Checking in. Some temptation to act out. Have been reading some posts on this forum. Came across a good quote for folk like me who struggle with ‘just one more peek’ - ‘the only drink or drug (PMO) that matters is the first one’. So true. It seems almost innocent to take one more peek to satisfy the little monster but causes so much damage as it undermines everything up to that point and gives PMO the power to start us on the self-destruct cycle again! It was just one peek that started me on this journey of porn in the first place. If I could take that back so many years ago, I would, in a heartbeat. Hope you all have a strong day!
By the way - it’s a great feeling to be free!!
The take back so many years…I say that all the time! Why couldnt I find talking sober and easy peasy in 2007??? 2012??? 2016!!! Ole well! At least we not saying that in 2025… we here…sober and clean. One look… never ever… one look=one more sip of bleach. No thank you I’m done. Day 66 today. Happy and healthy let’s go!!!
Know that feeling wish I had found this back in early 2000s. It’s an easy road to go down and be bitter. But there is still time do love and live and no way to change the pass anyway. I feel better each day even though my monster acts up and want me to just have a peek. I try to be in that feeling. It feels awful and I get scared that I will just do it. But beeing in the moment I get a sens of control and then happiness that I don’t have to act on it.
My life gets really dark at times and pmo have been my self medication. But when it gets to dark not even porn is interesting. Maybe it actually been part of creating it in the first place?
10000%. You are trying to heal and medicate with bleach…
Creating a bigger issue your trying to heal. It’s poison and only leads to pain. I have 20+ years of proof
Good evening brothers,
The fire burns bright tonight. Just got done hosting an awesome retro game night with my brothers from group therapy. I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH the importance of connection. I’ve gained more strength by having like minded individuals fighting beside me than I ever could have found on my own.
If you find yourself alone… You’re not. The pain, the darkness, the shame, the guilt… You’re not alone. If you’ve been abused, hurt, scared… You’re not alone. If you feel like you’ve messed up so bad you can’t ever come back… You’re not alone.
You can find the light again. You can break free from the cage. You can be forgiven.
You can be free.
If you’re feeling the struggle tonight, find connection with others who are fighting too. You’ve got this!
@BeardedSandMan so sorry for my delay answering you. I am in day 13. I forgot the conversation we had. So sorry
You don’t need to be sorry for anything my friend, we’re all in this together. Just glad to have you with us!
Celebrating 90 days today
Yeah buddy!!
Awsome! Huge inspiration.
Well done!!!
I hate this addiction. I got this app 4 days ago, set up all of these personal milestones to urge me along, and here I am back to square one. Thankfully pornography usage did not occur. I had some cravings yesterday. Then my exgirlfriend texted me saying she loved me which help me regain my focus on the prize of sobriety. However, that was short lived when she recommended a tv show she is watching right now on Netflix. I of course wanted to make the connection and watch the show too. So I gave it a try and it was too racy. Scenes in the show encouraged my tendencies and I went down the rabbit hole which eventually led to me breaking my sobriety a half hour ago. Feeling down that this habit has had control over me for as long as it has. Anyways wanted to introduce myself. I was afraid of admitting to this habit on here because I didn’t want to look like a sleezeball to the other members on here struggling with what are in my opinion addictions that are not as taboo as this one. This is such a pathetic addiction and I’m so through with it. Nice to meet everyone.
Congrats on the 90 days Kevin
Welcome to the fire, Brother.
Shame and guilt are two of the most powerful tools this darkness uses on all of us. I too have felt that shame. There was a point just after my last relapse where I thought to myself, How can I go on knowing what I’ve done? How many times have I promised myself and my wife and my God that I won’t engage again? And how many times had I reset my sobriety because I gave in yet again… It was horrible. I wanted to die. I hated myself and thought there was no light in the dark.
I was wrong.
The truth is, you made a huge step in downloading this app. You reached a point where you said, Enough is enough. Take that resolve, channel it, breathe into it; make it grow. If you’ve reached a point where you truly want to be free, if you’re finally willing to do what it takes, then make the decision to work towards freedom. I did this 117 days ago, and I refuse to go back.
If you’re part of a church, I recommend seeing your pastor and asking for help. He may have local resources to help assist you. I also recommend going to sal12step.org to find a local meeting near you. They also offer online zoom meetings if you’re unable to attend in person. Lastly, I recommend getting the White Book for Sexaholics Anonymous. You can find it on Amazon. It’s a good guide that can help lead you to healing.
Most of all, I encourage 3 things: Honestly, Connection, and Accountability. Be honest with yourself, with someone close to you whom you can trust, and with your brothers. The more you open up, the less shame and self hate can hurt you. Find connection through the SAL groups and this app. The more you can know and feel that you’re not alone, the sooner you can begin to heal. Above all, be accountable. Don’t bury yourself in darkness again. If you mess up, speak out. Own up. When you make yourself accountable to others, the goal for sobriety becomes so much more attainable.
We’re all in this fight together.
I totally understand. I also feel shame and worthless especially since it seems to be an light addiction and should be easy to break. Like it’s just about your willpower and in the end you feel shame for not being a good person because you don’t seem to be able to stop. I have been using pmo/mo to handle my anxiety and feelings since pre teen. And now it’s scary and strange not to. I have tried quitting countless times and always felt like a messed up freak for not being able to. Using Sam Harris waking up has helpt also done therapy do understand that I can be with my feelings and don’t have so run from them. Another big thing is what people here recommended the Easy Peasy method. It flips all that you know about this addiction and have tools and change your perspective. I also read your brain on porn but would recommend the first one more since it’s more hands on. You are not alone in this we are all in this. I’m on day ten and feel shitty at times but over all I feel better and better as the day goes on. Porn is not a solution.
Well, I’m glad you choose to come forward. I felt the same way. And that was back in 2017. There was no one on TS that was struggling with porn at that time. And you know what? Everyone was incredibly supportive. Everyone. And I discovered how incredibly similar we all are regardless of what addiction we’re all dealing with. Now, there’s probably about 2 dozen active members of TS where pmo is the DOC. It’s a very common addiction, but shame keeps us in bondage unable to reach out for support. I second the Easy Peasy method that @Chrisskon is referring to. That changed my life. Also, the SA white book that @BeardedSandMan recommended is a very good resource.
When it comes to Doordash,
Snow day is a dough day!
I’m looking forward to making some serious