Relapse now and then

I have had so many relapses lately, I am failing to get my story straight everytime I want to concentrate I am doomed with a serious relapse. I read about people clocking 6 months in sobriety I ask myself where I am getting it wrong. Share me the secrete to atleast 1 year sobriety.

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I have not had a year sobriety in almost 10 years, so I get how frustrating it is. I am super proud of myself though because I joined a meeting finally! I also was really really close to being honest with my doctor…I know I need to do that. Hopefully others that have been sober longer can share here to. Thanks for posting :heart:

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The secret to at least 1 year of sobriety is staying sober just for today. Only worry about today and doing the next right thing. If you look into the future the fight becomes more difficult, keep things simple.

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You gotta put as much effort into your sobriety and you did into your drinking.
Change people places and things.
Whatever it is you’re doing, it’s not working. There’s no secret to my knowledge. You gotta want it and you gotta work for it.

Advice for the Newcomer and Constant Relapser

Resources for our recovery

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Maybe try a meeting might help helped me wish you well

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Not taking the first one :wink:

It’s all about the motivation. So.etimes it requires some drastic steps. Only putting down the glass is not rnough, we need to change ourselves. Change our lives, our habits, our way of dealing with everything.

Check in daily here,cread a lot. Stay focussed on it.

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Hi Mike.

The hard reality is, if you not working on your recovery, you working on your relapse. I have put a few days together, one day at a time. In early recovery I came up with an acnorim

L.A.S

Let go of your past

Accept the fact you are an alcoholic/ addict

Surrender to the fact that you are powerless over your addiction and follow the simple program

Best of luck and keep coming back, the penny will drop.

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  • I never set a 1 year goal. Way too overwhelming.
  • Take it 1 day at a time - only focus on the next 24 hours.
  • Wake up in the morning - tell yourself that “just for today, I will not drink” do whatever it takes to not pick up that first drink. Go to sleep with a sober head of your pillow - wake up and repeat.
  • I went to AA meetings, reached out for support
  • Not just admitted, but also accepted I was an alcoholic, deserved to live and not just exist, and wanted to get and stay sober. I was prepared to dig deeper than I ever had before and do whatever it took to stay sober ODAAT (one day at a time).
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I set my mind to being sober right now, this minute. I don’t worry about tomorrow or next week or next month, 6 months, a year or forever because today is the ONLY day I truly have.

Staying focused on today, I can nurture myself thru the day as slowly or as busily as I need.

In the early days I walked, took fitness classes and ran a lot to tire my mind and body. I slept as much as I could. I ate what my body asked for. I soaked in a lot of baths. I read.

I remember also wondering how anyone could possibly get 6 months or a year. It didn’t seem possible as I had tried for years.

Be sober today. Repeat repeat repeat.

Trust that you CAN make it thru today.

:heart:

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I dont have a year but i have almost 5 months. I didnt think it was possible. It was grueling and for the first 30 days i was on this app for at least an hour each day.

A lot of it is being willing to sit through feelings that are near intolerable. Yesterday I smelled weed from a passing car and missed that feeling of instant “calm” id get from smoking. I am in a great deal of pain from anxiety and grief, and using would help me “even out.”

In times of distress that feels intolerable, its easy to justify using and relapsing. It helps to identify that solution as not only unhelpful but deceitful, it helps you lie to yourself.

Even if you make yourself just sit and wait for time to pass, when youre at risk of relapse do anything but use.

You might be different than me for many reasons, but ask/notice: where do you make excuses for yourself?

P.s. for me going to a movie in a movie theater helped with cravings. Youre stuck there, you focus, and its better sober with some popcorn.

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I can relate to this. I don’t have a year yet, but I do have 132 days of solid, ENJOYABLE, sobriety. Before this, my longest time was maybe two weeks, but in reality I wasn’t in recovery, I wasnt even completely clean. So…I went to a 28 day inpatient recovery center. I came out and went into a clean and sober house. Im now enrolled in IOP. I have a homegroup. I have a sponsor. I have changed all people, places, things. I have put both feet 100% in and taken all the suggestions. I realized all my great ideas really weren’t, and they really weren’t working. So I take suggestions from literature, peers that have healthy RECOVERY, not just a number of clean days. I’m currently reading STAYING SOBER by Terrence Gorski and it’s helped me realize that relapse is a process that starts long before substances are ever reached for.
Recreate yourself. Heal yourself. In with the new, release the old. Breathe good in, read good in, meditate good in, dive in to restructuring and reconstructing your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health.
Life on this side is so, so, so, much better. I truly enjoy waking up and facing life at this point. It’s hard work, but life is meant to be experienced, not escaped. Light and love, best wishes and good energy being sent your way.

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Yes! I forgot to mention the best thing I did for my sobriety was to get a job cleaning houses. At the 3 month mark my anxiety was starting to become an issue that morning meditation wasn’t taking complete control of. But when I’m done cleaning for 6 hours a day I’m happy and exhausted, no energy for that futile feeling. Anxiety historically has been my greatest trigger so exerting and exhausting myself physically has done wonders. 🤸🤾🚴

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I honestly used to feel this. I couldn’t understand why I couldnt get recovery. I was a chronic relapser… every 3 days or so and I have been trying to get some real solid recovery for 22 years (altho at 1 point… like 15 years ago or so I had 3 years clean but was still acting out in unhealthy ways and was basically white knuckling recovery). Drugs had a hold on me like nothing I ever had experienced. But honestly… I had to stop trying to controlling it. It sounds weird to say that but every single morning I surrender everything in my life. I ask my HP to remind me of my powerlessness towards drugs bcuz I dont have control and never ever will. I cant moderate or try to control it, nor do I even want to anymore. We have to concede to our inner most selves that we are addicts/alocholics. And once I truly understood what that meant for me, I was able to gain some recovery and learn new coping skills. My old old sponsor would tell me to stop fighting. And I never understood that until recently. It takes time bcuz we have used drugs and alcohol for sooo long. But we can build a new routine for ourselves without substances in it. And it’s wonderful to be clean. Wishing u all the best :slight_smile:

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The secret is one day at a time. I just gotta be Sober just for Today

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The secret isn’t a secret, it’s all around you and shared everyday

First and foremost uou have to want it. It has to be your goal for you, you can’t go sober for your significant other, your kids your family. They can be additional reasons, but if you take that all away do you want to be sober for you? If the answer is yes that’s the first step.

Second part is to have a plan. What do plan to do to stay sober? Is it meetings? Forums like this? Getting a sponsor to help you navigate through the steps the emotions the good and bad days!? The urges? Burning desires how do you plan to cope with them, I get urges even today over 2 years sober, but where will it lead me? Right back to where I was

My big thing was they say today is only day we have. Just for today I’ll be sober, but as you tie those just for todays together it adds up to weeks and months and eventually years, each time I hit a milestone, it encouraged me to reach the next milestone, and after a while you just get to the point where your like ok,next milestone and drinking or drugging feels like oh I got to start over nahhh fuck that

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One day at a time. You have to subtract some things from your life to realize just how little they add to it.

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Being honest with my dr has ALWAYS helped Me in the long run! At least you’re taking accountability too! You & OP!

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Great reply !

Don’t think about 1 year, just do 1 day.
Fucked if I could be sober for a year but I’ve done enough to stay sober for the last 24 hours. I’ve done 24 hours for the last 20 months. I honestly don’t know if I’ll be sober tommorow and if I want a drink I will but not today.

The advice I was given is at each mile stone (ex 3 days, 1 week etc) give yourself a reward. Something you don’t get often but is easy to obtain and that you know you like! It prevented me from relapsing many times :))

Good luck on your journey :slight_smile:

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