For me Porn actually did fill the void of bordem and also the lack of of intimacy. It was just easier to do than being an actual good lover and trying to physically please a woman because the only person you have to worry about is yourself.
You nailed it my friend. Itās tough as there are deeper issues at play too.
Howāre you holding up?
Not too bad actually. I havenāt been counting my days but I well over two weeks with no M and I havenāt been watching any P. Small urges but truly I think that Iām getting better and Iām not missing it as much. Starting to forget about it really. The meditation and keeping busy is helping me overcome.
Hey guys, I wiped out last night. Pray for me and Iāll do everything I can tonight to fight & flee.
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Do Not Forget! Remember me? Mr. 211 days? Yeah, the only cure for addiction is constant focus and diligence for the rest of your life.
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It really pisses me off that Iām doing my best to BETTER MYSELF and women act like you are wrong for wanting sex.
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Hey Rob,
How are you feeling? Iāve been thinking a lot about you and your recent admission. Thanks for continuing to show up and for sharing your struggle with us.
Do you have anybody in your life to be accountable to? Just wanted to offer up my ear if you ever need it. Iām happy to listen and to be a contact point if youāre in need of an emergency phone call.
What youāre doing takes fortitude. I admire your ability to dust yourself off and keep going with your chin up.
Right here with you brother.
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Thank you! I will definitely reach out to you should I need some extra support. Iāve got a network of help right now. A lot of the regulars whoāve been here a long time, but recently disappeared, talk on hangouts.
Iām definitely not quitting though. Iāll be back at 211 days in 207 days. No biggie. I have my protocols in place, just need to remember and never forget.
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You are certainly not the first to feel frustrated, I used to feel that way, but you are really blaming the victim here, as I did when I had those thoughts. As lust addicts, we are inclined to desire sex and attention from women at an unhealthy level. When we donāt get our way, our addiction makes us resentful and angry and we isolate ourselves.
Maybe Iām way off base, but that was my interpretation from your post.
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Sorry yāall. Stressful periods and things got to me again and I didnāt reach out. It was almost as though the shame made me avoid everyone or maybe the fact that I need to own up to what I did. I acted out twice in the past 2 days.
Slowly getting on my feet and recommitting. Thanks all for being here
I have been on Tumblr but no M. I have done well staying away from the cam sites. I took part in looking but still no Mā¦ Iām doing well with no M but need to stay away from the material.
I googled and watched videos about dopamin level in human brain.Porn addiction and its side effect term musterbation can cause severe damage to the existing natural dopamin level. So to get a satisfactory arousal,low dopamin level can create problems.after so many relapses,i decided to come back here.I ll post a comment about my recovery journey every week. Lets do this.want to eliminate pornography from my life.
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Is the damage permanent from porn?
Hey @Newpath30,
I donāt think that we do any long term ādamageā to our bodies or our minds by using porn. I think there are definitely physiological effects such as erectile dysfunction or desensitization resulting from masturbation and hypersexualized content that is consumed. I think that time will heal those issues. However, I donāt think that the draw of porn ever really disappears completely. We can come to understand that we are powerless against it and we can learn to control our impulses.
I have resigned myself to the fact that I will always be an addict in recovery. I have accepted that it is who I am and that I have to make the choice every day to avoid porn and chatrooms. I have also taken steps to make sure that I am not chasing orgasm through personal relationships as well.
Itās not easy. But itās worth it. I much prefer the person I am when Iām sober compared to the person I am when Iām using.
Find something to do to lift your spirits when youāre in a funk. Challenge yourself. Do something new. Do something youāve always wanted to try. Meditate, go to the gym, read a book about recovery, speak to a therapist, find a SLAA or SA meeting, do anything but donāt use porn. There is help out there but you have to want to quit porn and you have to believe you can.
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I am unable to quit.any good advice for me.
Hi, what are some of the things youāve tried so far? Have you been to any kind of support group or therapy? Have you been reading any self help books? Have you tried changing your routine?
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Yes have tried all some helped other didnāt,my best is 13 days in sober.
I only ask because I have been doing well staying away but my anxiety and stamina are still taking a major performance hitā¦
Not sure when your sobriety date is but whenever Iāve started to get clean I have had issues with feeling tired and lacking energy. Thereās a lot of life force expelled through masturbation and orgasm. It can take weeks to start getting that energy back. Then when that energy back y comes back Iāve had to channel it toward meaningful endeavors. When I am feeling wired up and feeling anxious itās usually because Iām in need of some exercise. Going to the gym, yoga, jogging, xc skiing, basketball, anything to get my heart rate up and burn off some energy and reset my intentions is completely necessary for me to maintain my sobriety. I also had to give up video games because it was too sedentary and was often triggering for my porn use. If you have other interests such as martial arts maybe give that a try? On top of the exercise, guided meditation has been very useful to help me deal with the difficulties I have processing emotions. If my ego wonāt let things go or if my mind is hung up on my shortcomings it is really helpful to find my breath and return my mind to the present moment.
Additionally, some people find medications helpful. Perhaps consider speaking with a mental health professional. Addictions can hide unresolved problems because we self medicate to cope with all the symptoms. Itās not weakness to seek help.
Finally, read books. There are plenty of publications that offer advice on porn and sex addiction. You are NOT alone. Reach out on TS, help others who are struggling with your problem. By telling your story you might help someone identify a flaw in themselves. In serving others you help yourself. Also, it helps to grow a network around you to reach out and be open. Air out the things you feel shame about, trying to keep them secret only compounds the shame. Sharing them is a step toward accepting yourself. Not saying you have to get into the nitty gritty but sharing m thoughts, feelings, struggles with other addicts has truly helped me to create a program that keeps me clean.
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2 days cleanā¦