I’m always left empty.
I know if I act out again, I’m ultimately going to come back here and start over. What’s the point of picking up that bleach again? It’s just easier to keep my heart clean in the first place then to clean it up after it’s been defiled.
Hang in there. You’ll have better days ahead.
I have been in your shoes for 20+years. I know that feeling bro. And yet……you already know the truth and how this ends. It’s that braining washing asking you for one more look to get you back on that wheel. You know that wheel….it’s on this thread. It just creates a bigger void. The shame leads to wanting to act out again and the cycle continues. So when it becomes unbearable again…… make a phone call to someone anyone and win that moment by focusing on someone else. Have your blockers in place for those moments. We know it’s bleach we’ve read the book now……….if it gets too unbearable take a cold shower I’ve done it before!!! Do whatever it takes to win the moment. You will get stronger every day from these little a victories.
Good morning everyone(evening for some)
Day 127 - How is everyone doing? I was feeling toxic and for the first time started to feel a bit of withdrawal. And then i realized what was really happening. I jumped on TS, did a grateful post, checked in, and re-read alot of my post. That tricky ‘little monster’. That brainwashing. I shined a bright light on that nonsense and re-balanced my brain. TS, and specifically Easy/Way and this chat have been the weapon i’ve needed in this war. That fleeting moment is now gone, and i’ve won the day.
Well done. I need to keep reminding myself of why pmo is something I never want to go back to. Over time it’s so easy to start minimising the hazards of acting out. What’s TS?
Talking sober
Ah, I get it! - thanks.
The theme this month for me has been gratitude. Gratitude that I’ve finally made some real progress on my road of recovery, gratitude for my wife and her patience through my journey, gratitude for all my brothers in recovery and for the new friends I’ve made along the way, most of all gratitude for God’s forgiveness, His mercy, His grace, and His love.
I’m here for you my brothers. I may not post daily, but I’m always here 
.
Press on!
Great read! And glad for you.
Congrats bro! What an achievement. Keep up the good work!!!
Messed up today after a good run…so frustrated. Have reset my sober counter and will get back in the fight without any self pity.