I’m still hanging in here. I agree - greatest feeling when you get to the end of the day without yielding to the temptation. A clear conscience is wonderful. Still visualise pmo as you suggested… a paper tiger…I must not pick it up and give it the power. It is nothing, zero value and dead to me as long as I don’t pick it up! Have a great day walking in the light of freedom!
2 Likes
48 days - awesome achievement. I often imagine what we will be like at 90 days…clear conscience, integrity, more confident and able to deal with stress in life- fullness of life and authentic people! Keep going!
Clear Conscience, integrity, more confident = EVERYTHING I’M FIGHTING FOR.
Today is Day 49. Talkingsober.com - I understand why people who are at like day 1500 still check in. Accountability. A reminder of what you dont EVER WANT TO GO BACK TO. Even at 49 days, there are folks who would DIE TO GET TO 49 DAYS. I’m not better than ANYONE, let me say that! But you do need to appreciate the journey and be proud of where your going. You talking about years where i couldn’t get to 10 days! 2 weeks! I wish I would have found #easypeazy back in 2010. But i didn’t CAUSE IT DIDN’T EXIST. But i’m here now. That’s all that matters, the past is the past and negativity is counterproductive. Keep it positive and keep it moving!
2 Likes
My brothers!
Today, I finally hit triple digits! The big 100. The last time I hit 100 was a year ago when I only went 9 more days and relapsed. Today however, I feel much healthier in my recovery and I’m proud to stand and say I’m clean.
A few bumps along the way: I do have my bad days. Not necessarily with temptation, but with resurfacing regret and shame of the past. These times of regret last anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks, but the longer I stay away, the more comfortable I get in my recovery. I’ve begun to prove to myself in small ways that I’m a changed man, and the more I can FEEL the truth of that, the more I believe it.
Second, lust still happens sometimes. It’s a natural part of the world we live in. We can’t avoid it 100% of the time, but what we can do is actively choose how to handle it in the moment - fast forward the movie or show, change the channel, back out of the webpage, bounce your eyes, focus on beauty not lust or desire; these things help change my initial response to triggers.
Third, always be aware that recovery is an active process. If you relax and start thinking all is well and believe you CAN’T fall, that’s when you start to slip. That’s not to say you should be afraid of relapse and always carry fear and anxiety in your heart, but always work towards healing and recovery. I don’t believe in, “Once an addict always an addict” you can truly change, but you can also become addicted again very easily.
Stay by the fire brothers. Help others come to the light, and fight the darkness 
7 Likes
Super progress on reaching 100 days! You are a great encouragement to us in our journey.
1 Like
Yea, it’s a great book. Even when I re-read parts of it it has a way of bringing me back to the battle!
1 Like
Your 3 things you mentioned, 100% agree. It’s a war. We are confident not cocky. That’s why i talk about being careful not to think that we are now ‘normal’ and can just get online no worries i can just get on tik tok or instagram (i’m speaking about myself). I can’t do it. Getting to 100 is a big deal, and getting closer to what you had last year is a critical step.
Getting to 365 and beyond, i will re-read my book many times while continuing to refine my personality, how i see woman, and how i react to temptation. It’s a constant process of improvement, NOT PERFECTION.
2 Likes
Just checking in. Things going well so far. Even at the end of a busy week feel so clearer in my head and have a clear conscience- wonderful! Have a good weekend folks!
2 Likes
I’m very much ready for the weekend haha, it’s been a long week.
1 Like
Same here, todays day 51 - just trucking right along!
1 Like
The heading of the OP makes me a bit confused. Are fapping by itself becoming an issue on its own merits or is it the combination of fapping and pornography that makes the issue? A 3rd options appears though: is the main issue attached to pornography and compulsive behaviour?
1 Like
Great question. This is a group dedicated to helping those who deal with pornography and subsequent masturbation - and especially porn and masturbation done together - to overcome the habit/addiction.
Pornography causes so much damage in our time. It warps the mind, dulls sensitivity, breaks hearts, ruins family relationships, and ultimately destroys lives. I invite all those who struggle in the darkness of pornography and masturbation to come, sit by my fire, come out of the darkness, and be free. Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you porn is extremely destructive, and my revenge against that darkness is to help as many people as I can find sobriety, companionship, and joy in the light.
6 Likes
Thanks for the kind response to my post. So I guess this group is kinda open ended then?
For me personally, fapping isnt really an issue as I’m a single man and consider it to be a stress reliever. I condemned the activity for many years as I was told in church that it was a mortal sin and one requiring confession. The forbiden fruit just got even more desirable when rules where still in play. I’m still considering it to be a sinful activity, but more on the venial side of the scale. I do it when I really need it, but only then.
Pornography is a whole different beast entirely. I’ve fallen victim to it ever since I was a teenager. Its degrading women and makes sexual activity something dirty. It replaces the intimacy between humans with randy adoration of the flesh.
Besides, often times actresses are being forced to work for the industry out of powerty and desperation. Its this aspect of pornography that really makes me sick to my stomach whenever I’ve watched it myself. Pornography is like a disgusting web we all get stuck on so easily.
4 Likes
Welcome to this chat. I would start with Allan Carrs easy way to quiting porn aka easypeazy.org
This book was the game changer n searching for help for 20 years. Great indie that’s basically left me with no withdrawals or cravings. Today is day 53.
2 Likes
Thank you for the correction I can’t spell.
1 Like
Day 54 check in, how’s everyone doing?
3 Likes
Had a real set back this morning. So gutted. Worked the wknd…lots of stress and tiredness. Thinking back to what went wrong. Woke up tired and wife away. Started to surf soft porn and then hard porn…knew it was wrong and felt horrible at the same time…Point of no return feeling so edged and wasted a few hrs. Now I feel really rotten, sick and annoyed with myself. Such an empty useless vice. Didn’t even get pleasure while acting out. This is my classic pattern. Am doing really well and so clear I am finished with porn then go through a tough busy stressful patch…Still feel strong but then go to sleep…all the adrenaline of life disappears and I wake up tired and lose my self on autopilot!!
Any advice folks?? I’m back in the saddle 100% but how can I guard myself in the future. My problem isn’t during the day or at night it’s the next morning after a tough day!!
5 Likes
I’m glad you chose to bounce back quickly after using.
Thinking about what you shared. That there’s this belief that our drug will help us to cope with a tough, stressful, busy day. It’s part of the brainwashing. I see a lot of this with alcoholics as well. And the most common and helpful response I read is that alcohol won’t make it better. It will only make it worse. I believe it’s the same with porn.
2 Likes