I am on my millionth day 3 of sobriety. I know how great it feels to be sober, especially when I start really racking up days(the longest I have gone is 34 days). I keep finding myself planning on future drinking episodes in the back of my mind. I desperately want to be clean and sober and enjoy life. I know I can’t accomplish that if I pick up, so why do I keep playing with the notion of drinking in the future? I have never joined a sobriety help group before so I hop on here and vent whenever I catch myself acting out drinking scenarios in my head. Thank you for letting me vent, I am just so tired of being my own worst enemy and self sabotaging.
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I feel the same, never hated anyone more than myself… It’s my first time here and I think with support of other we can stay clean! April 1 tomorrow, we can start a new sober month! 
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There are 14 i’s in your post. We cannot do this alone, we must be open, we must be honest, we must lose our self and ask others for help and then maybe, just maybe, with a bit of action on our part, We can stay sober for today.
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YEAH, there are 14 I’s in my post because this is WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH AT THE MOMENT!!! It was also the 1st time that I posted about it!!! I didn’t realize that you were counting and judging! Hopefully I managed to stay under your minimum requirements this time around!!? To save you the time of counting this time around…there were 5 I’s. My post was titled SELF SABOTAGING AGAIN. SELF MEANS I AS IN ME!!!
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Thank you 
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I think the point @Dolse71 was trying to make is that you are not alone. WE are in this together and WE are here to support you because there is strength in numbers.
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Hi Gina. Have you tried writing down all of the negative things that drinking and using is giving you? Write down why you want to give up, how bad it is at it’s worst, the hangovers, the embarrassing things you did when under the influence. Write down how you feel right now, the frustration and the anger. My anxiety and depression were so so bad during my drinking years. I felt like I could never get off the merry go round. Write all of the reasons you want and need to stop down in a letter to yourself. Be brutally honest with yourself. I did this in the beginning and have only had to read it once, so far. It stopped the craving in its tracks. I don’t think @Dolse71 was trying to say anything other than you truly need to be honest and you are not alone. We are here to support you and help you. Without this place I don’t think I ever could of stopped. It is possible!!! . It’s hard but focus on today. Just don’t drink today. Have you maybe thought of trying AA or NA? I don’t go to these at the moment as what I’m doing seems to be working. But if for some reason that I feel I can not continue like I am I wouldn’t hesitate in getting the extra support. . 
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@Dolse71 doesn’t judge anyone. You interpreted his post all wrong. He’s just trying to tell you that doing this alone rarely keeps anyone sober. We’re all in this together.
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Thank you so much I do have a list of all the horrible consequences than come with my drinking and using. I also made a list of goals I have. My goals list keeps getting bigger and better!
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What are you going to do differently this time around? What is it that makes you relapse? Is it a specific trigger? Work, kids?? The best advice I ever had on here after my replapse was… NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES! I’m very glad you found this place and that you got to come back from your relapse… many don’t 
be gentle with yourself. Time to change things up and make it work. Together we are stronger! Just seen this it’s definitely worth a read… Think before you relapse
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Very true don’t like resplse cuz u could go jail or prison
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Hi @Gina! Welcome 
Take it one day at a time, even one minute at a time when necessary. For me, it helps to read on here and write down for myself the nice things in sobriety: gratitude and things I wouldn’t have done if hungover/using.
That changes my perspective and most of the time stops the cravings, because I immediately start to do things I like (or just do some overdue chores to proudly tap on my shoulder afterwards). Yes, I fail from time to time, but I stick here and read my quit lit, and I reach out for help, a lot changed for me since I got here on TS and I’m confident, that every single sober day is a win and sometime the counting will also have stopped for me because I changed my life into a naturally chosen sober one I work on every day with joy.
Wish you all the best and hang in here, great people and support around on TS 
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I know how you feel but I rarely made it to Day 3. I have been on 1 million Day 1s, hitting reset every morning with a new resolve to “stick to it this time”…until 5pm came around and I sabotaged myself again by reaching for that drink. My longest stretch has been 3 months back in 2018. Today, I am on Day 5. Feels good to be sober and enjoy my evenings but I still think about having a drink. You are not alone.
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I been sober since my po found a beer can week and half ago almost two week been sober enjoying every min of it sometimes want go to a bar or store get 4 pack of beer but I can’t I would end up in big house jail 
Realize that the anticipation of a behaviour or substance is, in some cases, even more powerful than the act of engaging.
Very easy when you are thinking about it to feel all the “good” feelings you associate with drink. It’s more difficult in that moment to remember the aftermath. I think with each new sober day that balance shifts a bit (easier to remember the negatives n forget the so called good). That said, it’s always going to be a part of us. Everyone here knows that feeling.
Got to work it a day at a time. Coming here in those moments, I find, is really helpful.
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It’s a big adjustment to realise we’re not the centre of the universe after years of self harm but don’t let one idiot like me put you off coming here and posting i’s and please do ask for the help of the other kind folk on here, when you’ve leant what they have to offer pass it on to someone new. I wish you well on your journey.
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Oh I wish I could live up to your expectations bc my boss is a dick, my Mrs moans to much, my neighbour is definitely strange, I talk to new comers on the phone who need to pull their finger out their arse, my sponsor is a bit righteous and I hate people in meetings who talk about how shit their day has been and not about how to stay sober.
I apologise for being such a disappointment Lisa but it’s progress not perfection 
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Thank you @sunlover1! You said it perfectly. I made it to day 4! The weekend is usually a big trigger for me. I hope you are doing well!
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I don’t think you are an idiot. I think you are probably a kind person with wise words. My apologies for getting offended and frustrated. I did make it through the night without drinking and woke up with gratitude for another sober day!
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And that my friend is the only thing that matters, well done proud of you. 
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