Hi everyone im new the chat part of this app.
I have been struggling with a porn addiction since i was 15 (im 21 now) ive never been able to go more than 2 weeks without relapsing. I kept my problem to myself until 1 year ago, me coming clean resulted in me being disassociated from all of my friends and family minus my mom who wasnt part of my religion. This has made it even harder because im incredibly lonely and depressed. Hopefully this group is the thing that stops my addiction once and for all.
2 Likes
Wow. Thatâs so sad! What religion do you belong to? Not asking to judge, just to get perspective on their views. That is very tough though. I have been an addict of the same DOC for about 11 years. I really suggest you work a program. Dig into your past, youâll likely realize that the addiction is deeper rooted than just âyou got curious and then got hookedâ.
1 Like
My family is jehovah witness
1 Like
I admittedly donât know much about the Jehovahâs Witness denomination, but it sounds like you arenât getting a lot of support from that community. I think this addiction can be really hard for people to understand. Just remember that God loves you exactly as you are, his love isnât contingent on your sobriety, itâs unconditional. Have you tried finding a support group specific to our problem? There are several (SA, SAA, SLAA). I recommend checking out their websites and sobriety definitions to see what works for you. The fellowship Iâve found at meetings fills me with strength.
Have a blessed day.
2 Likes
Thatâs sad. All the Jehovahâs Witnesses Iâve known were very kind and understanding of peopleâs weaknesses. I agree though with Mike though, get a program.
1 Like
Strong work seeking support. Unfortunately my addiction escalated from just porn/mb to sex addiction. Working on it right now. Hope youâre well
1 Like
Mango,
Fellow porn/chatroom/sex addict here too. I understand the shame and guilt and the loneliness. This addiction is a very private one and also it is sometimes viewed as deviant. I was raised catholic and that sense of shame is instilled at an early age. I now consider myself a Universalist.
I think that itâs completely natural for a young man to go through a period where he is sent away from everyone heâs ever known to begin the process of spiritual journey. In the journey of life weâre all meant to find our tribe. Itâs a part of growing up. The fact that youâve discovered this problem so early in your life speaks volumes of your character and wisdom. Use that to do some introspection, write down what you feel and maybe share it with people. Maybe just keep a journal. Either way it creates a record for the real you to follow. The addict wants you to forget the negative things you learn about your drug of choice.
If you share, you might not feel so lonely because thereâs a good group of people here who have been through some of the dark valleys that addiction and recovery bring. Weâll do what we can to support you.
1 Like
Thanks for the advice everyone
1 Like
Dude, I know how you feel, been there done that 100âs of times.
The thing is, we have sown in this area for so long, now we have to âreapâ
We can start to âoutsowâ what we have sown in. I am tempted right now to just go look at something raunchy and go jerk off, but I am busy on a project, checked my mail and saw your message. I am listening to something motivating at the moment to help me keep my mind from slipping into all that filth and feeling like $#1T afterwards as you have experienced.
I have found that after I give in I always feel so dirty and worthless, itâs like it sucks all the life outta me!
All the more reason to stay alert and remember how rubbish it makes me feel, although, the reason we go back time and time again is because it IS so exciting and thrilling, itâs pleasurable for the flesh, but it doesnât help our soul or our spirit, not one bit! Rather the opposite, it doesnât even help our body or mind! I have experienced absolute exhaustion and at times I have had days at work after a binge where I could not concentrate for almost a whole day!
Iâm on day 02 of no porn. Going to put up a fight tonight!
Iâll be locking my laptop away so I donât give in. We have to have a plan, make a strategy!
Newpath30! Weâre going to beat this thing! Just never give up!
I got this message from my church leader:
I was tempted now to go look at pornâŚstarting with girls in swimsuitsâŚbut it always leads to porn.
Then I decided to go back to this message and read it again. It helped me to get back to sobriety, maybe it can help you guys too. Read it when you are feeling on the verge of giving in. I am shutting down the laptop after this message, packing it away and going to bed. 11:00pm is not a good time for an addict to be doing some late night surfing! I normally fall into this stuff if I am tired and looking for it.
Goodnight everyone! Hereâs the message from my church leader:
"Start with just with what is before your feet. When it is time to go to sleep, be OBEDIENT. You have made your body used to disobedience, and now you have to keep it in OBEDIENCE in the bed till it has learned to go and sleep when it is time. And then you have to learn it to stand up when it is the right time! And until it has learned it, you have to let if SUFFER!! But the sufferings of OBEDIENCE is far less than the sufferings of DISOBDIENCE. And the sufferings of obedience will stop, but the sufferings of DISOBDIENCE NEVER!!! All depression and darkness and hell goes along with disobedience!!
Why torture yourself with that??
THE KEY TO VICTORY OVER SIN: OBEDIENCE OF FAITH. My faith says: if I eat this âicecreamâ, I will die. I obey the faith Jesus has planted in my heart. By obeying I humble myself under Godâs Word. I get grace (power) to trample on my lusts and disobedience. I get victory!!! Very simple recipe!!
Never make it complicated ____ - it is just to find excuses that man makes it complicated! From there all the religious books - they try to reason it away to be OBEDIENT"
1 Like
I am currently on Day 2 as well. Relapsed after 211 days. After moping and being depressed, I looked at myself long and hard. I got complacent, didnt work my program, was prideful, and didnt read the telltale signs. I will remember what brought me to this last relapse. It was so simple to avoid, but I ignored my learning.
Learn from me, the great fall too. They fall hard. Not saying Iâm great, just that a couple days, 211 days, or many years, you are never safe. You are always on hostile ground and are a step away from a landmine.
6 Likes
Great observations and I have huge respect for your humility in this post, and the example it sets for others about being humble and honest. I have a hard time coming to admit any relapse of any length.
I totally agree that once addicted, we need to keep doing what works, and weâre always vulnerable. I suppose thatâs why we have treatment programs for addiction but never curative programs.
4 Likes
Thank you for sharing. Itâs never easy but we wonât lose till we give up which ainât gonna happen!
2 Likes
Yo Everyone,
Back at it again. I havenât done too much of anything the past two weeks. I had the anxiety and the depression. I started counseling and it seemed to be helping. One question that was posed to me was⌠âwhat void does porn actually fill, besides bordemâ? I also was pointed to this meditation on YouTube. Itâs nothing crazy or anything. I have had less of an urge do any M or watch any P. Hope it lasts. Good day gents, keep fighting 
2 Likes
Good for you! Yeah thatâs a pretty core question to anyone working recovery. Any thoughts on what void itâs filling?
1 Like
For many people the void is a search for intimacy because they are having trouble finding it in their own lives. Even (or especially) emotional rather than physical intimacy.
Meditation can still help in these cases even though itâs not a boredom thing, because it trains you to have more control over your thoughts.
5 Likes
Ohh boi you can say that again. Ours is a problem of connection, intimacy and vulnerability. Yep we may think itâs physical but sometimes itâs really about seeking companionship but our deep wounds and dysfunctional beliefs about self make things so much more complicated
2 Likes
Thatâs right rmgrimmer! Iâm with you in this! Iâm going onto day 03 of no xxx but relapsed into masturbation last night at 2:00am. I got victory the first time, at 11:00. I wonât make excuses but continue to fight and go forward. Itâs good to take stock of our lives and backtrack - what was the trigger? How did I give in so easily? What ticked me off? Such questions are good to ask so we donât fall again so easily.
Tonight I put something to read next to my bed so when I am tempted I can read it. Or I can put a 10kg dumbell weight next to my bed so that when I am tempted I can lift that weight instead of masturbate!
First and foremost I should pray to my God! That will be a great help. I went to a youth meeting tonight and heard that I should take a week and use all the weapons I can on my weakest point then it will succeed for sure! Iâm gonna try that!
Goodnight guys! Letâs be faithful and fight and never ever give up until we crush this thing.
If I pray to be filled with the Holy Spirit I can for sure beat this thing fine as the dust!
Do whatever helps you!
Thatâs me - going for day 03. Best wishes to all of you!
3 Likes
Keep it up!
Just wanted to share this one. If anyone is interested in the meditation exerciseâŚ