I would say it at least depends on what it stops you from doing. A lot of us are here because addiction is a ridiculously inconvenient way to live. Are you finding yourself struggling to do anything because of it?
I wouldnt say so. I train hard. Run half marathons and obstacle courses. I go to work and work hard 10 hours a day but I also spend alot of time having sex and looking at porn.
Welcome ! I’m back at day 1 myself but it’s just a number. I’ve been healing a lot and learning a lot and I’m happy to keep making progress, and grateful that I get to make this journey with everyone here. I think about my talking sober friends every single day
Three years after my wife dumped me, now I can clearly say that I’m addicted to porn and that I have to quit. I’m ashamed, which is funny in a way because my weed or alcohol addiction never put me to that amount of shame in the past, even though I did so many stupid things.
Just bought “Your brain on porn”…and, wow, just wow. Many things from my past and present suddenly make sense. I add a new sober time counter too
It takes courage and humility to admit you’re addicted, no matter what the DOC. Great that you’ve realised your porn addiction and I’m sorry you’ve had to add one more thing to your list. Fortunately, recovery can and will take you forward in all fronts eventually.
Thank you Olivia! Yes, admitting is the first step as always. It’s not like I’ve never been addicted to anything else
I will continue to read, learn, and recover
“People say ‘pornography is not wrong with adults’ but the problem is that you never find it as an adult. I don’t know anybody who found it as an adult. You find it AS A CHILD, it’s everywhere!”
Terry Crews talks about his life journey very openly and down to earth. I recommend. Obviously, trigger warning is in place
Where did you guys start (to fix this)? Is there anyone here who has never told their significant other? Does it get easier once you have a few days clean?
I started gradually by realising that I have a problem. I was in therapy because of depression at the time so I raised the issue with my therapist. I started looking for peer support and found this forum. I told some of my trusted friends, too. Somehow I sensed that’s what I needed to do and it was hugely important for my recovery. I kept grinding one day at a time for a couple years. Then I met my husband. I told him about my addiction after we had dated a couple of months and were getting serious. We’ve discussed it every now and then but I’ve never told him the ugliest details. He doesn’t need to know that much.
I started by going cold turkey every time, no gradually easing out. I would let my wife know when I failed and telling the truth made it all work - my goal was specific, realistic, and articulated with someone who wants the best for me. That’s a huge factor in my estimation, you have to tell people who will actually be grateful for your efforts, thankful if you succeed, and faithful if you mess up. You also need to get your life together outside the vice and manage the things it’s trying to fix for you.
Good luck, coming here and reading helps a lot too.
I am at 89 days on the counter btw, going stronger than ever. Can’t imagine relapsing but I always treat myself as if I’m someone capable of not only relapsing, but capable of taking great pleasure in saying “screw this” so I still take it seriously everyday. Basically, I try to live so that the likelihood of that happening is minimized and disincentivized.
So i’m 42 days clean but i’ve been battling this for decades. So goals dont work for me. It’s about habits/systems, things i do everyday that help me win everyday.
Atomic Habits by James clear. Porn Free Radio by Matt dobbshoots. The easy way to quit porn, all great tools/techniques to battle this addiction.
I go to bed with my wife, every night now, for 42 straight days. Most of my issues were late night, so i eliminate this time frame by being with my wife.
I’m also a lifelong gamer, and i put my game in the closet for a while. I never go to bed with it downstairs, as it pulls me downstairs to play, which means i’m up late night, which means i’m vulnerable.
I lock my phone from 9:30pm-7am except for essential apps. An additional safeguard and daily reminder for me.
I’m not on any social media. This is my only social media. Porn is everywhere and if it’s not safe, i can’t go there.
I battle not going to youtube everyday. It can’t be on my phone under any circumstances.
I make a porn free plan every week.
I dont go into the bathroom (my top trigger spot) with my phone under any circumstances. if i’m at work and i happen to walk in with my phone, i’ll hide it behind the trash can and then go into the stall.
I swim 3 to 4 times a week not just for exercise, but for the neurological benefits.
I check in with my sponsors a couple of times a week.
I listen to podcast daily for focus and fighting self absorbed behavior.
I just wanted to share my porn free plan. Self Care has to be built into my daily routine along with things to help me with gratitude.
I’ve heard the opposite of addiction is connection, so stay connected with people who love and care about you. One thing you can appreciate about this chat specifically: We wont judge you or overreact to anything you say cause we’ve been there.
Welcome KrazyChef. You have alot of people here myself included that have battled this addiction for years. I have my entire plan on this chat, working on 68 days free today. It can be done bro, but not without a plan and tools. You’ll find alot of resources on this chat history.
