I was wondering if sobriety was constant reminding and talking yourself off the ledge. It seems so for me. Ive been struggling to give up alcohol but always cave to that voice because i get sick of arguing with it. I have a real hard time after a couple days. I need to pick a new strategy because mine doesnt work. Open to all suggestions.
3 Likes
Hi Jon. I’d say yes about the constant reminding in the early period. At least for me it was. This shit is tough but it does get better. Maybe saying to yourself something positive when you’re don’t drink, or let it get to you mentally would help? Beat it at it’s own game?
We find what works for us and we work it!
Hi @Sushidingo and good to see you here. 
What you’re doing sounds exhausting and I’m sure I would have caved aswell in your place!
I can promise you it gets a lot easier and I do hardly ever think of alcohol with any desire anymore, have not in a long long time, though I think about it a lot. What you need to achieve is a place where you really don’t want to drink anymore. So that when cravings come, you have a whole system behind your battle against them, a whole mindset in which drinking makes no sense anymore. You need to rearrange yourself and your life so that drinking has no place in it, is not needed and makes no sense. That means, you have to dig very deep to see why you drink. We all have our reasons, low self esteem, terrible childhood, abuse, lost someone, traumatic accident, never felt good enough, … Make it so you yourself start dealing with whatever your reasons and your story is behind your need to drink, instead of palming that responsibility off on drink or “some other time”. Take charge of your life. And use all the help you can for that. AA has saved countless drunks’ lives. This place TS is amazing. Psychotherapy is invaluable when it comes to facing yourself deep down. Pick your weapons. You can do it, because we all can win against this.
2 Likes
I mainly drink out of boredom. I also drink when I’m feeling good about something. My brain is the blackboard and the booze is the eraser as well. I get so pissed off about the world it makes me drink. This is day one again and i really want to focus on staying sober for today, tomorrow, and as long as i can. I’ve struggled with consumption for 20 years and its always the same thing over and over. Im so fed up im considering the anti alcohol pills. I cant keep doing this to myself.
In the beginning it feels that way. For me, as my sober days added up it got easier and easier. Those who “struggle least” (I hate that phrase, because we all struggled) had some program of self betterment.
2 Likes
You have reservations step 1 surrender …if you don’t have a sponsor get one
I’m with @Thirdmonkey. I’ve never done AA or worked a program but I knew I would lose everything if I kept drinking. In my mind, I had no other choice besides quitting.
Then, I made sobriety the foundation of a decision to live a better life. Eat healthier, exercise, try to be a better person, etc. So far it has worked for me. Talking Sober has also been one of the main reasons I’ve made it work.
2 Likes
Addiction is about escape. What each of us is escaping is something in our history, our sense of self, and that’s what makes addiction recovery a personal journey.
One of the reasons groups help many people in recovery is that it helps provide some outside input from others who’ve walked the path before and can guide you as you excavate your past and make connections. By doing this you move past “white-knuckling” and constant relapsing, and get into sustained recovery.
Have you looked at joining a group?
3 Likes
I haven’t looked into groups. I have always tried to do it solo and failed. It’s time to try new things to overcome this habit.
Every thing, especially in the beginning was about sobriety…
1 Like
I feel you man, I’ve tried quiting over and over and over and nothing worked. It wasn’t until I joined this community, made friends and took it seriously that I was able to quit. We can’t do it alone, we are proof of that.
To answer your original question, the early days of sobriety drinking (or more appropriately NOT drinking) is a constant thought, but that’s ok.
If you walk 100 miles into the forest, you have to walk 100 miles to get out. You’ve been using alcohol to cope with life for so long, it will take time to change that; that’s all part of the process.
Hang out here everyday, get to know people and make friends. Its a lot easier when you have your own sober team to lean on!
2 Likes
Give that voice a name. Mine is a squirrel 
because it is always natterring in my ear but I cannot think of it as something powerful. You can drop-kick a squirrel over the fence when it starts. It wants you to cave in and it can be devious at first, trying to make you think it is your friend. Well don’t listen to it and never negotiate with it. Call it out by its name and tell it to F*** off.
It is not you, IT belongs in the reptilian mid-brain; YOU in the neo-cortex that makes you human. IT wants you to drink, YOU do not. That is why you want to drink and don’t want to drink, but each time you stand up to that voice it will go away and will be weaker. After all, you have the power of veto. It cannot go to the store, it cannot give over cash, it cannot open a bottle it cannot pour alcohol down your throat. You hold all the cards.
It does get easier and the rewards do get greater. 
Good idea. Here’s a couple places to start looking:
Never give up. Keep an open mind, be humble and never stop trying to learn, and grow a little each day. It will take time; be patient and never, ever stop. One day at a time is how you change 
1 Like
For the first 6 months I was pretty much all about sobriety all day. 2-3 meetings a day. Outpatient, medication, counseling, the works. I was so terrified of relapsing that it was pretty natural to immerse myself in recovery. Then, quite organically, my life shifted. I got a job, a wife, kids, friends, etc. These days, through all that hard work in the beginning, I have no relationship with drugs and alcohol. They do not exist in my realm.
1 Like
Check out The Naked Mind by Annie Grace, she also has a 30 day program the Alcohol Experiment… it is helping me tremendously with exactly what you have described
Same as others have said. It started with the desire to not die (drink/use). That’s an improvement, but still living in a kind of fear.
The real change came as I discovered how to live again. Like others, with time I found that in a recovery program.
With my mindset and outlook on life shifted, I rarely think of drinking in my day to day now. There are just so many other things to live for and a bottle only ever got in the way.
1 Like