So excited for you and was waiting to see this. 2 months is impressive work friend. You should yso very proud of yourself 
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Congratulations . You are doing awesome !
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Congratulations on your 60 days!!!
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Thank you everyone for the congratulatory messages.
I’m feeling so heavy right now. Extremely sad and overwhelmed, lots of crying in PHP today. I have a session with my usual therapist in about 20 minutes so I’m just trying to lie down and calm my breathing and heartbeat.
I’m so tired of being so tired. I’m so tired of having to work so damn hard all the time.
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Sending love your way. I’m sorry today was so overwhelming. I do hope you are able to calm yourself before your appointment.
Hopefully your therapist may have an idea of how to deal with all these thoughts and emotions that you are working through. Possibly be able to provide some more coping mechanisms 
I know how tiring this app can be but I do know it won’t last… I don’t know the timeline but you will hopefully start seeing some relief soon 
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Thank you. Trying very hard not to listen to the addict voice, saying that I can smoke just one joint and not reset the timer and just go back to business as usual tomorrow.
But I also know where that path leads me. I’m just so tired and overwhelmed. Going to try to take a nice bath instead. Maybe go to bed super early. No energy for anything today.
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Yes!!! Soooo excited for you 
Youve really put in the work to get here. I couldnt be happier for u!!
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Therapy was draining but good. I’m just trying to come to terms with the absolute horror show Little Reese went through. And trying to give myself some grace and safety now.
Did some relaxing self care: a hot bath with bath bombs, a sheet mask, big cup of tea in one of my ~special~ mugs, listening to a podcast I enjoy.
Going to take my bedtime meds, do some yoga, tarot reading, meditation, sleep. Really hoping that the nightmares don’t haunt me too much tonight. Tomorrow is a new day.
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60 days!!! Congratulations Reese, so very proud of you! X
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Great to read your update. You are doing so great and I am loving how gentle and patient you are being with little Reese.
Take your time my friend. You are healing . You are not alone
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Day 61.
I feel exhausted in my soul. I just want to curl up and stay in bed today, but instead I’m en route to PHP. Solo therapy is today.
Doing my very best to hang in there.
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Hey friend…how are you doing? Just realized we didn’t see you check in today.
Hope you are well
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Thank you. I’m okay, still sober, just incredibly exhausted in every single way. Thanks for checking in on me.
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Great to hear from you. Hope you are able to relax and rest and rejuvenate . Wishing you a peaceful night of sleep 
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Closing out on Day 64.
Not much to say. I felt like I needed a break from this forum for a while. Lots of arguments and anger that weren’t helping my headspace. I’m still sober, still in the partial hospitalization program.
Trauma nightmares have returned with a vengeance.
TW sexual abuse, incest:
Summary
Dreamt last night that my younger brother (or should I say my abuser) broke into my apartment and raped me violently and repeatedly. No matter how many times I threw him off of me and out the door, he kept sneaking or forcing his way back in. It put me into a horrible headspace the rest of the day and I could barely focus on the program. Spent most of the day working on a jigsaw puzzle.
I also keep dreaming about my bio father dying or having his own mental breakdowns. While he wasn’t quite as actively abusive as my bio mother and brother, he had his own flavor of abuse and neglect–plus I guess he wasn’t as actively abuser because he just…wasn’t really there. I think at this point I just pity him more than anything, and feel like I should have done something to help him. But then again, I was the child and he was the parent. I got yelled at and disciplined, and yet I still helped him up the stairs and into bed when he got drunk.
Wow, writing that out makes me really fucking sad.
I know that recovery isn’t always linear, but man i really had hoped to be more or less past these nightmares.
It’s late at night. I’m going to shower and wash my hair. Yoga before bed and a meditation. Tomorrow I’m going to my sister’s house to hang out with her and the kids. That will be good.
Just trying to take it one day at a time, I guess. That’s really all that I can do.
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Hey Reese. Glad to see you checking in and sober . I’m so sorry you are still having to deal with such brutal nightmares . I really wish there was some way to magically make them stop for you. Proud of you for staying the course and continuing to take it ODAAT even with all these challenges. I hope you have a great relaxing day with your sister because you certainly deserve it.
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You have been missed but I do get that we need to take a break at times.
Are you familiar with the option to mute threads and people on this forum?
I am so very sorry to hear of your nightmares. They sound brutal and do make me sad to read so I can’t imagine having to experience it. Sending you and little Reese many hugs to comfort you and hope you feel the calmess within.
Hope you are able to have a great day with your sister.
Oooh…if you are interested…you can share your puzzle with us Share your jigsaw puzzle pics
Wishing you a wonderful day
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Hi friend xxx just checking on you… what you are going through now hurts and Im so sorry for that, you know ‘it hurts when its healing too’, you are healing Reese, just give it a bit more time, it will pass xxx
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Day 65.
Having a lot of pain in my lower back. I think it’s mostly that I’m just holding a lot of my stress there. I’m exhausted but also know that seeing my family today will be good for me.
En route to my sister’s house. Going to just take today moment by moment.
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