Fuck my life, I hate that I can’t deal with stress ……………
None of us can. Or more specifically: none of us can deal with stress alone.
The thing that makes it work is connecting. Addiction is about hiding in the addiction: it gets us to hide away and avoid people so that we can just do our addiction thing.
Connection is the opposite of addiction. For a lot of people this is meetings, just go to a meeting, there are meetings in person www.AA.org or Online meeting resources, just find one and show up. There’s 24-hour meetings on zoom too; if you search “marathon AA meeting” you’ll find some, for example this one:
Just show up to start with. Don’t worry about anything else. Those first weeks it’s just about showing up.
It is possible. If you connect, if you reach out to other people in recovery, and take it one step at a time, you can do it.