@Chrispl if it’s ok for me to chime in here (I identify very much with your experience), my triggers are similar - artificial visual stimulation - and for years I reminded myself to avoid them (don’t visit that site, don’t type that search term, don’t ____), but I didn’t create a substantial change in my behaviour until I traded in my smart phone for a flip phone. (I also moved my personal computer to storage and use my wife’s computer.) My only access to the internet now is on my company phone and tablet, which are monitored. If I had to use a personal computer, I would set up Covenant Eyes to get help with my boundaries.
Have you ever compared, say, a Chinese or Japanese traditional garden with a Western European garden or English garden? Both have boundaries and pathways built in, but they have very different appearances to the observer. What both have in common, though, is careful planning and construction of boundaries and routes.
I used to live in China and that was where I began to take regular walks in gardens, and I developed a lot of respect for how consciously the pathways were built, of where was appropriate to go, and where not. I started to appreciate how boundary building was an important part of life and success. It’s simple - not easy, at all, but simple.
I hope you’ll forgive me chiming in here. I hear - I think - how navigating through the many images in our world is disorienting at times. At least it is for me. Do you find the line between fantasy and reality tough to navigate at times?
Chris. Sorry, didn’t mean to be confusing; it’s just the observation about management of boundaries emerged in my mind in response to your comment about trigger avoidance - so I responded to that comment but tagged Chris because I was talking to him.
I should have responded to his comment, that probably would have been simpler
I don’t know, if You read my other posts in variety of topics, but I’m already in the process of building up on the lifestyle, based on discipline.
Therefore in this case I set myself clear rules to follow.
I’ll run with this lifestyle for couple years and when I’m fully satisfied I’ll become a person, who will teach other people in need on this lifestyle program.
That’s what I’ll do, because helping people is what gives me the most satisfaction in life, and what would be the better satisfaction from helping others, when their life gets better, because of successful recovery from an addiction
Sounds good! Keep sharing - if you’re comfortable doing so - everyone has unique elements in their route to sobriety from our addiction; I learn so much from the others on here & I will be grateful to learn from you too.
Take care - wishing you a steady, stable day today
Well, my biggest experiment to check, will be to see, if discipline can really be a deciding factor on the road to successful recovery.
Since I plan to put self discipline as a core element of my program of recovery lifestyle.
That’s why I mustn’t rush with putting up on the plan and working it with people in need. Therefore I’ll check it on myself first, if this method really works.
I’m looking forward to hearing how that goes (all the ups and downs). Whatever happens, you will definitely learn something! (At least that’s been my perspective for a while now ) Keep us posted
90 PMO
11 dreams
10 craving
Three months ago I had faith but no hope. My faith told me someday I would be completely free. I didn’t know how or when. Faith doesn’t need to know. Faith was my choice. I chose faith over despair.
When I found this forum, I found hope. It was the unknown missing something that you know when you see it. I still didn’t know what to do. I just started doing. And I started recovering. And I started seeing through the fog where to place the next step.
Recovery is a process. The process so far may be the best experience of my life. It is a rebirth. Recovery feeds itself and rewards itself. Motivation is stronger now than on day one.
Recovery is also an achievable goal. This is less a matter faith now that I can observe the progress that has been made. But there is still a ways to go.
I remember him saying a while back that there may come a point he would move on to other projects, that he may not need TS. I’m not sure if he meant leaving all of a sudden, but he definitely is someone who charts his own course.
I’ve just experienced the most difficult phase of recovery thus far. I logged off 26 days ago and removed this app. I don’t want to get into the motivation for that. It wasn’t planned. I threw myself out of the nest.
Almost immediately, the assault began, and it was essentially everyday most of the day for around 16 days. I realized quickly how powerful accountability is. I had been on a very long streak with no craving.
I got a reprieve of a couple days. Then it started up again. The issue was with fantasy and not shutting that out. The focus that accountability gives is truly powerful. Without it, the animal in me assumes permission to fall back into old habits.
But I was stubborn. My willpower won the day, even by a frog’s hair’s margin at times. It was like starting over almost. It wasn’t just willpower though. I relied on various tools and mental exercises. Today I am not craving or struggling with fantasy. Yesterday I was, but less.
I don’t regret anything. What I learned is invaluable. Frankly, I didn’t want to come back. I don’t feel that I need this forum anymore. I didn’t set out to prove that. It just happened. I’m content with my current condition. It’s not over, but I’ve never been this far. And I’m not going back. I guess I’m just here to update my story.
I don’t recommend my path to anyone. You have to find your own way. I especially don’t recommend leaving this forum. It was almost too soon for me. No. It was just barely not too soon. Don’t do what I do. I’m living on the edge. But I have my sight set on something greater. And I am willing to take the risk.
