I am agree. I self induce my sress too. Uf!!! A lot of defects to change…
Hi, I’m George and I’m powerless over lust. Thank you to all who are sharing their struggles on this thread and especially to those who share their struggles with chronological cues for acting out.
I too struggle with acting out at specific times of the day, particularly at night when everybody is asleep. Lust may or may not be a contributing factor but it seems like the opportunity is more so the main factor. I just discovered this app and the forum. It’s nice to know that I have something to click on instead of what I would typically would
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The best thing I’ve found in dealing with unexpected triggers is to remind myself of how miserable I felt after my last relapse, pray for strength, and then do something to get my mind on something else.
That gets me through the immediate urge, but after a strong trigger I have to watch myself very carefully for a day or more to keep myself from slipping because it has a way of returning.
After too many bouts of denial and relapses, I’ve had to cut suggestive books and movies from my life entirely. That means I don’t often see the movies everyone is taking about…most have something suggestive enough to be a trigger. But I’ve decided there are worse things.
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Thank you so much. I realized with your answers how much I need to deepen my prayers and self discipline specially checking the cellphone at night
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What gets hard for me sometimes is remembering that miserable and shameful feeling I had after last acting out.
Sometimes I wish you could bottle that up and open it when you need a reality check. After time goes by that feeling starts to disappear. In some ways that’s good but it’s also dangerous.
Coming on here daily is helping me remember that. It’s like journaling.
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I have the same problem. Sometimes, when I need it, I pray for the memory to be returned to me. It helps. I’m going to have to try journaling more. That’s a good idea.
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I can relate with this experience totally
Just checking in here like I promised myself I would. I was triggered by something yesterday that caught me off guard. It was more difficult than I thought it would be to pull myself out of it but I did it. Something to learn from.
That was yesterday and now I just have to get through today.
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I’m feeling triggered right now. I need to start checking in here. I’m at day 3… Ahhh. I feel powerless sometimes
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Find a different outlet. Read the threads. Exercise. Study recovery material
Yes, checking in here helps a lot. It is hard but whenever anything slightly triggers you, try to get on here or find something else to distract your mind.
The powerless feeling is where finding your Higher Power would come in. Defining my Higher Power is something that I am struggling with. Right now for me it is the Universe and nature. I find that if I can get somewhere and observe nature, even in a simple form of a tree or grass, it helps. Probably sounds a little odd but it seems to work for me right now.
Also, I find that it helps try to figure out why something triggered you and if you can avoid it in the future.
Remember it is not an overnight process but a journey.
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Today I relapsed in the night with my cellphone. Porn and masturbation. Two days falling in a row. Discouraged and defeated but in this app I found hope to start again . Just checking now I realized how weak I am. How weak…
You’re seeking a chaser. You need to lock yourself down to a strict schedule. Only do what is on your schedule. Plan time for exercise. Plan time to get on the forum. Plan for meals. You dont need to be on your phone during down time.
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Could you share more or less your daily plan?
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Wake at 6:30. Pray and exercise. 7:00 shower and get ready. 7:30 breakfast. 8:00 study scripture/meditate/review recovery material. Work, whatever time you go in. Lunch must be spent eating and doing something productive. Return home, dinner. Clean up after yourself. Clean the house. Do something wholesome, movie/book/whatever. 9:00 plan for tomorrow. 9:30 write in a journal/recovery material/etc. 10:00 prepare for bed. 10:30 sleep, do not get out of bed until you wake unless it’s for water or to use the bathroom.
Of course, your daily schedule may be different than mine. I dont know when you sleep or when you work. This is about the schedule I kept when serving as a missionary for my church.
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Thanks @Rayrock for starting this thread. I’m 11days clean and wouldn’t have made it last night without browsing it!
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Do you have someone who you trust who can help you? If so, add some strict filters on all your devises and have them set up the passwords. Obviously there are ways around any control. But the extra step of making it harder to access porn can help be your wake-up call when you feel weak. It’s like getting rid of all the alcohol in the house for an alcoholic.
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Thank you so much. It helps a lot. With variations I could fix myself to it. My work is demanding and I have to change plans constantly but I think I can try to adjust myself to the basis of your schedule. Thank you so much. An thank you for being there. The first fifteen days of August I will do a pilgrimage by foot. I think that can help me too
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Thanks for the advice. Yesterday I put a new one blocker and I hope this time I don’t hacker it like last time. You are completely right in your advice. I discovered also that bottom line what makes me look for porn is a bad understanding of intimacy. I want to be love and understood but it is not the way. I hope to find healthy and productive ways
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I started this thread because I wanted to see if writing down my story would help me and it definitely has.
I go back and read it and the rest of the replies and it helps ground me every morning for last two weeks.
Writing down things helps you look at yourself from a different perspective. Especially when you go back and read something you wrote a couple of days ago.
It has only been two weeks for me and I feel like different person and it feels good. I still struggle almost every day but the second week went by quicker than the first.
I hope I can keep going. Just paying more attention to feelings has helped. Like yesterday and today I am tired and I can feel the urge. That combined with other stresses of work and life in general is hard. Instead of escaping into some harmful behavior I am distracting myself with other things like exercise and coming on here.
I think part of this is recognizing those things that not only trigger us but also identify things that can lead to being triggered. And then channeling to other outlets.
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