I know its hard to receive support without talking about what is bothering me but I need a venting outlet. My fiancé’s dad comes into town every other weekend for football games during football season and I get severely anxious. We have been through a lot and no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to forget the crap he has put me and my fiancé through. Any words of encouragement or advice for coping?
Again I know its hard to give advice without me telling you my reasons but the story Is just too long. My fiancé is supportive of how I feel but at some point I can’t just keep talking about it because its his dad and they view something being in the past as something I should just be over by now. If Im being completely honest its hard for me to even hang out with his father without feeling anxious and wanting to drink.
I don’t know if this will help you or not but gratitude has been and still is my strongest tool in my sober tool box. I don’t get as anxious about things as much these days. Here’s an Interesting gratitude article. It’s not a long read. Too many adds though. Check it out if your willing.
I also do a lot of guided meditations which I feel help me tremendously. Good luck with your almost father-in-law.
Thank you So much!
We got a lot of gratidudes on this thread here.
I think we can squeeze you in if you like. No waiting. Have a read around if you like.
Like you said, I don’t know the circumstances, but, is it necessary to hang out with them the whole time? Maybe you could do a greeting , hand out for a little while, then make your exit?
This is where a 12 step program would be beneficial. Maybe consider going to AA and getting a sponsor to work through it.
You need to let yourself heal…
Drinking is the escape route where you need to find a way of the past events not being soul consuming.
Some of us don’t have that forgive and forget mode… Someof us can’t see past the errors made as it doesn’t feel like the other person made enough effort on their failings…
You need to find your way of getting past this…
If its not allowed to be brought up because its in the past… Write a letter to your past self on why your still annoyed and with that comes the button with the easy solution of just drink to get through the weekend with him being there…
You don’t have the luxury of disconnecting this person from your life because he is your partners father but you can set your boundaries sooo you can feel safe and get through a weekend without saying yes to drinking as that’s not a solution that’s just hiding…