How is your sobriety going, friend?
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Sorry guys. Iām really shame to say about another relapse. but today is my 2nd day.
What are the losses of my life from alcohol :
- A good job with good boss and salary.
- A lot of money
- A good career
- Wasted last 15 years with drinking
- Car accident that may due to my death
- Police cases of drinking and drive and its fine.
- A good relationships with friend, family.
Today Iām grateful for :
- Iām 2 day sober
- Hangover free morning
- No more depressions or anxiety
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You know the losses alcohol brings you.
You know the gifts sobriety brings you.
What are you going to do differently this time?
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Did you?
I do not want to be harsh, but because you didnāt check in here I think we all knew you have relapsed. So again: did you went to AA every day like you intended?
Did you avoided your drinking friends like you intended?
Did you ask for help when you had cravings like you intended?
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Hey Sarath, welcome back. There is no need to apologize to us, it is yourself you are harming and letting down. What have you learned from your last relapse?
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Yes, we all knew. And I donāt have a problem being harsh. The truth is harsh, and Iām not holding back on that because itās an uncomfortable one.
You relapse, regret, list all the bad things, promise to do better, promise to do the work this time round, check-in for a few days, disappear, relapse, regret, back hereā¦
Relapse
Regret
Relapse
Regret
ā¦
You can promise all you will, maybe itās time to promise to do things differently. Because your plan isnāt working, and itās obvious it isnāt working. But Iāve seen you come in here in the past with this pattern of relapse and regret. People welcome you back and youāre greatful. People tell you to put the work in and youāre dismissive of their advice.
You donāt have to answer to my post, I donāt expect it and I donāt need it. You need to answer to yourself here.
Remember that?
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One of the things i tell myself every single day is that i can have alcohol if i want to but that will be ALL i can have, if i choose not to have it i get to keep everything that i have nowā¦ .a happy beautiful and thriving daughterā¦a wonderful loving partnerā¦my sanity and my happinessā¦its a simple choice reallyā¦
Alcohol OR everything i hold dear?
I cannot ever have both.
Neither can you.
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Hi Sarath, how are you doing today?
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Hey Sarath,
Are you ok and still sober today?? Are you actually ready to break this cycle and take some more serious steps?? Commit to all the promises you make to yourself every time this happens??
There is a whole community here willing to support you but you need to do your part and keep showing up everyday. Also everyone here could be a lot more helpful if youād reach out before reaching for that first drink instead of after.
Anyways I really do wish you the best and hope you actually do it this time
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Check-in Day 2
My mind feels really sad, and Iāve had multiple relapses this monthāwithin 5 days, 3 days, 1 day, etc.
This time, Iām not keeping much money with me, and my bank account is empty. I only take money for my needs. Iām planning to stay inside my home most of the time.
My last relapses happened when I went outside and met friends or relatives. The cravings hit me, and I drank.
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You cant give into the cravings Sarath. If you do you will never stop drinking.
The next time you are craving, what are you going to do instead?
I was wondering just today when we would hear from you again. I relapsed after 35 days and am back at 5. Im determined not to be a constant relapser so I have had to make drastic life changes. You need to make them too. You have been given lots of resources by others on here so you know where and how to get help if you are actually ready.
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Yes, thatās true, Sarah. But when cravings hit me, my mind goes blank, and I end up drinking. After a relapse, I drink too much, spend all my money, and then regret itāthis cycle keeps repeating.
My last relapse happened on February 26th, after six days of sobriety following a previous relapse. That day, I visited a temple (a pilgrimage site in Hinduism). I was feeling so happy and clear-minded. Then I met my nephew, who suggested we visit one of our cousins who had come from Dubai for vacation.
I knew that if I went, I would end up drinking for sure. Even knowing that, my mind didnāt change. I went with him and drank, and that binge lasted until the day before yesterday. After that, I kept telling myself, āIāll drink today and quit tomorrow,ā but that never happened. I only stopped because I ran out of money.
I really regret it. 
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If its true that your mind goes āblankā you need inpatient treatment immediatly.
I think its more likely your mind is that of many alcoholics, when the cravings hit, you convince yourself its okay SOMEHOW. Whatever excuses you can imagine. You said it yourself, you knew you would drink and your mind didnāt change, thats not a mind going blank, thats an alcoholic mind doing what it is used to doing.
Either way, you need HELP OUTSIDE OF THIS FORUM. None of us can do this alone. When you commit to and participate daily in a recovery program like AA you will learn what to do when you have cravings and how to change your alcoholic mind. Until you get help, make big changes, and take accountability, you will continue drinking.
There is no guarantee we come back from a relapse. Someone said that to me and as much as its painful, its true. Your next drink could kill you.
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This time, Iām going to make some changes. I plan to attend physical AA meetings every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday because online AA meetings havenāt been helping me muchāIām not sure why.
I will also consult a psychiatrist soon.
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Putting this here. Not much more that I can say that hasnāt been said already.
I hope that you get and ACCEPT help before there is a loss of life.
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Choose rehab Sarath 
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Check-in Day 2
This is my night check-in, I had my dinner, here it is 8.20pm and iām going to join AA online meeting at 8.30pm.
The whole day i spend at home only, didnāt went outside. Feeling bit better now.
Hope you all doing well 
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Glad to see you checking in, Sarath.
Try to speak up in your AA meeting today and ask if anyone can help guide you into getting into inpatient rehab. There are lots of people who have been in your shoes and want to help.
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Glad youāre getting to a meeting tonight. Keep at it, check in, reach out. You can do this. Definitely look into rehab, as others have suggested. Go to meetings. I kept relapsing, February was pretty bad, Iām on day 7 being AF today. I can honestly say reaching out here, on day 5, helped a lot. I was going to cave into my cravings. People here helped pull me through, I also didnāt go to the store for cigarettes because I knew Iād get alcohol if I went. So if you have to stay home to avoid drinking, stay home it is okay! Congratulations on your day 2.
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Hey @s_unrelax, again Iām not sure where in India youāre located, but here at several different hotlines that you can call for help to get treatment. Iāll include a link and a screenshot.
I look forward to seeing you post in the morning with an update!
Love and light to you, brother. Donāt give up, donāt give in, DONāT DRINK!!!
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