This might sound dumb or trivial, but I love the feeling of knowing if anyone looked at my search history on any device for the past year that you wouldn’t find one pornographic search, and not because I deleted them. I never have to worry about anyone seeing what I look at on the Internet, which is a lot of political and conspiracy stuff admittedly but at least it’s not porn. The government probably wouldn’t appreciate me looking into JFK and aliens but at least they can’t blackmail me with what I looked at in between when I figure it all out.
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I go in 3-15 day spurts of sobriety. One of my realizations I had this last time is, for 14 days I didn’t have to delete my search history and it was nice to have my phone remember my preferences for specific things. When I quit Tabacco I quit cold turkey and didn’t look back. This one has me tripping up. But there are way more good days then bad days.
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You are getting better and stronger.
For me I start to feel much better at about the 40 day mark.
Something happens. There and around 50 days. Feels good.
At 24 days now but still a long way to go.
Keep up the great work.
Questions for everybody: would you say your life is stable? How much of the battle is fighting against the urge to use porn as a stabilization mechanism (hypothetically) in an unstable life? I definitely used it the most when I was in the most chaotic portions of my life, and was tempted most later when chaos re-emerged its ugly head, and even after hundreds of days I broke and relapsed.
I’m about to hit 400 days and I think it’s only because I’ve managed to stay mostly sane, and on track with really important goals that are simultaneously really heavy burdens with positively meaningful payouts. It’s the instabilities in life that scare me because I see that as an obvious front door opening for all the old habits to storm the Bastille and totally run me over if I let it get there.
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Congrats on the approaching milestone!
You are onto something really important here. When is life stable? Am I stable? There’s very little one can do about their surroundings but a lot more about themselves. We can adopt healthy coping mechanisms, too. Yet, sometimes those aren’t enough either. My stability comes mainly from my faith in Christ and His reliability. My strength is nothing to boast about, especially if I think about things that could go wrong. That mindset is a battle already lost.
Keep making right decisions, putting more distance between your old habits and your new way of living. “I don’t need porn anymore.”
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For most of my 30 years of this journey that I’ve been on, I would have considered myself unstable. For much of my sober periods, I was in unstable equilibrium.
Today, I don’t feel that way. This year has been different. God, I’ve been working a long time for this. But it’s been worth it. Never give up guys. Keep learning from your mistakes to transform into a better version of yourself.
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Sorry for the late reply, but thank you for your answers. I was suspecting that the people who had success might suggest that you don’t really get to the promised land exactly, but instead learn to master riding the waves that come and go. I don’t think the metaphor “breaking addiction” is helpful, it’s more like need to outcompete it as a motivational structure by constructing another, better, far more reliable motivational structure with the future incorporated into it long term. Of course the addictive behavior has a concept of really only the present.
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Hi… This is my first time in an environment like this online and it makes me wanna cry happy tears about the subject matter rather then ones of frustration or sadness… Hearing how y’all all talk to each other and encourage one another is inspiring… I’m officially starting my porn sobriety today. It feels so empowering to say like I have an actual plan to stop rather than crying to myself and swearing never to watch it again… I’ve been watching the rough sort of stuff that’s triggering for me and in the moment it’s amazing I feel so good but then I crash afterwards and feel so disgusted and disturbed by it… I even have thrown up afterwards before. Something needs to change and I’m hoping this will be the encouragement I need… just something to stop me in that moment and remind me what I’m working towards… Was just expecting a numbers thing not a whole community… I’m nervous posting this but maybe it can help other new folks feel welcomed too… Though everyone feels so much more mature? I guess it feels even a little intimidating so hopeful my awkward comment will help someone out…Sorry for the ramble I’m crying now feels weird to be so worked up over a simple and admittedly butchered paragraph lol but I digress… Im wishing whomever reads this the best of wishes 
and I’m cheering you on! Feeeeelll the good vibes (sorry it’s 4am been up all night totally gonna regret the lack of coherence in this later)
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Hi hang in there. It is great you are so moved by this forum I am 89 days Sober from PMO and it feels absolutely good to be free. I have found my Higher Power and loving all the new habits i really loved reading music meditation and so forth. So much more freedom it is so awesome. There is Hope.
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Welcome. If you desire to quit porn, then you seek a good thing.
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Hello Zoe, welcome to the forum. You can find peer support here (although most posters are substance abusers) and hold yourself accountable, if you so desire. You can search for specific topics with the magnifying glass.
Your text resonated in my on many levels. It’s ok to be nervous. It’s also VERY brave to share, to be transparent and vulnerable. I don’t know whether we’re that mature 
, but perhaps just a few steps ahead of you on road to recovery.
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Hang in there. The next days will be tough but once you get over the hill it will get easier.
The withdrawals are a sign of your brain changing for the better.
That’s a good question.
My life much more stable now.
I think once we stop using, our brain allows us to think clearly and we make much better decisions.
These better decisions help with giving us a life of stability and peace.
When we use, we aren’t thinking clearly and are more reactive. Always reacting to this or that and that leads to us feeling more and more unstable.
Congrats on 400 days. That’s absolutely amazing!
I’ve been at 270 days. My best ever.
At day 35 now.
Around day 50 I know I start feeling so good and everyday after that is just a blessing of good vibes.
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It’s great that you have a plan, nobody does this without a plan (even if they don’t know what the plan is and succeeded, they had to have done something about it). I think it’s important to always remember what you’re running from and figure out what you should be running toward. Remember those two things daily and you’re already ahead of the curve. Best wishes.
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Hello all - I’m jumping on board with you folks on this forum. I actually didn’t expect to me - I joined a few months back to help stop drinking alcohol and that has gone very well for me. My mindset seems so different to past attempts and I have glided through to nearly 100 days (which is a record for me). So I am very chuffed with that
I am 45.
I saw this thread pop up a couple of times and thought I would have a read. That led to me doing more reading, other research etc and I suddenly came to the unexpected realisation that PMO could well be the cause of a lot of the negative thinking and poor behaviours I sometimes suffer from (irritability, snapping at loved ones, lack of motivation, fatigue, fuzzy thinking etc)
I never even considered it could be PMO - although I did feel I maybe did it more than I should do, even though I passed it off as normal and nothing to worry about (‘every guy does it’)
It was only when I tried on and off the past month to stop that I have suddenly had to face the reality I am badly addicted - I literally cannot go a few days or more without being pulled back. A tough day, a bad night sleep, work stress - the list goes on
So I find myself unexpectedly here - working my way through the ‘EasyPeasy’ book at the moment, and 3 days clean. The penny is slowly dropping of what I have done to myself and what I need to do, but I feel this is going to be a REAL challenge for me - alcohol seemed something easy to deal with (I completely appreciate it’s very tough for many, I guess I am just lucky with my experience of how to deal with stopping)
So here I am - a newbie - but I am sure I will learn a lot and benefit a lot from your experiences and encouragement
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I cant rly review this right now. But this IS my struggle in recovery right now. Its the one thing that has the opportunity to break my mental fitness and bring me back into an unrealistic vision of my addiction and addictive sexual behaviors.
Commenting so i can come back later.
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It will get easier with time and the longer you refrain.
It’s a form of high we chase. That easy dopamine fix for our brain.
Helps us relax they say…
Helps with stress they say…
Everyone does it they say…
It’s normal they say…
Fuck them is what I say…
When you ask how it actually helps us relax, then you will be able to dig down into what it actually does. It rewires your brain.
Anything that releases this much pleasure has the ability to rewire our brains if we use it long enough.
What helped me in the early stages was that I thought of my irritability and withdrawals symptoms that my brain was changing back. Something it has to go through to get back to its normal state.
Once you are through and remain clean, trust me, everything else will just feel that much better.
We don’t need porn.
It isn’t normal to watch others in a highly sacred event that should be shared in secrecy between two people who truly and unconditionally love each other.
Same also goes for sex. It can also become an addiction.
I’m 58 days clean now but still have a long road ahead of me.
Keep walking and stay clean and pure.
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This might sound stupid, but it’s been my experience with something like 430 days under the belt so far.
I used to be really into Yu-Gi-Oh cards and I would watch unboxing and unpacking videos all the time. Very exciting, retro nostalgia dreams coming true. Then I saw the same guy opening other cards, Magic the Gathering or Pokemon or something, so I watched just to see what it was like. It was horrendous, I couldn’t care less about these videos and I thought it was completely ridiculous to watch it. Then I realized that audience probably feels the same way when they watch the Yu-Gi-Oh videos. A lot of those people are completely set for life with their interests and Yu-Gi-Oh makes no sense and looks stupid.
After many years with several hundred day streaks of no porn or masturbation, I’m at the point where porn and sexual fantasies appear like those Pokemon cards to me. I think about it, and it’s almost completely insane to play that game out (PM) hypothetically, let alone act it out in real life. I think we’re going to have lots of legacy circuitry in our brains generating hypotheticals where the fantasies make their case for why you should engage, but if you get your life together though they literally look as dumb as anything else you’ve grown out of. They’re noisy, but useless at best and poisonous at worst (depending on what you have at stake).
So to anyone grinding and praying for peace some day, good luck, it may be as simple as growing out of it. Ask yourself “What does that look like?” seriously, practically, long term, and see where that takes you.
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Sober from p*rn since 8-26-24.
Yesterday i stayed away from the Safari web browser and my computer pretty much most of the day.
Me and the parents and my cousin and her partner were going to swim in a lake this evening. I was a little triggered by my cousin coming over and wearing revealing a swim suit. I tried to keep my eyes away from looking at her chest. I think she realized this and tried to keep her towel covering her chest after we got out of the water. That made it so much easier to look in her eyes when talking to her.
It’s not that i was staring at her chest. I wasn’t really even glancing at it. It was distracting while trying to talk to her face.
At the end of the day i noticed i didn’t have the Safari app hidden on my phone, which then gave me a urge to check to see if there was still women in skimpy clothing or p*rn on instagram, so i did that, but as soon as i saw women in revealing clothing i closed safari and got out of there. I then went back to my settings to block the Safari app from showing up on my phone’s screen.
I’m glad i stayed away from actual porn and masturbation all of yesterday though.
I just have increased mental clarity, energy, and motivation when i stay away from masturbation.
And porn has all kinds of reasons on why you should stay away from it: increased self esteem, self respect, self trust, ability to make eye contact with women again, lessens social anxiety, and less anxiety in general.
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The recent posts have been very helpful.
Just wanted to say that. I haven’t been here in a while so had like 3 new posts to read and they were good. Thank you
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