Ruined Friendship

Last night i was at a housewarming, with one of my good female friends, i got completely drunk, and i cant remember a thing, but when i woke up, my friend was extremely angry with me, and she has now blocked me all over social media, i apparently according to one of out mutual friends, said something to her that was way over the line. I have apologized to her over text, but i dont know if she blocked my number or anything. Im so sick and tired of not being able to stop myself from drinking that much and talking before i think about my words. I really dont know what to do. :pensive:


You know what to do, choose to do better and be better. You know you can do it!


I assume you know where she lives, right? Send her flowers and apologize profusely. Then stay sober, forever. This way you will be worthy of forgiveness because you’ve taken action to never put the friendship in jeopardy again.


It’s horrible isn’t it

  • I’ve had a fight at an 80th birthday party
  • A fight at my EXs Mums wake
  • Kissed girls infront of their boyfriends

I’ve done all sorts over my years of drinking

The only way to stop doing these stupid things in blackout is not taking a drink


Do you want to stop drinking or do you want to stop having consequences from drinking? That was a very difficult question for me to answer honestly for a long time. I had a very similar situation to yours, I did or said something in a blackout at a birthday party that caused my girlfriend to break up with me immediately. She never did explain to me what I had done, and no-one else would tell me either. To this day I have been unable to make amends for hurting her that way - except that I am sober now and a good partner in my relationship. I have amended my behavior and I am willing to make things right with her if the situation ever presents itself. This all happened 3 cities and 25 years ago, and it was another 10 years before I got sober.


It isnt about you right now. You clearly upset her. She needs room to process what happened.
If she walks, or runs away, then accept that as another reason to not drink. We aren’t islands. Our actions effect others…


I agree.

If she is blocking you it means she needs space. It could be temporary or permanent. But that’s her decision and I think just giving her time will be the best thing right now for the two of you.

About her or your drinking? Have you thought about sobriety before this incident?


I second the advice to give your friend space and not selfishly seek out ways to contact her immediately so you can calm your conscience. I’ve been in your shoes and know the agony and shame and guilt of overstepping the line and losing friends. I was lucky enough to have been able to rebuild most of my friendships I jeapardosed since living sober. But this took more than an apology and the acceptance of it by another. I found that I can truly be a good friend now, I’m there, I’m aware, I give good advice, I am less needy, I can put the work in. This is one of the major benefits of sobriety for me, being able to truly connect with others.
I wish you the best @DKGuy, have you thought about going sober? You’ll be amazed how good your life can be.


Thank you all for your messages, im going to give her space and time… i will try to go sober, i dont drink everyday, the problem is that when i do i cant stop, and i always regret it the day after, i will really try to give sobriety a chance, and if she dosnt reach out, im going to leave her alone, i dont want to seem pushy, cause she told me our friendship was over. I will really try to work on myself from now on to become a Better person.


Prob best thing you can do for your friendship is stop drinking im sure after a while giving time your friend will come round when she see your trying to stay sober .wish you well


There’s a thread that will give you lots of ideas on how to get and stay sober. Please keep an open mind - having my mind made up and closed against certain solutions almost killed me.

I was a daily drinker and I drank for decades. But like you, once I started, I could not stop. And like you, I could not manage my behavior when I was drinking. I used several of the suggestions presented, some one at a time and some in combination with others. I’m sober and happy today.

Blessings on your house :pray: as you begin your journey.

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Thank you! I will definately take a look at these! :relieved: