I’m not myself when I drink. I can’t control how much drink I have when I start. The times I do takes extreme willpower. I’ve said and done alot of things I regret, embarrassed myself over the years countless times blacked out. Often had the dreaded cringe moment of finding really embarrassing messages to people I wouldn’t have sent sober on my phone the next day. I get easily offended and upset when drunk over little things that seem huge to me at the time and yet I find it hard to quit, even though I can see what it’s doing to me. I’m scared of losing my fiance, my job, ruining my life, I need to stop this now.
In a society full of people drinking how do I transition into not, I don’t want to feel like I’m missing out but I think we all know I’m kidding myself at this point.
I just want the fear to go away, I fear what I will do in the future while intoxicated and how much of my life I will destroy in an instant.
I’m a nice person sober I wish I wasnt like this.
Just wanted to talk to some people who understand.
Welcome @Winter19. My DOC was alcohol also. I could not stop once I started. I drank every evening and more so at weekends. I thought my ‘fun’ would be over for good if I stopped drinking. But I have to tell you how wrong I was.! I had depression and raging anxiety in my drinking days, the paranoia and angst I felt was like a knot in my stomach. Becoming sober takes work but it is so so worth it. I can promise you that once you stop drinking and start a sober life, all the anxiety eventually just goes! And as for not having fun, it wasn’t worth worrying about!! Life is better sober. I’m really glad you’re here with us. I wish you all the best and I look forward to seeing you around. Be gentle with yourself my friend.
The way to stay sober is to help other people stay sober, if you spend your time talking to other alcoholics and listen to your own advice you’ll find you already have some of the answers inside you and while your helping others it distracts you from yourself. Selfishness is what keeps us drinking bc life has always been about us and what we want. So the man with one year helps the man with one month and the man with one month helps the man with one week and the man with one week helps the man with one day and the man with one day helps the man with one hour. The man with one hour is the most important man and helps us all.
Disclaimer - Man is just a figure of speech and less letters than person
The resources given earlier are really great. Something that helped me decide to stop drinking alcohol was reading a book called This Naked Mind and doing the author’s related “alcohol experiment” for the sober curious.
I read a lot in the early days, there are some great books out there about addiction. It was good because it spurred me on and educated me on why we become so stuck, what addiction does to us mentally and physically. The easy way to stop drinking by Allen Carr is a great book and This Naked mind by Annie Grace is another great one. I slept a lot and rested when ever I felt like it, drink plenty of water. Booze stays in the system got a good ten days so you gotta stay hydrated to help your body expel and repair. And above all, be kind and gentle with yourself. I started cross stitching early on, this kept my hands busy. Then as time has gone on I picked up loads of different hobbies. I make stained glass now…check out the show the artist within thread. There are loads of talented folk on here! Take it one step at a time. Just don’t drink today! Then tomorrow repeat.
This is exactly how i was. It was awful. I would drink myself stupid everytime. I embarassed myself and ruined relationships with family and friends. It was awful.
I eventually became a full blown addict. drinking ungodly amounts. We did the math and i was drinking about 40 shots a day in an average day. Somedays more. All day Every day.
I’m almost 2 months sober and I was able to go to a bbq this last weekend. And everyone there was drinking and while yes it did cross my mind to drink, obviously, I didnt. And I still enjoyed family and friends. I tend to use little things like when someone foes6 or says something silly. I tell myself hoe happy i to witness this sober. Or happy great its gonna be to remember all if this. Or how bad this would have been if i had a drink. It gets easier. Feel free to message me or whatever.
Exactly the same, I totally understand. In the beginning I really had to “work” quitting. I joined something called ‘the 30 day alcohol experiment’, it should come up on google, there are daily videos about why alcohol is bad, scientifically and socioculturally, homeworks to do, etc. It really helped jumpstart my understanding and commitment.
I saw some of your stained glass very cool. I have been thinking of starting to make my own jewellery as a way to pass the time also reading more. I’m around 25% though this naked mind currently just gotta make sure I finish it. It’s hard when literally every social event in my life has alcohol and I can’t go to the gym because they are all closed due to covid. Will focus on walks and home workouts instead
Thank you for your reply. Sounds like we have definitely been in similar nasty situations due to alcohol. Congrats on 2 months sober that’s awesome. Did you get support from friends and family at the start?
Great perspective.I guess with me I’m drinking to drown out my anxiety which focuses on basically all my short comings as a person constantly so I get temporary relief but then feel worse afterwards and the anxiety spirals out of control so I drink again. I know it’s not doing me any favours I remember a time when I wasn’t like this and I want to be like that again. Helping others is definitely a positive way for me to focus my thoughts instead of destructively towards myself.
And this community is a great place to start bc there is always someone who might benefit from your words plus its a good distraction in the early days of recovery and those long boring, what the hell am I going to do with my life now, moments. I’ve gone from doing nothing but drinking to doing nothing at all and now where am I going to find the time to do everything. Hang in there bc sobriety is beautiful when the miracle happens. As for your drinking to cover up how you feel that’s exactly what I mean about selfish, we spend all our lives going me me me what about my feelings. How you feel is not important, what you do about it IS…
It might be too early for you to see that now. But I know you’ve gotten a lot of good advice here from some great people in this support community.
I got 427 days now and I’m not missing a damn thing.
One day at a time.
Message me. Its a long story. Or you can go read some of the stories ive posted. But basically yes. As soon as i was ready my family was there. But honestly TS has been extremely helpful.
as you begin your journey.
