Revenge help

I am now 42 days clean and i feel wonderful but the way i got clean has brought a everyday knot to my stomach. Family and friends and girlfriends overpowered me into surrendering. And everyday i am plotting on revenge which tbey all deserve there is way more to the story that i will not speak of. It was a cruel and cowardly way that they went about it and god will punish each and every one of them but i cant seem to get all of this hatred out towards them. On one hand i am happy and cant be mad that they got me clean but on tbe other hand all it did was push me away and ruin any kind of relationship that we could ever have. And any of you judging thinking that they did it for me to get clean are right but im pging the way tbey did it put my life in jepordy several times screwed with my mond that weaker minds would of broke and been insane the rest of there days. Anyway i dont want to feel this way but i cant stop. Any feed back would be great ty.

Maybe try a meeting, it’s a good place to talk about and process through anger and other feelings.

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Well it’s sad you feel like this. Obviously you haven’t told all the story, but you do seem to have some real resentment.
This is not going to help you at all. Perhaps a little thought and reflection may required so that you can get past this.
You are 42 days into a new life, well done for that. But don’t let the resentment get the better of you.

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Give it some time. Wouldn’t it be great if your feelings changed? Not saying you have to forgive them… But wouldn’t it be wonderful to not have this hate in your heart? Work towards that. 42 days is a great achievement.

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Resentment eats away at you slowly. I have had bouts of this from time to time where I can’t eat or sleep. When I try to close my eyes the images of getting the better of the person or persons plays over and over. Crazy stuff that I know will never happen. Things that I know I will not get the chance to say or do. When I get so deep in resentment that I can feel my stomach boiling, the blood rush away from my feet and the pressure in my head get so bad that I think I may just pop I pray. I pray for 30 seconds of sanity. I write down all the things that bother me. I wrote a letter to the person that I have the strongest resentment towards and then burned it. I also make a gratitude list. Hang in there. Try to focus on your sobriety. You are doing great 42 days. Keep it up

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I think your time and energy would serve you better if you focused it on your health and the road ahead of you rather than on how to get even with the past… keep moving forward. Best wishes for a smooth recovery.

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You’re sober now and lifes decent right?

Fuckin let it go.

It’s like you’re drinking poison and expecting them to suffer the effects of the poison if you hold onto this grudge.

@Bootz hit the nail on the head with that Confucius quote.

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Can you give a little more context? If you want, obviously.

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Id try aa/an meeting and hitting a punch bag

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Sorry you are feeling like this, we don’t know your story but you do seem to have some serious resentment issues there. These feelings can only harm you, they won’t harm the people you have them towards, that’s a lot of wasted energy that could be going towards your recovery. Could you write them a letter, explain everything and let these feelings out of your head. It’s up to you what you do with the letter, send it, keep it or destroy it, whichever you do will be a step forward. If you decided to send it try to make it rational and explain how they have hurt you without making threats or using abusive language, that way you have dealt with your side of affairs in a reasonable way. What anyone else chooses to do afterwards is up to them but your side of the street will be clean.
You are sober and that’s to be enjoyed, don’t waste your energy

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The best thing is to do nothing. Let go. Start a new life. Be the better person.

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Rather than revenge…pray for them instead. You’ll feel better instead.

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Thank you butch all the emotions you expained im having and i cant bring it up at meeting or to sponsor for they played a role in it so praying is my only vice.

Oh the fantasies of revenge. How I have spent years and years of my life plotting and waiting and hoping. And yet I did nothing, revenge has not been had nor will it ever. As @Lionfish stated, feelings change, anger turns to gratitude, thoughts of harming others turn to thoughts of taking care of myself.
Congrats on 42 days sober. That’s a really great accomplishment

Afterthought: never in my wildest fantasies did I think that I would be planning to make amends to the people I once planned to harm… yet here I am.

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Vsue is right though pray for that person. There is a resentment prayer I will see if I can find it and post it. I was even told by a guy at a meeting he started with God please give that son of a bitch everything he deserves until he could do a formal prayer. Do your best to let it go. It takes work and effort. Try to distract your thinking as much as you can. I know where you are and understand. Hang in there.

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Revenge is a dish best served cold. Ultimately the only way you’re going to stay clean is to do it for yourself. Many people are forced, bullied, tricked and shamed into recovery. The more you hold onto to hatred the deeper the roots anchor into the ground. Revenge and hatred are like a non-native invasive weed. You can try to get rid of it by pulling it out or cutting it off at ground level, but those darn roots will still be there and the weed will grow right back, sometimes even larger and stronger than it was before. As stated above, hitting a meeting could give you insight on how others dealt with their anger. 42 days is a huge accomplishment but pretty early in your recovery. Give it time. Focus on the positive things that have happened in your recovery rather than dwelling on your past. Don’t mourn your addiction. Try and embrace and celebrate your sobriety.

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I learned this a long time ago so just do you and f&$k what they think!!

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It’s on page 552 of the big book. Say the prayer every day for 2 weeks, even if you don’t mean it, and your resentment will be lifted

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I just re-read this post. It seems you are resentful toward pretty much everyone in your life. Friends, family, girlfriend, sponsor, meetings… I’ve found when I’m angry a literally everything and everyone it’s most likely, 100%, my fault. Maybe look inward to fix this problem rather than blaming everyone and everything.

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