You are doing so great!
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Day 291.
Finishing up the day. First day back at work went well! Pain was very well managed and I felt like I had good energy. Definitely crashed and took a nap as soon as I got home, but I think that’s understandable. Woke up late, did dinner and cleaning and shower, now getting ready for Bed Part 2.
It was my older brother’s birthday today. We’re kind of estranged right now, since he thinks that I’ve “gone crazy and gotten worse,” and is siding with our bio family/doesn’t believe me about the physical/mental/sexual abuse I endured. I considered messaging him to wish him a happy birthday….bur I didn’t. I don’t feel comfortable opening that door to someone who has quite literally called me crazy and sent me pages and pages of some very cruel and hurtful things, because I dared to speak up and get treatment.
It’s really unfortunate. My relationship with him has always been rocky, sometimes good and sometimes bad. This one really, really hurts though. So while I have unblocked him, I don’t see myself reaching out any time soon. I know that he is also a victim of our familial abuse and trapped in that cycle, but I just. I can’t be that for him. I have to be there for me, and if that makes me “crazy,” then I guess that I prefer that.
I compare my relationship with him to the one I have with my sisters, and I find it lacking. It’s really sad because it’s like, I was hoping that I wouldn’t be “the only one to escape,” as it were. A weird mix of survivor’s guilt and resentment and grief.
Sigh. Idk. A lot of my mind and I wanted to get it out of my brain. Ended up writing more than I expected, as pretty usual. Going to do my yoga and then sleep. Another day at work tomorrow. Goodnight, sober fam.
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Glad to hear that first day back to work went well. Grateful you managed the pain well and did allow yourself to rest when you got home. The body will take time to bounce back 
Glad you are not reaching out to your older brother. I am sorry that he doesn’t believe you and calls you crazy. He does not know your truth and for some people it is fruitless in trying to get them to see it. You are living your best life my friend. Continue to grown and heal
Glad you did let out all of this here - hope it helped. Sweet dreams friend 
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Day 294.
Happy Halloween! I just realized this will be my first Halloween not getting absolutely crossfaded and staying out late partying. It will be nice to go home tonight, cozy up with a spooky movie, and know that I’m almost at 300 days clean.
Heading to work now. There’s a costume parade and a pumpkin carving contest. I’m so ready.
Be safe and have fun, sober fam!
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Day 295.
In the emergency room. Super fatigue, one of my surgical sites is inflamed, and I’m bleeding from a not fun place. Hope everything works out okay…
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I hope everything is ok Reese and that they get you sorted out and on the mend again . Sending lots of healing vibes your way.
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Oh man that’s scary. Glad you are at the emergency room and hopefully you will be recovering at home soon 
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Much healing energy your way 
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Home now and stable. Exhausted. Just showered and I’m going to bed right now. Goodnight.
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Day 296.
Still alive, still sober. Went to work for a couple of hours to finish a paperwork deadline for the pharmacy. Still having some bleeding, but the ER said that it’s in a normal range post-surgery, and to return if the amount of blood loss increases. No symptoms other than fatigue. I’m going to make a follow up appointment with my surgeon tomorrow.
Not sure what else to say right now. Just chugging along day by day.
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Glad you are making this appointment. It’s always good to have your own doctor/ surgeon give an assessment. Glad you are taking things slow and easy. Wishing you well as you recover
Much love and healing vibes your way
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Day 298.
Didn’t sleep too great, but it is what it is. I have a dentist appointment today and then work. Not much else to say at this time. Taking today moment by moment.
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Day 299.
Stormy day here in the PNW. Getting ready for work. Feeling neutral and tentatively optimistic. Grateful for my sobriety because otherwise I’d be sitting out in the rain for a smoke. Have a good 24, yall.
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How are you doing today? 300 days eh? So very proud of you and all that you are doing in your recovery journey 
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Yes Yay Looks like 300 days. We await your check in.
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Day 300!!
Absolutely wild that I’ve made it this far. Can’t believe it.
I’m super exhausted today and slept really poorly last night. It’s stormy here which makes it hard to get out of bed. But I’m so close to a full year of sobriety, and that really feels like the only thing that matters. Going to get some coffee and then head to work. So very grateful for this community.
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I get it…. Sobriety is the only thing that matters. The good stuff is bonus and the bad stuff is just stuff. I should be a philosopher….haha
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Day 302.
Incredibly exhausted. Sleep was awful last night and plagued by nightmares. When I woke up, I saw that my mom had called me a few minutes before I awoke. I called her back and she said she just had a feeling and wanted to say hi because she thought of me. I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude. I felt like a little kid who had a bad dream and their mom came in tu check on them. I’m really grateful to have her in my life now..
Gonna get ready for work. Coffee and some food will help. Have a lovely day, yall.
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Day 303.
Weird nightmares and work-related stress dreams, but thankfully nothing that put me back in my trauma, so I’ll take it. I slept a lot and missed most of the day. Trying to be kind to myself and view it as my body taking the rest that it needed. I’ll probably just take it pretty easy the rest of the day. Therapy tomorrow, which is always good. Not much else to say right now. Just checking in.
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Congratulations on your 300 days. 
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Day 304.
Feeling very empty today. Not sure if it’s exhaustion or depression or something else. Therapy today, so that will be good. Not much else to say.
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