Hi everyone im new the chat part of this app.
I have been struggling with a porn addiction since i was 15 (im 21 now) ive never been able to go more than 2 weeks without relapsing. I kept my problem to myself until 1 year ago, me coming clean resulted in me being disassociated from all of my friends and family minus my mom who wasnt part of my religion. This has made it even harder because im incredibly lonely and depressed. Hopefully this group is the thing that stops my addiction once and for all.
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Wow. Thatās so sad! What religion do you belong to? Not asking to judge, just to get perspective on their views. That is very tough though. I have been an addict of the same DOC for about 11 years. I really suggest you work a program. Dig into your past, youāll likely realize that the addiction is deeper rooted than just āyou got curious and then got hookedā.
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My family is jehovah witness
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I admittedly donāt know much about the Jehovahās Witness denomination, but it sounds like you arenāt getting a lot of support from that community. I think this addiction can be really hard for people to understand. Just remember that God loves you exactly as you are, his love isnāt contingent on your sobriety, itās unconditional. Have you tried finding a support group specific to our problem? There are several (SA, SAA, SLAA). I recommend checking out their websites and sobriety definitions to see what works for you. The fellowship Iāve found at meetings fills me with strength.
Have a blessed day.
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Thatās sad. All the Jehovahās Witnesses Iāve known were very kind and understanding of peopleās weaknesses. I agree though with Mike though, get a program.
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Strong work seeking support. Unfortunately my addiction escalated from just porn/mb to sex addiction. Working on it right now. Hope youāre well
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Mango,
Fellow porn/chatroom/sex addict here too. I understand the shame and guilt and the loneliness. This addiction is a very private one and also it is sometimes viewed as deviant. I was raised catholic and that sense of shame is instilled at an early age. I now consider myself a Universalist.
I think that itās completely natural for a young man to go through a period where he is sent away from everyone heās ever known to begin the process of spiritual journey. In the journey of life weāre all meant to find our tribe. Itās a part of growing up. The fact that youāve discovered this problem so early in your life speaks volumes of your character and wisdom. Use that to do some introspection, write down what you feel and maybe share it with people. Maybe just keep a journal. Either way it creates a record for the real you to follow. The addict wants you to forget the negative things you learn about your drug of choice.
If you share, you might not feel so lonely because thereās a good group of people here who have been through some of the dark valleys that addiction and recovery bring. Weāll do what we can to support you.
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Thanks for the advice everyone
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Dude, I know how you feel, been there done that 100ās of times.
The thing is, we have sown in this area for so long, now we have to āreapā
We can start to āoutsowā what we have sown in. I am tempted right now to just go look at something raunchy and go jerk off, but I am busy on a project, checked my mail and saw your message. I am listening to something motivating at the moment to help me keep my mind from slipping into all that filth and feeling like $#1T afterwards as you have experienced.
I have found that after I give in I always feel so dirty and worthless, itās like it sucks all the life outta me!
All the more reason to stay alert and remember how rubbish it makes me feel, although, the reason we go back time and time again is because it IS so exciting and thrilling, itās pleasurable for the flesh, but it doesnāt help our soul or our spirit, not one bit! Rather the opposite, it doesnāt even help our body or mind! I have experienced absolute exhaustion and at times I have had days at work after a binge where I could not concentrate for almost a whole day!
Iām on day 02 of no porn. Going to put up a fight tonight!
Iāll be locking my laptop away so I donāt give in. We have to have a plan, make a strategy!
Newpath30! Weāre going to beat this thing! Just never give up!
I got this message from my church leader:
I was tempted now to go look at pornā¦starting with girls in swimsuitsā¦but it always leads to porn.
Then I decided to go back to this message and read it again. It helped me to get back to sobriety, maybe it can help you guys too. Read it when you are feeling on the verge of giving in. I am shutting down the laptop after this message, packing it away and going to bed. 11:00pm is not a good time for an addict to be doing some late night surfing! I normally fall into this stuff if I am tired and looking for it.
Goodnight everyone! Hereās the message from my church leader:
"Start with just with what is before your feet. When it is time to go to sleep, be OBEDIENT. You have made your body used to disobedience, and now you have to keep it in OBEDIENCE in the bed till it has learned to go and sleep when it is time. And then you have to learn it to stand up when it is the right time! And until it has learned it, you have to let if SUFFER!! But the sufferings of OBEDIENCE is far less than the sufferings of DISOBDIENCE. And the sufferings of obedience will stop, but the sufferings of DISOBDIENCE NEVER!!! All depression and darkness and hell goes along with disobedience!!
Why torture yourself with that??
THE KEY TO VICTORY OVER SIN: OBEDIENCE OF FAITH. My faith says: if I eat this āicecreamā, I will die. I obey the faith Jesus has planted in my heart. By obeying I humble myself under Godās Word. I get grace (power) to trample on my lusts and disobedience. I get victory!!! Very simple recipe!!
Never make it complicated ____ - it is just to find excuses that man makes it complicated! From there all the religious books - they try to reason it away to be OBEDIENT"
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I am currently on Day 2 as well. Relapsed after 211 days. After moping and being depressed, I looked at myself long and hard. I got complacent, didnt work my program, was prideful, and didnt read the telltale signs. I will remember what brought me to this last relapse. It was so simple to avoid, but I ignored my learning.
Learn from me, the great fall too. They fall hard. Not saying Iām great, just that a couple days, 211 days, or many years, you are never safe. You are always on hostile ground and are a step away from a landmine.
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Great observations and I have huge respect for your humility in this post, and the example it sets for others about being humble and honest. I have a hard time coming to admit any relapse of any length.
I totally agree that once addicted, we need to keep doing what works, and weāre always vulnerable. I suppose thatās why we have treatment programs for addiction but never curative programs.
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Thank you for sharing. Itās never easy but we wonāt lose till we give up which aināt gonna happen!
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Yo Everyone,
Back at it again. I havenāt done too much of anything the past two weeks. I had the anxiety and the depression. I started counseling and it seemed to be helping. One question that was posed to me wasā¦ āwhat void does porn actually fill, besides bordemā? I also was pointed to this meditation on YouTube. Itās nothing crazy or anything. I have had less of an urge do any M or watch any P. Hope it lasts. Good day gents, keep fighting 
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Good for you! Yeah thatās a pretty core question to anyone working recovery. Any thoughts on what void itās filling?
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For many people the void is a search for intimacy because they are having trouble finding it in their own lives. Even (or especially) emotional rather than physical intimacy.
Meditation can still help in these cases even though itās not a boredom thing, because it trains you to have more control over your thoughts.
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Ohh boi you can say that again. Ours is a problem of connection, intimacy and vulnerability. Yep we may think itās physical but sometimes itās really about seeking companionship but our deep wounds and dysfunctional beliefs about self make things so much more complicated
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Thatās right rmgrimmer! Iām with you in this! Iām going onto day 03 of no xxx but relapsed into masturbation last night at 2:00am. I got victory the first time, at 11:00. I wonāt make excuses but continue to fight and go forward. Itās good to take stock of our lives and backtrack - what was the trigger? How did I give in so easily? What ticked me off? Such questions are good to ask so we donāt fall again so easily.
Tonight I put something to read next to my bed so when I am tempted I can read it. Or I can put a 10kg dumbell weight next to my bed so that when I am tempted I can lift that weight instead of masturbate!
First and foremost I should pray to my God! That will be a great help. I went to a youth meeting tonight and heard that I should take a week and use all the weapons I can on my weakest point then it will succeed for sure! Iām gonna try that!
Goodnight guys! Letās be faithful and fight and never ever give up until we crush this thing.
If I pray to be filled with the Holy Spirit I can for sure beat this thing fine as the dust!
Do whatever helps you!
Thatās me - going for day 03. Best wishes to all of you!
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Keep it up!
Just wanted to share this one. If anyone is interested in the meditation exerciseā¦